Am I blacklisted

[Bluecoldpillicheppers]

New job offer, gone back and forth for over a week on flex working, turns out they can’t do it and 0 wiggle room. My current employer have offered raise (not quite as much as new salary ) but they offer me flex working raise is within £1500 (before tax) of new offer. Reason for flex is childcare and costs for 3 dcs (2 nursery age and 1 school… so after school club).

the week going back and for was to see if there’s any family who can chip in and support/ if we can viably finance it with additional paid childcare (no about £100 worse off per month prior to raise). Family have tried to make their work schedules conform, and found out today, no luck, just waiting on one good family friend..

looks like I’ll have to turn down the job offer, will I be black listed?

conversely if that friend can come through, will I have already started on the wrong foot?

really stressed so may be overthinking

Blacklisted by who?

Everything is a negotiation until you sign that contract. This role doesn't work for you, feed that back honestly along with the reasons why then plot your next step.

I'm sure they'd much rather your honesty than you take this job out of a sense of obligation and leave after 6 months when reality hits. - bad hires cost more in the long run

You never know - they might miracuously meet you on your needs!

Your title is a bit misleading btw...

I guess by the new company, just in case I wanted to go for a job there In the future. I’ve been honest as to the reason behind my ask, and what I need to try and, seems there is no wiggle room

maybe I should have said ‘am I going to be blacklisted’

They will just move on to offer the job to the next person on the short list.

Recruitment is like that. People change their minds all the time. Its unlikely they will care.

i was just worried it would leave a bad taste in their mouth, like I was being difficult, either way tbh, even if I end up taking the role

Did you apply for the job on x hours, accept it and are now trying to negotiate?

If not then don't worry. If that is what you did then...not the greatest of starts...

Honestly, it depends on what was actually said and the details to say whether you came across so bad that you left a bad taste or whether it's been standard recruitment negotiations. It depends on things like the speed and tone of communication and how you phrased your needs and the timings of them, like a pp said whether you accepted then messed them about.

In any case, in the future they might not be the same recruitment panel or managers, people change jobs all the time. If you behaved well through this and they are spiteful enough to black list you, trust me you don't want to work in such an environment anyway.

I wouldn't rely on friends for childcare and I would accept the offer by first employer.

Not accepted yet, they came to me with an offer and I enquired it flex working is sometbing they can offer due to it’s what my current employer does and the COL and childcare costs etc. They said they can’t, but heres an extra 1k and I’ve said I need to see if I can make something work so I’ve not verbally accepted anytbing it’s negotiation stage tbh

You're massively over thinking it. Sounds like standard negotiations to me.

Tbh from what you've said I'd stick with the current job. If you're having to call on so many favours to make the lack of flexible working work for you, you're going to be in a pickle as soon as someone you're relying on has an emergency of their own or their or your situations change suddenly. The flexi is worth way more than £1500 imo.

Your response was fine then, don't worry!

Didn't they say anything about working hours at interview?

We always discuss this with the applicant during the interview so both parties know the score. If the candidate needed something we couldn't offer we then simply wouldn't offer them the role.

Sounds like OP was headhunted.

God I'd love to be important enough to headhunted

I asked about flex working and said they were all for it, i think there might’ve been an misunderstanding as to what was meant by flex, I meant compressed hrs which is what is typically meant and I think they meant wfh, and doing the school run

Oh god not important enough for that, I had an interview, flex working mentioned in job description, and in interview, week later job offer and then it’s been a bit of back and forth since. I’m actually very surprised they can’t accommodate any form of flex given
the company’s prominence and size