Grandfathers funeral messing up his week

[killerkweek]

My husband works away and is self employed, he fits in as much time away as he can while trying to maintain some routine so he can spend time at weekend with his children from his first marriage and me and our young baby.
He's struggled to do that recently with his work load and I think he feels guilty, I try to heap as little guilt as a possibly can on him and never nag him to be home for certain things
My grandfather died two weeks ago, he was away working when he passed away and asked me if I'd like him to come home and comfort me, I felt it was unnecessary as my family were close and I'd save that 'coming home' token for when I really felt needed him.
Anyway he really felt like he needed to be here this weekend seeing his kids on Saturday night and Sunday, he came home exhausted but made loads of effort for them and they had a nice time, normally he'd leave tomorrow or even today and try and be back next weekend. The funeral is booked for Wednesday so he says he feels he should stay for it, I've not asked him too but he says he wants to be there to show support.
He was talking to one of his friends today on the phone and I was playing with my baby in the same room. The friend obviously asked when he was back to work and I said that 'my week is a balls up because of a funeral I'm having to go to'
When he came off the phone I said this hurt my feelings and he said I was being overly sensitive.
Am I? I do suffer terribly with PMS and I'm pretty bad with it now but I feel that was hurtful, AIBU?

Sorry for all those grammatical errors I really should have re read before I posted

It should read, the friend obviously asked when he was back at work and HE said 'my week is a balls up because of a funeral'

Don't worry, it makes perfect sense!
Yanbu.
I would be livid if I heard Dh speak like that and I would tell him to fuck off to work.

It sounds like an off the cuff comment. Don't read too much into it.

It's clumsy phrasing but I don't think he meant it to be hurtful. I might say that having to look after my sick daughter has ballsed up my week (it has!) but that doesn't mean I resent my daughter for it. I think it's just one of those things people say to outsiders, putting a brave/jokey face on it so to speak. He has shown you that he wants to be there for you and support you. I'm really sorry about your grandfather.

I think he's maybe just been a bit thoughtless in the wording he's chosen there, but as you've stated he decided to stay with you for the funeral to be supportive. Its making me think he's just chosen his words poorly without thinking how that would feel for you overhearing rather than actually meaning anything by it. It might have meant reorganising a lot for him in work which is a pain but doesn't mean he's not happy to do it because he wants to support you? I personally wouldn't take that to heart too much. I think it's a case of it being two things at once funerals aren't often planned so leave everyone with a bit of a scramble to get organised to be there but it doesn't mean that you wouldn't attend. I think it's just the nature of what's happened?

You're not wrong to be upset but it sounds like he's a pretty good guy so probably just used the wrong words.

I think you’re being a bit oversensitive. That’s entirely the sort of thing I might say if something disrupted the week I thought I had ahead. It’s just a clumsy, throwaway comment. He clearly knows that he should be there with you, I’d respond to his actions not his words.

I agree with this tbh. Without knowing his character I would say this sounds like an off the cuff comment someone might make to a friend. It doesn't sound like he was venting about it so much as summarising in a non emotive way.

His action has been supportive. His words less so. I guess it's what you want to put the emphasis on? I couldn't get too angry about it but I am not you.

I’d assume he was talking in an off-hand way because he didn’t want to get into a discussion about it with his friend. It’s clear from his actions that he is supporting you.

He was talking to someone else you don't know the tone of the chat

Men often don't want to appear soft to others..

His actions are the important thing.

He can support you and have his week screwed up. Both things are true and possible. Doesn't mean he doesn't support you fully.

He can support you and have his week screwed up. Both things are true and possible. Doesn't mean he doesn't support you fully.

This. There was no malice in his intentions, and his actions speak louder than words.

This exactly.

YABU - as you have asked in this topic - but perhaps it might not be the best topic to ask about feeling when you are bereaved.

Sounds like he has gone over and above, to support you.

I wouldn’t take it badly, no.

I think you are being a bit oversensitive. There was no malice or criticism of you or the funeral, just at the disruption it has caused to his calendar. It has ballsed up his week, just the same as a dentist appointment, airport pick up, or anything else would. I think he should have been more tactful about it with you in the room though.