Excuses not to attend a work Christmas party?

[Janedoe95]

I’m on Mat leave anyway and it’s about 2 hours away so I’m not interested in going far away from my breastfed baby… especially as I can’t even drink lol

but I need a reasonable excuse so that I still seem committed to my job.

I’m on Mat leave anyway and it’s about 2 hours away so I’m not interested in going far away from my breastfed baby

This ^^ is your reason. end of.

Saying your husband is working is a crappy excuse.

Young children were great for this. All I ever needed to say was "no babysitter" and it worked every time.

You should be able to just decline without embarrassment anyway. Nobody really gives a shit who is at the Christmas party.

Easy: tell her you don't feel safe mixing with colleagues who are drinking.

Breastfeeding your baby is as good an excuse as you're gonna get! Perfectly reasonable.

I just said ‘I’m sorry I’m not able to come but I hope you all have a great time’. You’re not obliged to go so don’t make it a ‘Thing’. Why would not going make you seem less committed to your job?

I always just say that I don't want to go

@determinedtomakethiswork
Thanks!
I'm in the office tomorrow and I'm going to say it! 😂

Toxic colleague: are you coming to the xmas party?
Camper: are you going?
Toxic: yes
Camper: no, then.

"Sorry I can't make it"

Don't fuck around with excuses.

I agree that this should be enough. I used to work with a headteacher who always got angry with me when I said I couldn't attend a night out. She insisted on knowing why so I had to have an excuse ready. Luckily I now work with more understanding people.

it’s about 2 hours away so I’m not interested in going far away from my breastfed baby

Best excuse in the world. And you don't even have to lie!

There is a huge sense of freedom that comes with accepting that you can just say no without giving excuses. I hate work dos. I used to give excuses, say I'd go then be ill at the last minute, have urgent crises or unexpected parental visits, all sorts. I'd spend weeks stressing and feeling anxious about it. Then one year I just said it wasn't my bag and thank you for the invite, but I wouldn't be going. Nobody went mad, nobody argued, nobody said I wasn't committed to my job, and it was never an issue. Nowadays my colleagues ask me in a 'we know you'll say no, but please know you're invited and welcome' kind of way, and I never go. It's fine, and I feel much more relaxed about it.

Ours has been cancelled through lack of interest and too costly.

In my old job, where I was employed for over 12 years I attended the grand total of one Christmas party. I hated it and I never went to another. They were always down south and involved staying overnight. They also had a daytime conference attached to them before the party at night and I still refused to go including the year I was on maternity leave. It's a party, you have a reason not to go (my reason was always 'I don't want to') so just don't go!

Indeed. "I don't want to go" would be my reason.

Hi OP.

Chances are they don’t expect you anyway, but rather giving you the opportunity to attend because it’s good practice to keep employees on mat leave feel included without putting any pressure to return on.

They will be happy just to have had an answer for number reasons.

Congrats on the bubba.

"I have another event that date / time so cannot attend."

Your reason is reasonable!

(Our receptionist this year said 'Not on my time or on my dime' as her reason for not attending and everyone accepted that! )

I think your reasons are very acceptable.
It is 2 hours away. I would consider going if it was closer.

Agree don't mention baby or any reason! Just sorry can't make it.

Agree with pp unfortunately society still hasn't realised women should be equal to men in the workplace. It's fucking depressing.

Agree with all PP.

I'm not on mat leave and I don't have a breastfed baby. I'm not going to mine. (Although nor is it the kind of place that not going would hurt your career, which I find bizarre in itself)

And as an aside you can still enjoy a drink while breastfeeding! (Unless the reason was that you'd have to drive)

Not providing excuses is a great life skill.

Just turn down the invitation.

If it’s an online form, tick the box that says you won’t be going. If you need to send someone an email or respond to someone in person, say “I will not be attending. Hope you have a great time at the party”. If someone asks you directly why you won’t be coming, say “It just didn’t work out. Hope you have a great time at the party”.

If you provide an excuse/reason, people switch into a problem solving mindset. But there is no problem, so no reason to provide an excuse or a reason.

You don't need an excuse.

I'm the "boss" in my organisation and I honestly couldn't care less if people don't come to our Christmas party. Some people like to socialise with work colleagues, others don't. And sometimes people just have other plans and commitments. It doesn't reflect in the slightest on the quality of their work either way, and I usually can't remember who turned up and who didn't.

Just tell them you can't go, they will understand.

On the plus side, they invited you... Unlike my work...