Is it so terrible not to sleep in bed with husband regularly ?

[lonesleeper]

This has been a thing for us for a while. I used to suffer from really bad insomnia. My H needs his sleep and doesn't suffer from insomnia. I would keep him up, by moving around or reading etc and he'd get grumpy.

Also, I like night time. It's the only time I can truly relax alone.
I started sleeping on the sofa for some of the night, most nights really. If I could sleep, I stayed in bed of course.

Then I was pregnant and again, could not sleep. So I slept at least some of the night away from him.

Then I had a baby and didn't want to keep H up all night, so slept separately with baby.

Then pregnant again, same issue.

Now we have a baby and a toddler and I sleep with the baby, in order not to keep my H awake.

Baby has just turned six months, so I'm happy to move back into my bed, however has a terrible cough at the moment, so I need to stick around to make sure baby is OK.

Husband hates me for it.

Suggest you sleep in the same bed as him, refuse to go on the sofa when he gets annoyed by your wakefulness, and see how he likes that!! He can sleep on the sofa if he wants.

He hates you for it?

You are doing him a huge favour! You are sleeping with the baby so he has to do fuck all parenting overnight and gets uninterrupted sleep. I’d be worshiping at your feet!

How much of the night wakings and coughs has he been helping with? I think sleeping separately isn’t a big deal if it’s discussed and both parties are happy with it. But he ‘hates you’ that sounds like you’ve got bigger issues than where you sleep

Your husband shouldn't hate you for it, that's ridiculous on his part, but I get the impression that you actually much prefer to sleep alone and the insomnia, pregnancies, babies, toddlers, colds, whatever are just a convenient excuse.

Absolutely no issue with it whatsoever. Haven’t slept in same bed as my husband for maybe ten years or more and it’s heaven. He snores loudly, we used to fight over the quilts (even when we got separate ones we’d still lose them in night and fight over whose it was), I am a very light sleeper so whenever he stirred I was wide awake for hours. Sleeping separately practically saved our marriage. We come together for special cuddles ;) ;) so not lacking in that department either thank you very much. Win/win.

I don't think it's a big deal. Me and DP struggle to share a bed as he has restless leg syndrome, and I am a light sleeper. He also snores. So I end up not sleeping and getting grumpy with him. It's easier if we just sleep separately, then both of us sleep well and are happy!

Do you still desire regular sex with your husband but would rather sleep elsewhere?

Do you not desire regular sex anymore, but your husband does and so is unhappy you don’t share a bed anymore because he associates it with sex?

hard to really comment more unless this bit is covered sorry @lonesleeper