I can't stop analysing my daughter's behaviour...

[Timetheworldsaysicantafford]

I'm having a few issues with my daughter - she's in year 3, and has never had very settled, easy or natural friendships within her class. Another mum spoke to me a few weeks ago - and said my daughter had been unkind on a number of occasions. I don't think she is being deliberately unkind, but is struggling within her group, and doesn't always deal well with it. That's not an excuse though... We've spoken a lot about it, I'm really trying to help her but really struggling now to not analyse every thing she does, and every word she says ("Is that kind?" etc) I've spoken to the teacher - who hasn't picked up on anything. I think it's a lot of low-level things rather than anything major. I don't think any ASD, but know it can't be ruled out per se, especially in girls. I don't even know what I'm asking really 😥 - just finding it really hard, and know things are bound to get harder as we approach teenage years... Sigh...

I can relate to this op. My daughter has always struggled to maintain friendships, centre of lots of drama throughout school and college. It’s really difficult and I don’t know the answer, just wanted to offer support.

Girls can be really nasty in KS2 OP. Just make sure you nip any sass or bitchiness in the bud ASAP.

I don't think it was especially 'kind' of the other mum to tell you about all the times your daughter has been unkind!

Honestly it might be ASD but it might just be the dynamic of that class. Specifically how is she unkind to people?

Ps you've got ages before teenage years! Don't put the cart before the horse, she will do a lot of maturing before the hormones hit.

This is exactly what I was going to say - can't believe the other responses so far.

Why are you automatically believing this other mother's opinion of your daughters own behaviour? Like @Mardyface said it's not kind of her to point out your child's 'unkindness' - what on earth?

If it's legit, then fine, but before being picky about your daughter's use of words and thinking "is she unkind?" I'd be first focusing attention to this other mother's words and thinking "is she unkind?" Is the mother a friend of yours, btw? I'd also be reconsidering that.