To not even be allowed a secret cream cheese bagel

[Thosetwoguysareatillonsundaybrunch]

Week from hell.

Dd, 4’s school striking so I’m been off with her all week, adore the bones of her but she’s v v active, v extra and hard work at the moment. Tv and internet both went bust got a few days, so trying to entertain her for 12 hr days, heavy cold and kidney stones.
My days basically involved being shouted up at 6.30 am, entertaining/controlling Dd until around 6, when I’d made dinner, washed up and gone upstairs for an hr break (Dd with Dh) until putting her to bed and falling asleep around 10-cue to all start again in the morning.
Yesterday did the food shop and took Dd out to the park, Dh had 6 hours at home to himself, he hoovered and brought in one pile of washing. He met a friend for a beer, listened to music, went to the beach and lay watching tv. I came home, unpacked the food and made dinner.
Yesterday I got upset to Dh about how difficult Dd has been lately and how I need one second alone as I feel like I’m going nuts with no space ever. He said he’d take her for a dog walk today (the maximum for this is around 50 minutes!) I asked please could he then take her somewhere else as everyone needs time alone and I gave that to him yesterday. I don’t even want to go out, meet anyone etc, just to literally be alone, sat at home, maybe read a book, listen to some music.
He took them for the dog walk and I got up and made myself a treat coffee and bagels with cream cheese and salmon (which I’d hidden as I’d never get any) they came back, complained about the bagels, why didn’t they get any and how I’m sat here eating them relaxing and don’t seem to be making any effort to go out as promised.
Aibu to be completely pissed off and to need/want just a bit of space on my own. Are my feelings normal after this week (and most weeks tbf) or am I over sensitive? I’ve always needed alone time but obviously don’t get it now, but my head may explode if not 🤯

*Ive been off with her all week

*For a few days 🙈need an edit button

You’re not being unreasonable and your DH needs to step up and help you carve out some time alone, he’s being a bellend but hopefully just didn’t realise that you were quite so close to the end of your tether. Ask him again for some time alone, see if he can take her somewhere for the afternoon or if you’d like you could take the dog to a local cafe and have some peace with a coffee and your book there. X

YANBU to need and ask for alone time of a half day or so.
However, you both seem to be a in a pattern where you get upset/pissed off before saying something to each other. And it’s not good that you blamed your DD by saying she is “difficult” and you’re going “nuts.”

Sit down and have a calm discussion about schedules and put in place regular alone time for the two of you. Also, please don’t make this into a “difficult child” conversation. It’s perfectly normal for a 4yr old to need constant childminding when they are at home plus constant interaction when they are an only child.

@Onnabugeisha Yes, I know that, I’m not blaming her, but she is particularly extremely hard work at the moment and we both need to split time between us at the moment for the other to get a break. We haven’t generally done that in the past.

Oh..and I’m making a roast today, not being martyr..ish, it was my plan to do it quietly whilst they were out for them to come back to.

YA defintiely NBU.

Tell him to take her to the park, to a Christmas market, swimming or something. Kids 24/7 would drive me nuts

@Badgirlriri Its been so hard with no let up or any other form of entertaining everyday

Great to hear you don’t think she is difficult, just that it is difficult.

They are hard work at 4, and you absolutely need to split time more fairly as it’s full on parenting.

I’d put my coat on. Tell dh the stuff for a roast is in the fridge.
go out and not come back until 6.

genuinely I would. If he’s not going to give you that time you take it

Go upstairs shut the door and leave them to it.

Dh can make dinner

Maybe they can go out to this thing called 'A Shop' and buy some more bagels. Radical idea but it might just work.

Your daughter hasn’t attended school for the last week. Why is she refusing school? Have you asked the school about ideas to improve her attendance? Each day you let her stay home, she learns she doesn’t have to do things she doesn’t want to do. She loses important instructional time, and misses the social skills to make friends. Finally, having her in school 9-3 s woukd give you a break.

@Ericaequites ??

There are strikes at the school…teachers strikes

So they came back this morning, I made lunch, Dh played with Dd, told her to get ready at 1, said he was nipping out and still not back, so no real break at all. He’ll take her out when back but will be for a couple of hours so completely different what I did yesterday and no proper break for me at all, so angry and upset that I expressed how I’d been feeling lately and how I really just needed time alone, so selfish,

What on earth are you going on about!

I had thought your daughter refused to attend school, not that teachers and support staff were on strike.