Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel hurt?

5 replies

Create10 · 21/11/2022 00:15

I was talking to my sister last weekend and what she said has been playing on my mind.

She has a just turned three year old DD who I absolutely adore. We always have a great Christmas - me, DS, her DP and DD, and our DPs. We will be having dinner together as usual this year.

DS mentioned that she was thinking about getting our DPs a certain present and did I want to get it with her? I said I'd already bought their present. She then said 'well I'm only getting one present for everyone this year' (for me, and DPs). I said absolutely fair enough. We would usually exchange two or three, nothing anything of huge value though, it's more about the thought. One of my favourite parts of Christmas is seeing people opening the gifts I've bought them.

She then kept repeating 'all I'm interested in this year is DD. I'm not bothered about getting any presents from anyone else or giving them to anyone, all I care about is DD, and seeing DD's face'. I kept saying 'yeah absolutely, it's all about the kids'.

But she just didn't let it go. She repeated several times more 'the only thing I'm interested in on Christmas Day is DD, I don't care about anyone else'.

I've put thought into her present and already purchased it, and I felt a bit shit being told she didn't give a toss. I think I'm being a bit sensitive though because I'm single and childfree (by choice largely), but I did have a miscarriage four christmases ago and it was quite traumatic and I always fight anxiety and what almost feels like grief at Christmas and the run up to it, and it felt shit listening to her continuously repeat that Christmas was only about DN with the basic point that the adult's gift exchange/experience was pointless now that she has her DD.

I absolutely adore my niece and can't wait to see her at Christmas, but AIBU to feel hurt by DS's comments?

Just to be clear, I don't think she's at all unreasonable for feeling as she does - that the excitement now all lies with DN - but it was just how she kept repeating it basically made me feel like Christmas is pointless for me because I don't have kids.

OP posts:
Maves · 21/11/2022 00:38

She's spitting her dummy out because you didn't want to get the present she needs to grow the fuck up of course Xmas isn't just about kids! Tell her you'll take her gift back then if it's just about kids. She's been fucking insensitive comments

Obki · 21/11/2022 01:06

Your sister is being very thoughtless and mean. And I agree with Maves.

I’d file away her behaviour and note how she treats you.

I wonder if she has got you a present or if she’s only got one for her DP, DD and parents.

Chattycathydoll · 21/11/2022 01:11

Could it be that she’s struggling with money? They emphasis being to compensate and to give you a reason for why she might not be able to afford presents for you and that’s why she had to club together with you for DP present?

Create10 · 21/11/2022 01:12

Obki · 21/11/2022 01:06

Your sister is being very thoughtless and mean. And I agree with Maves.

I’d file away her behaviour and note how she treats you.

I wonder if she has got you a present or if she’s only got one for her DP, DD and parents.

She definitely will have me one.

It's not the presents that bothered me, I don't care what she's got me. I can't seem to put my finger on what upset me.

OP posts:
Obki · 21/11/2022 01:14

Create10 · 21/11/2022 01:12

She definitely will have me one.

It's not the presents that bothered me, I don't care what she's got me. I can't seem to put my finger on what upset me.

Repeatedly telling someone I don’t care about getting you a present or getting one back from you is upsetting. She’s worded it terribly.

If she doesn’t want to exchange presents then she should be an adult and just say it clearly.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page