To feel so lonely?

[Lonely091]

I've had such a rough couple of years. Diagnosed with 2 autoimmune diseases, made redundant from a job I had been in years. Then had to quit another one due to bullying. Dog of 12 years died as did a friend.
I'm single, no friends and my life is working in a care home part time, household chores and sleeping. I've tried to join groups but they have all been cliquey. I'm also very anxious which doesn't help.
I feel so very lonely. Nobody checks in on me and I feel I get used when people are having their own rough time but when they are feeling better, they move on to better people. I have little in common with people my age (late 30's) as they are mainly married with kids or in glittering careers.
My siblings are both married and send me photos of their fun weekends and it just makes me feel so very sad.
I feel like that Eleanor Oliphant character but even she had someone who was a friend to her. I'm just boring, and an object of people's pity.
No real aibu just wanted to talk to someone.

I have a husband and 2 children and I still feel like this often. My only friend is my mum. All my life anytime I have managed to find a friend they drop me as soon as they find better people.
I wish I could give you tips to make to help or make it better, but I havent managed to find any yet, just wanted you to know you are not alone OP. 💐

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I went through a period of feeling lonely when I was single and lived alone. It can be absolutely crippling. I always used to feel it even more at this time of year.

I'm not sure I have any big words of wisdom but didn't want to read and run.

Do you have anything near you where you could join an activity to keep you busy, rather than joining cliquey clubs? As an example, we have a local painting group and the people who go are different all the time so no little cliques and you get to meet some really interesting people while learning a new hobby.

At the risk of sounding trite - what you need are hobbies where socialising is a bi-product of the main event. So, you don't have to be 'on show' and think of small talk etc - you just turn up. In due course, they may turn into more social activities as well.

An example from my own life is church bell ringing (no particular church attendance is required.) It is a technical skill that takes years to master. It takes place a couple of times a week. You turn up each time, and leave at the end.

There is no need to get anxious, as some people can do, in less structured settings.

Others would perhaps join a choir - but then, if church, that tends to include the religious element.

Or, have you thought about being a school governor or charity trustee. Again these things mean there are events in the calendar, and you are being useful.

They can have a social spin off, but that is not the main function

Sorry to hear this. Is there anyone at work you get along with? Could you see if they fancied a coffee before or after work?