To not want to buy my sister a Christmas present

[Lullabies2Paralyze]

We’re both in our 30’s with children. I would rather just buy her child gifts and her do the same for mine.

she is awkward to buy for (never knows what she wants, takes ages to reply to messages, lives abroad so I can’t even get her an M&S voucher or something standard).

my mam is flying over to hers tomorrow and freaked out at me when I said “here’s Johns xmas presents” (child name changed). She asked where my present for sister was. I then explained what I’ve just said above but she didn’t seem pleased

my mam keeps trying to force us to have a closer relationship. I don’t see it happening. I stopped putting in the effort when it wasn’t reciprocated, and as she is older I now feel she should make more effort if she wants us to be close.

do you buy siblings xmas presents even as adults?
am I being unreasonable to not get her something? (I’m considering one of those charity gifts like gift a child an xmas dinner or something)

YABU - she is your sister, you should get gifts for each other no matter the age and whether said gift is actually wanted or ends up in charity shop

YANBU - you are both adults and as long as the kids have presents you don’t need to buy for each other if there’s nothing specific you want to gift them.

I sympathise OP and wish I could do this too, but likewise every time I bring it up (virtually every year) with my mother I get the cats arse face and made to feel like the tightest person in the universe. My nieces and nephews only want gift cards/money anyway and the rest of us just swap reciprocal blandness every year that nobody really wants or needs.

I wouldn't begrudge spending money on gifts that I knew would be appreciated and wanted, but the lip service boxticking is just so pointless it's infuriating.

Yes I do. None of us has partners, and our parents are long dead. If we didn't buy for each other we wouldn't get anything (I'll get something from my teens but obviously tight budget, only one of my sisters has a child and she is autistic and doesn't understand about gift giving).
But I am close to my siblings, even though we live in separate countries.