To ask if this is discrimination or not?

[Littlebitlostinspace]

I’m probably being unreasonable. Not sure so guess this is why I’m asking.

Around three months ago, I took a week off of work. I’d tried to kill myself. I was having a very bad time mentally because a lot of bad things had happened in quick succession. (Relationship breakup, friend died, and I lost a house Id been in an eight month chain for). I went back to work so quick as I was worried about my sickness record, I’d had a hysterectomy only seven months before and had a month off for that.

no sickness apart from those two incidents in two years.

Anyway, I took the week off. Sorted some support outside of work, started anti depressants, and also took some in work support of free counselling and occupation health.

Now three months on, I believe I’m doing better. No comments on my work and things seem to be smoother. I work in events and there’s an event coming up abroad, we can bid for trips. This trip is my specialism and only me and another bid for it. I’ve been told I haven’t got it by my manager as she is worried I’ll have a “mental health collapse” out there and no support. The trip is for 3 days? Is this discrimination?

My manager was supportive during my back to work process but she is very negative about mental health. Her reason being that she lost her young son to cancer and she feels life is precious so she’s always sort of had a negative undertone when anything mental health comes up.

I guess my AIBU is can they say I can’t go for this reason even though I feel absolutely fine?

That's ridiculous I'd speak to hr. Sorry you went through that xx

Three months ago is quite recent and I can understand your managers concern given the severity of your illness. I hope you are feeling much better now though.

Is a similar event likely to come up in the future which you could be considered for?

I think she's being very sensible . It's hardly like you had a mild meltdown is it , trying to kill yourself is as bad as it gets . Sending you abroad with uncertainty and possibly having similar issues far from home with no support sounds irresponsible tbh .
As hard as it is I think she's right .

3 months isn't very long, I think I would be really cautious as your manager too. Because if you did go and found it too much she might have failed in her duty of care to you.

I agree with your manager

I think you should do ask to her and GR for their take on it. Your employ as a duty of care, and it sounds like your manager is taking this seriously.

Ok thank you! I was prepared to be told I was being unreasonable, I guess I just felt personally ready for this trip and I felt a bit pushed out to not be considered based on a bad thing that happened

but I do understand.

thanks everyone.

I agree, I think your manager was just doing her duty of care.
She may be being over-cautious, though.
I think next time you want to bid on a trip, ask to have a private chat with her so you can let her know you would like to bid on a trip and ask if she has any concerns? That’s her chance to speak up and for you to say you have support in place or that you’ve bounced back you are feeling yourself again or that the trip would be good for you mentally as you are an adventurous person…
Anyway, you can give her the warm fuzzy so she doesn’t reject your bid again in future.

I've only known one person who genuinely tried to kill themselves. They were understandably in a very bad place for months afterwards and the therapy was quite full on, with lots of safe guarding measures in place for our friend. I think your manager is doing the right thing. 3 months is no time at all.