to say fussy eating makes food budgeting really difficult.

[Comedycook]

At my wit's end! Financially we are doing ok, thankfully, but the price of food is getting ridiculous. I'm spending so much money on food. I could cut down and I'm a pretty good, imaginative cook, but my DC are making it so difficult.

Examples...DD always has eaten corn on the cob. Made it last night to go with dinner...wasn't touched. Asked why not.. apparently it gets stuck in her teeth. But she happily ate it last week.

This morning, gave her a bowl of cornflakes...moaned she didn't like the brand of cornflakes and it ended up getting binned.

Ds is a teen...he takes in packed lunches. Sometimes he eats them, sometimes he doesn't but there is no way to predict whether or not he will or won't so it creates so much food waste.

What I find the most frustrating is when they turn their noses up at food they've previously enjoyed.

I really hate wasting food.

Anyone else in the same situation?

The only way I countered my daughter’s fussy eating was to involve her in the meal planning & get her involved in the preparation.

Even then, if she didn’t like it, she had 2 options; eat it, or don’t eat it, but I’m not making something different just because she doesn’t fancy it in that moment.

Both of mine have grown into healthy adults, neither died from not eating the mushrooms they’d eaten for years and then turned their noses up at the last minute

There were times we were on the bones of our arses financially (self employed, scabby non paying clients, one alone owed me £180k, bastard), so at times they absolutely knew there wasn’t anything else to eat if they turned their noses up.

Food intolerance/allergies aside (I just have to look at gluten & pomegranates to make me do an impression of the kid in The Exorcist, thanks allergies), if you give an older child a voice to deciding family meals at the planning stage, they can’t wiggle out & be fussy when you cook & serve the very meals they have chosen.

If anyone has younger children in primary school, one trick is to let your children have school meals with their peers. I’ve been a school cook (see 180k bastards above, I’ll do anything to keep the bills paid & it was a great job) & even fussy eaters will try different foods if they see their friends eating it!

Allergies, intolerances & issues with textures/foods (like DH has, high functioning autism) aside of course.

For goodness sake, OP. When people say ‘get them involved’, do you think we mean ‘give them free rein to buy any expensive food they fancy’?!

Things that have been suggested:

• Meal planning with them for the week. You give them a certain number of options and they are allowed to suggest a meal each.
• Making them responsible for a dinner a week.
• Making them responsible for their own breakfast and lunch (with basics you provide, not extravagances).
• Stop buying and letting them fill up on junk. They have the opportunity to input into what food is served. If they choose not to eat that, then that’s that. They’re hungry.
• Tell them what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

Generally enforce a bit of order. It currently sounds like you’re massively infantilising kids who are old enough to be reasoned with. You’re not doing them any favours.

What about trying a gousto box a couple nights a week and get them to make it?

Obviously, getting your kids involved means to plan within your own financial provisions. It doesn’t mean the kids dictate a wish list & you have to buy it, otherwise we’d all go broke! It’s a great lesson in budgeting as well as cooking & planning skills.

Maybe sitting down as a family will help...
Also, as my DC are older I don't put their food on the plates anymore. They can take what they want to eat and the rest is safed fo lunch.
I found they actually eat really well this way. Sometimes it's just about control and food is something children can control.

Yeah it's a struggle.

I have an autistic kid here who likes everything separate and plain, and a vegetarian teen who literally likes the opposite things to sibling. Meal planning is a challenge... If we had no kids we would batch cook big stews and curries with small amounts of meat/fish and lots of veggies/lentils etc to save money and would be healthy too. But no kid is eating that stuff.

Yes exactly...I would too... pretty much every meal is deconstructed.

If we had no kids we would batch cook big stews and curries with small amounts of meat/fish and lots of veggies/lentils etc to save money and would be healthy too. But no kid is eating that stuff

Why do people post this stuff? Your kid won't eat it so no kids eat it? OF course they do!

And we tried everything recommended from weaning onwards re introducing foods/textures. We did BLW, we eat a wide variety of healthy foods and different flavours ourselves... Anyone who thinks 'they wouldn't get away with that in our house' has not tried to feed a child with ASD/sensory issues 😆 they would not eat it, and still not eat it later, and prefer to starve themselves, and then be kicking off and unable to understand that they were hungry... Extremely stressful and challenging. There will be No Slimy Things and No Sauces and No Mixed Things eaten. Ever. We count ourselves lucky that at least both kids will eat healthy foods, including various vegetables.

@FatimaHatima

I meant no kid in our house!

Obviously other children are available.

