to refuse to sponsor this young person

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

An acquaintance has sent out a mass message asking people she knows to sponsor her son to do a 10k run in the New Year.
Son is 17, Y13, and next summer is going to Uganda to build a playground in a primary school. He's raising funding for this with a target of £2500.

AIBU to think that, if the tables were turned, we wouldn't accept this? If I was told that a group of young people, with no experience, were coming to install playground equipment in my child's primary school, I would be outraged. As would other parents. And yet children in less wealthy countries are expected to be grateful for inexperienced people pitching up at their school.

When DS was in 6th form, there was an "opportunity" to go to Malawi for two weeks and volunteer in a school. I told DS I wouldn't support this, and he didn't go.

Why do schools and colleges run these trips, supposedly to "help" less fortunate children, when in fact it tends to be middle class children who go, because it looks good on their CV.

AIBU?

When my children were at school their schools both ran big trips in the sixth form. When we went to the meeting about the trip being run at my daughter’s school, which was to S.Africa, someone asked why they were doing diving and safari and not a charity trip. The answer given was pretty much what has been said on here, they were unsure of the value of those trips to the locals etc. Made sense to me.

On the middle class point - the issue is that these trips cost ££££. And (I can't believe I'm having to spell this out but I will) it's typically much easier for middle class children to raise a couple of grand from friends and family because they have more disposable income.

Definitely. I think that kids are encouraged to fundraise themselves. What this generally means in our town is their parents they sell things on fb (small items for eg £5, sweetcones, Xmas decorations etc) that presumably the parent has bought in bulk and the student is then selling on at a small profit. One was selling crafts that another relative had made and mum was advertising on fb. I wondered what the actual students input was....? Some offer services like babysitting/dog walking/ pet sitting etc

@IMissVino

Some people are very much arguing that all people who volunteer abroad are white saviours, and that it is pointless to volunteer abroad. I specifically got told that my volunteering only benefits me. So I was setting a few facts straight with those people.

Agree with you. Why can’t the colleges do this in parts of the UK that are very deprived. Doesn’t look as glamourise and white saviour on the CV. Or maybe fundraising for the local refuge? I see where you are coming from and it’s truly patronising. People do it to make themselves feel better. I wouldn’t sponsor him as well MC twat.

Even if they do fundraise themselves, it’s interesting how they go about it. They don’t go and get a job in Tesco. They’d rather fundraise in a fun way, by getting somebody to give them money for doing a hobby they already do and enjoy, like rowing or some other shite.

YANBU we get this all the time in our area and I do not like the type of schools that encourage it for the youngsters CVS. The youngsters don’t grow from the experience it’s actually quite sickening the attitudes displayed on return from some of them and some of their parents too.

Bearing in mind most organisations don’t leave things in a better state (as confirmed in the links to articles in this thread), can I ask why you think that wasn’t the case where your son volunteered?

Either

1. pay for your own holiday OR;
2. fundraise and donate the money

posted this earlier but just in case someone is interested in doing things a different way: volunteeringmatters.org.uk/opportunity/full-time-volunteer-opportunity-all-over-the-uk/

You can volunteer in the UK and get board, lodging and expenses. No need for sponsorship. Properly life-changing stuff and the best year of my life.

Far more honest and more useful - tourism generates a lot of money for the SA economy, I am all for it. Even better if they look for accommodation and businesses with some sort of community benefit approach, but even if they don't there is at least some honesty about it.

That's been a huge sea change in what global charities do in poor countries. When I was a student in the 70s I looked at VSO. Back then young people were sent out by VSO to teach in schools. Now in early retirement I looked again. And VSO focuses on offering one or two year voluntary placements to Headteachers and teacher trainers. It's not about doing work for/instead of the locals any more. It's about going out there and training lots of locals to teach.
And of course teaching is just an example. The same applies to other skills and professions. They send out people who can train and educate many, not people who'll just do the job of one person.

