To not want to share a bed with my husband?

[FebMama]

Currently almost 29 weeks pregnant.
We are lucky to have a spare bedroom with a double bed and for the last two nights I've slept in there on my own. Needless to say, I've slept wonderfully.

I do enjoy sleeping with my husband as he often likes to cuddle which is nice. But he's also very restless, fidgets a lot, takes up so much room and he also sleep talks (mainly about work). He more often than not, disrupts my sleep.

When I sleep alone, I sleep solidly. I wake up feeling rested and in such a better mood mentally and emotionally. I also feel that he sleeps better when he's alone too! I mean who doesn't when they've got the bed to themselves?

DH has told me he understands why I've gone into the spare room but I can't help but feel a tad guilty as I don't want him thinking I want to be away from him and every night and it's a personal thing. I just find that sleeping together and having a cuddle is quite an affectionate time together and given we're not enjoying much sexual activity together right now plus not sleeping together at night, I just wonder if I'm putting a barrier between us (unintentionally) and I should just sleep apart from him a few nights a week rather than every night now.

When baby comes in a few months time, I'll be permanently set up in that spare room with the baby for when DH goes to work and I'll be the one doing all of the night wakes too. So we're going to be sleeping apart for the best part of next year as well.

What does everyone think?

YABU - you should make the effort to sleep together now before baby arrives
YANBU - sleeping apart is the way forward, carry on!

We sleep apart too. We both snore. He’s a curtains closed person. I like curtains open as the natural light helps me wake up better. I thrash around in my sleep and have insomnia. He talks in his sleep. I am an early bird, he is a night owl.

It’s hard though as many houses have that big master bedroom and en-suite and then poky other bedroom(s). I wish they actually didn’t assume all couples sleep in the same bedroom & bed when they design and build homes. It will make downsizing in retirement a bit tricky.

I think you need to be careful it doesn't become habit.

Why? Absolutely no reason for a loving couple to feel obliged to share the same bed !

Some prefer to sleep toge

Grr. Some like sleeping together, others prefer separate rooms. It doesn't mean a breakdown of the marriage if it's by mutual agreement!

Nonsense.

It's fine to have separate bedsrooms for sleeping in, OP, I reckon it's the secret of many a long and happy marriage if you've got different habits or either of you snores or fidgets.
You can get together for a cuddle at bedtime and/or in the morning. Or in the middle of the night if you're really needing one. (I highly recommend an electric blanket so you don't have to go back to a cold bed)

We've slept apart for years (married 34 years!) so what if it's a 'habit' .... it's a very good habit in my opinion . We don't disturb each other, if I want to read or Mumsnet I can ... we like to sleep in different temperatures... get up at different times etc. I loathe sharing a bedroom.

I sleep better on my own too but I would try to have some nights together before the baby is born for a cuddle just to avoid creating a barrier between you that is hard to break down.

There is NO BARRIER. Jesus Christ, if your husband will decide to leave you, he'll do it even if you sleep on top of him. When baby comes -

When baby comes - IT'S NATURAL AND ABSOLUTELY FINE to have less sex, less intimacy, etc. There is nothing to do with the same bed, believe me.

Sorry I didn't catch up with the recent replies on this thread!

Thank you all for your thoughts. Really interesting what the general consensus seems to be. I do think that people are absolutely right, intimacy doesn't necessarily have to be limited to being in a bed and intimacy can be shown in other ways. In fact, perhaps I was overthinking this and if anything, I've noticed my DH being more physically affectionate by way of random hugs throughout the day and spontaneous kisses when I'm not expecting it. More so than he usually would. Perhaps given our opportunity is now limited in bed? Who knows.

Either way, I'm feeling loads better about the situation and both DH and I actually feel better for it this week. Amazing what a good nights sleep can do! Better make the most of it before baby arrives!

I start off with my DH but invariably transfer to the spare room when I use the loo at 1am. Because I start with him, it doesn’t feel horrible, we get the affection/cuddles etc then a good night’s sleep.