Do kids ever play in their bedrooms?

[Hdiw747]

In our current house, my kid (age 5) never spends any time in their room despite it being nice and cozy. We are moving into a flat that has two floors and their bedroom will be even bigger - 3×6 meters.

As it's a flat and we'll have neighbors below us, I was hoping that DC would start spending a bit more time in their room rather than the living room which would be directly above our neighbors.

Am I being totally unrealistic that kids that age would actually spend time playing with toys in their room? I would happily hangout there with them. My kid loves to play with toys, sometimes drops them, the usual kid stuff but it would be so much easier if they did it in their room on 2nd floor rather than in the main living room. Am I being totally unrealistic? Any tips?

ever since she dropped her naps around 3yo, we swapped the naps for quiet time in her bedroom to read or play
I have done exactly this with my DC. I started with 15 mins but easily it became 45 minutes or so.
I found the break invaluable for me, and they continue to enjoy their own company sometimes.

None of mine really disappeared off until teen years loomed and generally they were seeking privacy and space of their own. Young children are generally sociable rather than withdrawn.

My 9 year old does, and has since about 3 years old. But we live in a bungalow? Albeit quite a big one. She has a radio, and all her toys. We don’t keep toys in the sitting room, though of course she can and does bring something through to play with!

she loves Lego and Playmobil which she can spread out.

In my experience most young children just want to be where their parents/siblings are.

Only when it's 7 o'clock and time for bed.. then ds age 4 can happily spend an hour playing and talking to himself/toys before eventually taking himself back to bed... (it doesn't matter whether we keep him up later he seems to need the hour to chill below he can sleep)

I bring hope. Also bring the cardinal sin of not RTHT. But. My four year old plays in her bedroom ! Hallelujah!

It’s fairly large comfy room with one of those couches that make a really uncomfortable click-clack beds, and & I make sure to put all her toys back up there every night - apart from play kitchen etc and stuff that lives downstairs.

She gets up in morning and plays for a good m while on her own before coming to find me as ask me for breakfast etc

The older they get the more likely they are to be in their rooms. Ten onwards and you’ll rarely see them

Thank you. I guess it sounds rather unlikely at this age. Might try to put a sofa up there and use it as a playroom/bedroom

My 8 yr old does. Draws....plays with barbies etc. 10 yr old does too ....

Only when a friend is over, and then only for as long as it takes to dump every single toy on the floor plan

DD (5.5) will read/ draw in her room and sometimes play something quiet e.g. Sylvanian Families (particularly if I'm upstairs in our bedroom working), but for anything livelier prefers to be downstairs. Might be different if she had a sibling to amuse her, though.

I don't have any toys in bedrooms other than soft toys and books

Everything else is downstairs so it's not a sleeping distraction!!

My 5 year old has a very nice freshly decorated room but he won’t ever go in there on his own because there’s a monster living under his bed 🤷‍♀️.

No, my preschoolers never play in their room except for at bedtime. I wouldn't particularly want them to either. I mean, for 10 mins yes but not the whole time they're home.

I'm wondering why you're moving to a flat when it won't really work with a 5 year old? I totally get if it's your only option, but it does sound stressful having the restrict your child's movement for the sake of neighbours.

My children don’t have toys in their bedrooms; I doubt I’d manage to get them to sleep if they did!
They do sometimes go to their rooms if they have friends over and DD9 spends time in her room most days.

DS1 (11 yrs) is never in his room! Always downstairs with us although I fully expect this to change in the next year or so. He's never spent time in his room alone, prefers to be with us or out playing or roller blading.

DS2 (8 yrs) spends a lot of time in his room, constantly playing with Lego or drawing. He's in there for hours, sometimes we have to hunt him down!

At 10 & 13 I can’t get mine out of their bedrooms! 13yr old would prefer to eat up there if he could!

Mine is 2.5 and does but not for long. But when he has been in there for long i know 9/10 times hes jumping on the bed

Both do. Nearly 6 y o will get a box of construction type bits from playroom downstairs, and take it to their bedroom and sit fiddling with a model for quite a while. 3 y o has a set of little drawers and will faff about putting "precious" items in them, plus various role plays eg teddy bears in school etc

Mine play up in their room together a lot. But I’ve put all their Lego there and it’s not allowed downstairs so I think that helps. Have you tried audio stories? Mine will happily stay up there for hours with a good audio story while they play

DD(8) has started going upstairs to read/dance/sing every now and then. She hasn't got a huge room but not a bad amount of space. She doesn't play up there, but she doesn't really play anywhere anymore! Downstairs she reads, does art, uses various screens, etc.

DS(4) has a tiny bedroom so there's nowhere for him to play really. Every so often he goes into DD's room to play with the building blocks or something (she doesn't mind, yet!), but otherwise he plays in the living room all the time.

My older two are 5 and 6 and they always do but I don't keep toys in the living room. The sheet amount of toys they have would overwhelm it. My dh also wfh so baby and I usually play upstairs. I have a sofa in my bedroom and seating in both the older kids bedrooms so they will happily potter about as I'm close by.

Is a flat the right choice for you if you already know your new neighbours are noise conscious? I'd look at making sure the living room is insulated well.

Yes, my 10 & 11 y olds play in their own or in each others rooms and have done since they were tiny. When friends come over to play they mainly stay in the dining room but do occasionally go into bedrooms.

I completely agree. For mine, they started spending more time in their rooms as they got nearer secondary age. But at primary, they played a lot downstairs and would bring boxes of toys down often. They would play upstairs with their siblings, but not on their own. The 14 year old still spends a lot of time downstairs and often brings boxes of lego down- he likes the company of other people so being on his own doesn’t suit him at all, whereas the other two seem quite happy on their own in their rooms doing their hobbies or watching tv.

Yep. 3yo has quiet time for about 90 mins (depending on the day) since she dropped her nap early this year. Has a gifted yoto player for audiobooks, real books, a few dress up costumes and a few open ended toys (plastic and cuddly animals, duplo etc). I swap toys and books around every few weeks. Recently she's been making a little nest with her quilt and putting all her cuddly toys and dolls in it 😊 I keep an eye on her via the monitor and get some time to myself for a quick break and then some tidying etc. Some days it goes well and she doesn't call me at all, others I'm up there 5 or 6 times to get her to the bathroom, help with a costume or just asked if rest time is over yet (she knows there's a timer in her room but some days asks anyway). Amazingly she can't quite open the stiff door handle yet!
I expect to maintain this as long as feasible. We all benefit from a little time apart, and she does her best independent play during that time. Once she learns to read I think it may become focused around that.
Outside of quiet time we're in the living room, garden or out somewhere