I need guidance and courage

[Helpstar]

I am so upset. I have been in a relationship with a separated man for 4 years. He has 2 children from the marriage and we have one together. But things are so awful between us. He calls me names, thick, retard, face like a slug was a new one today and fat bitch he tells me he can’t trust me…. Never given him any reason to not, his wife had affairs I haven’t. I am totally broken. My daughter is 16 months. I know I need to leave this hell but I need encouragement …… how can I hold down my job, and look after her properly and pay for everything myself. Im in a real mess. His mother is also awful to me and dosent recognise my child …… I don’t know how I got this so wrong.

his wife had affairs I haven’t
£50 says she didn't either.

This man is a vile abusive piece of shit, he's probably lied about you to his mum, lied about his ex to you, and lied about everything else besides.

Ring Women's Aid, see if they can help you make a list of what you need to do to get from where you are to where you need to be to leave him.

It took courage to post this. You need courage because you are being abused.

There is no excuse for ever speaking to another person using such disgusting dehumanising language. None. It is unforgivable, and calculated to destroy you.

You cannot allow your child to grow up with this modelled as how they can expect to be treated. Your other worries can be addressed one at a time and with support, including as PP said, from Women's Aid. Your first responsibility is to get your child and yourself out from under this appalling man.

Hugs. You can do this.

You need to leave this piece of shit. You are worth so much more. It will all find a way of working out, you need to be safe away from this scumbag

I'm so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Please don’t let him make you doubt your ability to cope on your own. He sounds very narcissistic and his mum is probably one too. You weren’t to know, these people are normally very charming to start with. If you rid yourself of this person, you open yourself up to happiness just remember that. It’s going to be hard but don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do it because you can.

Guidance and courage - you have these in yourself, OP , and you know what you need to do - they're the qualities in you that brought you to seek support here for the next stage. We've got your back.