This is it...my ds doesn't have special needs but I do feel like I've tried with him. Like I said, as a baby he ate everything. I tried being tough but he'd have honestly rather have gone hungry that ate something he didn't like. He's come shopping with me...he's cooked meals. I honestly just thought he'd grow out of it by now. I'm a foodie and love cooking and trying new things...it's frustrating

How can you provide a food you know they’ll eat when one day they would happily eat it the next they don’t?

I often think that a lot of posters on here (who appear to be White British) have zero conception of what kids (or indeed, people in general) eat in other cultures or outside their apparently quite small frame of reference.

As I can promise them that for much of the world (and many people in the U.K.) some variation of ‘stews and curries with small amounts of meat/fish and lots of veggies/lentils etc’ is pretty standard fare that kids eat perfectly happily.

I have four fussy eaters, each one different in their own special way. I do a lot of "family service" meals. So food is put on big plates and they help themselves. THe rule being you don't have to have it but if you take it you eat it. As it's not been plated I have the leftovers for lunch, or freeze them.

Stuff like bolognaise is served seperate to pasta. One kid has pasta with mayo and grated cheese and I do a rainbow salad so stripes of lettuce/ cucumber/ carrots etc rather than a mix and again they take what they want.

I rotate stuff around to make sure everyone gets protien at least every other day the mayo pasta child loves fish for example.

@IMissVino see my clarification above!

A few yeArs go there aS programme where a few families went "back in time" to the 19th century into the lives of a Welsh coal miner. At the start the kids were all uggh I'm not eating that. After going hungry, and I mean proper hungry, not a bit peckish, they started eating everything.

I'm the mother of a very fussy eater but now she's a mum she eats most things.

As well as talking to them about preference/genuinely can’t eat, can you explain about the money? Say to them that if you are having to bin perfectly good food (and replace it with snacks and other food) that means you have less money for bills, trips or holidays?

That's why it says "almost always eat" because there will always be some days where they won't, even though they usually love it.

In those cases I let them eat as much or as little of their meal as they like. There are usually two courses for our evening meal, the main and a very simple dessert such as fruit or yoghurt or something I've baked if I've been off work. They get both courses regardless of whether they ate the main or not and it's very rare for them to not eat anything at all.

On the rare occasion they eat absolutely nothing then they either wait until the next meal or, if they're very hungry or its going to be a long time until the next meal they can get a plain/basic snack a little while later.

Not to be contrary but with the daughters example it’s not food she “happily ate”
Different brands can taste different, have a different texture - it’s possible she was expecting a certain taste and was surprised by it being different hence the revulsion. I would ask her if she’d like to try them again as a snack/ without milk.
with the sweet corn , it’s possible she was irritated by the corn stuck in her teeth after the meal - solution would be to suggest frozen corn or canned it’s less of a waste

my family are the same so I do understand the frustration

the curry in the slow cooker vs the hob is exactly the kind of thing that would happen in my house !

I try to be understanding because when I was young Id happily eat spaghetti bolognese and pizza but I hated the way tomato sauce would repeat on me later and I’m sure my folks were baffled when I announced I didn’t like those anymore

Honestly? I still think you are pandering too much. At 14 he's old enough to eat what you provide and recognise the effort you put in. I wouldn't be offering cereal or bread as alternatives to a nutritious dinner.

Get him to make a list of things he absolutely can't tolerate eating as a PP has said.

You don't include anything on that list, but other than that, he eats what he's given and you don't allow him to raid the bread bin/ cereal if he refuses it - that's not a balanced meal. I think you need to put your foot down.

Feeding an ASD family. I can’t even substitute brands of component ingredients without entire dishes being rejected. My husband can tell the difference between the same brand of milk purchased between 2 different stores.

so far our food budget is ok because we are lucky. The problem is empty store shelves forcing me to make substitutions.

Nope. My children were free to not eat any or all of the substantial varied communal meal provided, menu based on their known likes/dislikes.

The alternative menu was self-serve bread and butter.

As we served three substantial meals a day no child risked death by starvation. No adult was abused or manipulated.

That's interesting as this 'fussy eater' (myself) can taste the difference in things that others can't eg I only like seasalt as can taste the difference. I once saw a programme about 'super tasters' and a lot of things fell into place so perhaps ops son is one of these. I totally agree with him that the same ingredients cooked in a slow cooker taste different to on the hob! Or brands of the same foods taste very different.

Super taster? That's interesting. I will look that up.

My husband can tell the difference between the same brand of milk purchased between 2 different stores.

Sorry, you mean he can taste the difference between (for example) Cravendale milk bought in Tesco, and Cravendale milk bought in Sainsbury’s?