To still overthink something said to me a month ago?

[Lis1992]

AIBU to still have it in my head constantly- what a family member said to me in a minor row nearly a month ago? The argument was nothing too serious just tensions running high. They told me ‘I can’t just let people be happy’ .I felt it was unfair comment. AIBU to go back and ask them what they meant by it and if they really believe it’s true? As I know it isn’t I always want people to be happy. Things are totally normal now and I know it wouldn’t be in their head as they don’t overthink. However, I do.
so am I overthinking or would you ask them? It would be a bit out of the blue but! So should I let it go and live in the present? Or bring it up?

As I know it isn’t I always want people to be happy.

freudian slip??

IMO things are rarely resolved by bringing them up with others, especially not when you’re in a defensive state of mind.

What feelings did this comment evoke in you? It’s the feelings that are still kicking around/unresolved.

@Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink no , just me saying I don’t believe it’s true. I chronically overthink and I’m stressed at the moment in general. So it’s like my brain is looking for anything unresolved to make me overthink! If that makes sense. But then I’m thinking it is resolved really, as it’s been a month. Don’t know if I’ve anything to gain by raising it as an issue.

Reflect on it and move on OP. Others opinions can be interesting but they may not have actual value, and sometimes people just don't like us as well as we would like.

Sounds like a vague way of being defensive to me - or a reaction if you were picking fault at someone/something, probably no basis and I think it’s too late to bring it up again - unless you want a new full blown row and more major fallout.

I think if you bring it up now, nearly a month later and when things have been smoothed over, you might end up just proving their initial point

What did it make you feel? Angry? Sad? Why?

Try to forget it. That person may've had all sorts going on that you didn't know about and you just hit a nerve. Put a big smile on your face next time you see them. Put it behind you.

This.

Also, wanting people to be happy in principle, and "allowing" someone who is happy to remain so aren't the same thing. Very few people would think of themselves as "not wanting others to be happy", but a lot of people do seem compelled to piss on people's chips, or find the negatives when someone they know actually is happy.

Nobody on here can tell you if that's applicable to you, and raising it with the original commenter is unlikely to help, but some decent introspection might. If you can't see any basis for the comment, or how any of your actions / words that could've been misinterpreted, the commenter was likely just lashing out.

YANBU I am still overthinking about stuff said years ago.