To not really want to talk to DH whilst he drives home from work?

[CatGrins]

He only works about 15 minutes drive away but he calls me every day, sometimes it's useful to ask if we need anything from the shop but then he keeps talking until he either gets home/to the supermarket.

Am I mean to wonder why can't it wait until he gets home? Some days I'm working myself but even if I'm not, I'm usually doing something or watching TV etc.

He thinks it's nice to chat, tell me about his day, ask me about mine and it is, but not on the phone. AIBU?

I'd stop answering the phone.

I’d find this annoying too but I’m not a phone person.

My ex used to do this. That and phone me to offer me a lift home at 5pm then expect to be chatting on the phone with me while he got ready to leave to meet me - for the next 20 minutes!

He just could not fathom that as I was paid until 5pm that they kind of expected me to work until 5pm...

Omg I thought it was just me!

That would drive me potty

Some men do this. Like you're on demand entertainment. That's what the radio in the car is for. Don't answer the phone. You may need to invent something you've been listening to, though, as if you say why he'll go into hurt mode.

Ah YABU he just wants to chat to his wife after a work day

He can do that when he gets home.

That would drive me mad. My dh often phones to tell me something i assume will be urgent but could easily wait until evening, when it would be more fun to talk about as we could both give it full attention. He just likes company.

Stop answering your phone. Or text and say cant talk just now, please get milk, etc.

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that this very thing contributed to my divorce. My ex would call me whenever they were driving and if I was not at work, I was expected to chat to them. It drove me mad, but all hell broke loose if I didn’t answer!

I'd not answer the phone. I hate talking on the phone to someone who is driving, I'd rather they concentrate on driving. It's different if I'm a passenger as I can see any situations which might need extra concentration from the driver, and will stop talking. He has all evening to talk to you once he is home.

I wouldn’t entertain this but I’d be kind when asking him not to.

Alternatively, you could always try it on him when he’s at home and you’re coming back from somewhere. You know, just drivel on about your day, whatever…sense the impatience in his responses and take it from there.

My ex did this and I actually banned the reception from putting his calls through in the end 😂

Just ask him to stop?

He wouldn't kick off but he would play the hurt card yes! I'm almost always at home when he gets I'm, he could talk to me then, especially since he repeats most of it when he sees me anyway.

I could just not answer but that feels mean.

Just pick up "Is it urgent ? I'm working" every time.

Not sure why he thinks you "ought" to be there at his beck and call when it suits him, and has no respect for your work ?

DD does this on her drive home, but she doesn’t live here so I love the catch up. If she still lived here it would be pointless.

Would he really play the hurt card, or would he be genuinely hurt?

It wouldn't bother me. I think it's nice that he wants to talk to you as presumably there are other people he could call. But if you don't like it just tell him. How kindly you tell him depends on whether you think he'll be genuinely upset or just pretending to make you feel guilty.

Put the phone on speaker and make use of the time. Sort laundry, start dinner prep, do some pilates …. He won’t have your undivided attention, but then you don’t have his.

I'm almost always at home when he gets I'm, he could talk to me then, especially since he repeats most of it when he sees me anyway.

Say this to him. He’s your husband, not a small child, he should be capable of basic reasoning.

Honestly unless there is a very particular purpose to the phone call, he shouldn't be chuntering on for 15 minutes while he is bloody driving. I would just tell him you would rather he concentrate on driving and chat when he gets home. The roads are full of idiots who can't drive in the dark, can't drive in the rain etc etc - he needs all his concentration.

my H used to do this. Used to drive me mad and I often didn’t enetertain in. We ended up drifting and are now separating. I wished I made handled that differently

My DD does this, she’s 19. It’s because she’s bored in the car by herself. She generally has nothing to say though so VERY dull. I normally claim a Zoom meeting after 5 minutes or so.

Omg DH does this!!! He's not sensitive about being cut off though, I'll usually just say "anyway I was just doing X" which he always accepts and says bye happily enough.

I find it very bizarre as I love solo driving, it's a time to blast tuneage not chat!

He's bored. I do this too because I'm so bored on the journey home