So to reiterate, reputable charities do not go near voluntourism, and certainly not school group trips.

@PontinsBeach I think I proper love you!

Can anybody who works in HR in a relevant field, or an admissions tutor who screen’s applicants for degrees popular with this type shed some light on how these trips are viewed? If you had 2 candidates, exact same grades, with one having done a foreign voluntourism trip and the other having volunteered at a local foodbank and volunteered in supporting vulnerable people with mental health issues in the community, which would you choose?

My (wealthy) friends son did something similar via Scouts.
I remember her telling me that they weren’t allowed to pay for it but had to raise the money through donations. She told me that she had spent the previous Saturday “standing in the Co -Op in a very expensive coat asking people to let her and her privately educated son pack their bags in return for money so he could go off on holiday - fucking ridiculous “ (her words)

I know a lot of countries have stopped the 'come and build orphanages' trips, as it was discovered that this just encouraged very poor parents (still living) to put their children into the orphanages to have a better life (ie where they might be adopted by a rich westerner a la Madonna). That it would be better to sponsor the families and keep them together seemed to pass her by...

But yes, agree there's no point supporting these stupid trips.

You have been tagging and needling @Sigma33 (who, commendably, has mostly ignored you) who was very clear from the outset and had repeated a few times that they are not talking about skilled volunteering (posts are still up there). They even specifically told you that they weren’t talking about skilled volunteering. The example given in the ‘for your benefit’ post was again, about voluntourism, not skilled volunteering. So, again, not about you or what you’re doing.

You reacted similarly when I shared resources about the pitfalls of voluntourism (again, not skilled volunteering, so not about you).

You’re not ‘setting anyone straight’. You’re trying to centre yourself in a conversation that isn’t about you and it’s very odd.

This looks really interesting. I’ll have a proper read, shortly. Thank you for sharing.

All of this.

Aside from all the problems already raised around volunteerism, 10k is not even far.
I wouldn't sponsor someone to run that distance when I could walk it myself in less than an hour and a half.
This is a fit young man, he could at least pretend to be challenging himself while out on the beg for a free holiday.

@Talia99 he’s at Uni at the mo so I can’t get the facts from him. (And I have pero menopausal fibro fog!) but I recall they worked doing specific jobs those in the community wanted. Nothing glamorous. No actual building. He’s not a qualified builder! But donkey work like digging for drains. They were very much guided by local people as to what their community needed. They took money to spend and also had to raise an extra sum to leave with locals to spend as they needed.
Then there was a holiday part. That also brought money and jobs to the local economy.
I viewed it as a chance to get some actual experience of living like an adult. Working and budgeting and having to take others into consideration etc. It was however too like a holiday to ask other people to sponsor him.
As I said he worked for the money. And we topped up the amount.

Interesting thread. I started off thinking you were being unreasonable but now I've learnt more about voluntourism I agree with you.

Yes, every so often we would get people (often 'called by God'😂) coming to ask for advice about setting up an orphanage.

We would explain the psychological damage experienced by children living long-term in residential care. That they age out of care, and who then supports them?

We would talk them through how many staff they would need (more than the number of children, as there would be admin staff, drivers, cooks etc) and how much it would cost.

Then we would get them to think about how families could be supported to look after their own, or foster, children. How much better it would be for the children, how much cheaper and therefore sustainable.

By this point their eyes would glaze over.

Because they were so fixed on having their own orphanage with their own little orphans (always little and cute, never angry and unco-operative teenagers, never young adults needing a home to come back to). They just didn't want to hear it, they just wanted to live their saviour-fantasy.

Thanks for calling it commendable - actually I popped out to get some wine, even though it's a bit early in the week 😂

But in general I try not to get into pointless arguments with random strangers on the internet!

Interesting question - I'd like to know the answer to this too.

Also at 17 why can't he go and get a job? Although if he thinks 10k is an endurance test thats worthy of sponsorship that might seem like too much hard work.