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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if this comment was inappropriate or not?

5 replies

Zebrasz · 19/11/2022 20:49

Just thinking of male bosses I've had over the years, following the thread about wildly inappropriate situations.

I told on there how at 22, my male boss in his 40s, used to tell me in the middle of work how my hair looked amazing, I was very pretty, looked great etc.

Looking back I should've reported it, but he then went off work indefinitely with a nervous breakdown.

At 26 I worked briefly in a café whilst waiting to start uni. I was responsible for preparing food, and had a male boss in his 50s. One day he was unhappy with the way I'd peeled or cut some veg I think. He said to me, "Didn't your mother ever show you how to do this?"
I told my Mum and she was annoyed, and found it patronising and sexist. Do you think it was?

I also had a very young male form tutor when I was in 6th form, we all fancied him.
We had an awards ceremony one day, and he described me as 'unbelievably nice and incredibly stylish" which raised a few comments amongst my friends, but maybe he was just being nice.
I also worked in a newsagents at that time. He came in one day and made brief conversation. When he left, my colleagues said, "I think he likes you." He would've been around 30.
Not sure if these things were inappropriate or just me overthinking? When I was younger I had zero confidence in dealing with anything from men

OP posts:
Zebrasz · 19/11/2022 20:54

Recently I did some supply work in a new school. A male teacher I met for the first time called me beautiful :/ in the middle of school. Not really appropriate

OP posts:
Tyrantosaurus · 19/11/2022 20:56

Not sure about the others but there's literally nothing wrong with the last two. Here is zero reason to believe that the teacher liked you, just because you fancied him. He was young and being friendly!

And then shopkeeper is nice to you- so somehow he's inappropriate based on your friends comment?

Male boss seemed to be trying it on.

vcameob · 19/11/2022 20:57

I'm confused, was your very young form tutor also the 30 year old who came into the shop?

Hankunamatata · 19/11/2022 21:02

First example is yuck. Second two absolutely fine.

BlueLabel · 19/11/2022 21:03

Are you the same poster from the threads last week about compliments from men, namely your friends husband?

It's really down to you to say, based on tone, content, body language, context etc

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