Am I really that bad?

[coffeewithmilk]

MIL lives in a different country, usually spends Christmas with her siblings and their family.
First Christmas this year with our baby, wanted it to be just us as a new family to start traditions etc
MIL brazenly said on the phone the other night that she will be coming and spending Christmas with us, no consideration for what WE wanted to do, she will come and stay in our house and have the day with us as a family

AIBU for thinking this is incredibly rude to impose yourself on your son's family and have no consideration for what plans we might have had.
(For context she is absolutely mental and we don't really get on that well, she doesn't even get on that well with her son.. so it's not even going to be enjoyable having her here)

What does your DH think?

@custardbear he says it's putting him in a very awkward position. He doesn't really want her here either but feels it's unfair to say she can't come

"MIL, we'd love you to visit but this is our first Christmas with LO and we'd like to spend it with just us and baby. How about coming on x date instead?" And stick to your guns.

Isn't it unfair to you to stop you having the Christmas you want for your family, with your baby for the first time? Why do husband's get so concerned about pleasing mother at the expense of their wife?

This. You have to set boundaries now or it will be a yearly/every time she fancies it thing. Your husband needs to deal with this now. Definitely give her another date and stick to your boundary's hard.

Tell her you are going away?

This

How would telling what is presumblu an obvious and silly lie help? What a strange suggestion

Your DH is going to have to have a firm conversation along the lines the suggestion above

Tell her you already have plans for Christmas eve and day and that the new year would suit.

Put your foot down now or she will control every Christmas from here on in.

Just say no. And if she turns up anyway, tough shit for her having to find somewhere to stay short notice.

It’s the only way she’ll learn 🤷‍♀️

She will come every Xmas if you don’t say no now.