To be upset at being left out after a last minute change of plans?

[BumblebeeStar]

I've been off work for the past couple of months, but recently received a text from a co worker inviting me on a night out to celebrate her birthday. Her and I aren't close (she hadn't long started in my department when I went off) but do make polite conversation and see each other fairly often at work. I felt quite happy to be asked along with a few other girls from work and said yes. I've since arranged a babysitter for DD.

A couple of days ago I messaged another coworker (also invited on night out) if she wanted to meet up at the train station as we live close to each other. She replied to say that plans had been changed as birthday girl had been unwell so was now possibly cancelled but if going ahead would be dinner and drinks in another town rather than party night that was originally planned. No worries, I messaged the birthday girl to say I'd heard she hadn't been well, hope she was feeling better etc and she said she'd let me know by Friday (yesterday) what the plans were.
So night out is tonight and I still haven't heard from her but I have now heard from another co-worker that the night out is going ahead and everyone else has been informed of the new plans.

So to me it sounds as if I am no longer invited, which tbh stung quite a bit and has upset me more than I'd like to admit. AIBU or childish to be upset by this? Should I message birthday girl or just leave it altogether?

I would think it's an oversight rather than jump to the conclusion you've been uninvited. Confirm plans with Co worker & have a great night out.

I thought it was an oversight a few days ago that I hadn't been told that plans had changed ...but that's twice now everyone else has been updated and I haven't 🤷‍♀️

They are probably talking about it in the office. I would just go and enjoy!

Could you text birthday girl and say you hadn’t heard about the new plans? I’m sure it’s an accident rather than a personal slight.

Message the other person and get the final arrangements from them. Have a good night.

I have now heard from another co-worker that the night out is going ahead and everyone else has been informed of the new plans

Ask this coworker the time/plan and just go! Birthday girl is probably busy.

Stop overthinking and have a good night out.

I would not take this personally. If she didn’t want you there, it would have been very easy to have not invited you in the first place. Sounds like an oversight.

Ring her. Messages get missed, people read them while busy, then forget to reply . (I know I'm often guilty of this).

But they were probably "updated" in person, at work. Nobody thought to text you you aren't at work, you haven't been for a while, you're not a friend of birthday girl....so its not odd that she didn't think of you.

You can choose to sulk and brood about it or just find out the details and go and have fun.

Just send her a message, you're massively over-thinking a simple oversight.

Def go op!! You were originally invited. Likely updated plans via office chit chat. Text geh lass you were pre meeting with and ask the plans!
Hell if i had even a semi plan for a night out I would be prepping already!!

I'd just message her op. Something breezy just enquiring if it's still a larger group of you all out tonight to celebrate or if she's doing something quieter?

If you’re honest you probably only wanted to go so you could catch up with friends and not necessarily to celebrate her birthday, as you don’t know her very well. I’d bin it off and tell the Bday girl that you weren’t kept posted if she does ask.

Then organise your own thing, baby brunch, return to work drinks, or just catch up lunch or something. Invite those you’re close with and enjoy yourself.

This might feel personal but it really isn’t. She probably had a table with a limited number or possibly oversight. Try not to take it to heart, move on and hopefully the two of you may actually become friends over time. In the meantime either cancel babysitter or better yet, make other plans and enjoy a night off

If you really want to go and there’s others going they you are closer to then the birthday girl then go….otherwise cancel babysitter, text them to say you’re not going and politely why you aren’t going then have a nice night at home and wake up hangover free 😊

Can see why you’re pissed off about this, but you aren’t close, so perhaps try to shrug it off. I wouldn’t message her again.

It's obviously an oversight, as you (literally) aren't in their sight if you are off work.
Just message to check the details and stop overthinking it.
You've got the babysitter and are all ready, why wouldn't you go ?

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get the details

Do you still work there?

Just go and enjoy.

Have you been off work sick? Some people can be funny about people being well enough to going on a night out if they’re off work ill and others are doing their share of the work.
If not it’s probably just a miscommunication

Could it be an oversight? Do they all use a social media that you don't so they've just put it on the (example) Facebook thread and forgotten to text you?

Definitely go. This happened on Thursday to us. The organiser thought she'd invited everyone but we forgot to say anything to 'Sam' - complete oversight and mistake. He found out and came along anyway as he knew it was a mistake. We all had a great time

I also wondered if your being off could be a factor (only if off sick that is). Otherwise probably an oversight