Boyfriends friend pushing boundaries

[PeppaBaconButty]

Hi all,

so I was laying in bed this morning with partner still asleep and his phone was in between us. I had that all too familiar women’s intuition that something wasn’t quite right so I did look. I was only looking at one persons conversation who I have pointed out to him clearly fancies him many times and
she had actually text him last night that she was popping into his work today (hospitality) saying “you get to see my face tomorrow ☺️“.

Now he didn’t respond to her flirtation in this text however he had told about the one little tiff we have had a few weeks back when I found out she was present at drinks he was at that he hadn’t told me about. I told him at the time I already felt uncomfortable about her and it was the fact he didn’t tell me which made me more anxious and not that she was there. Anyway he told her about this conversation in which she called me crazy and while he said he still loved me to her, he didn’t exactly shut her down.

Im very uncomfortable with her flirting and feeling comfortable enough to Bad mouth me to my own partner but AIBU to think it’s not enough that he doesn’t engage and this friendship in between the times she does this need to start being distanced? I feel very certain she is wanting to move in on him but I think he needs to actively shut it down rather than avoid it out of respect for me.

Did he tell you he had cut contact with her then? If he did he can't be trusted. You were snooping through his phone too, so l think you should split up. It seems to me that you just don't trust him.That's enough.

I don't think it's always reasonable to ask your partner not to have contact with someone just because they fancy them. Lots of people fancy lots of people. Now if this girl has made serious efforts to 'steal' your BF and he's told her to stop then that's different but if she enjoys he company and you suspect she fancies him (let's say she does) I don't think that's reason to ban her from your BFs life. I mean, did he go to say a bar to specifically meet her or is this somewhere where they both often go as part of a group?
Before you ask if I'd 'be fine' knowing somebody was after my boyfriend, then no but I accept that from time to time someone might fancy my OH and I'll be jealous. There will also be men who fancy me but not actively trying to take it any further. I think the fact that he's told her he loves you is way more significant than her saying you're crazy.

l think you should split up. It seems to me that you just don't trust him.That'sugh

Typo - should say 'That's enough'

Youll be on here complaining about him again soon enough. He has no loyalty and you have no boundaries.