How did you overcome jealousy?

[Daria31]

I think it's something I constantly work on, and it's a question of confidence.
I see awful stories on here and have known some in real life. I had a female colleague whose partner smashed up her phone because she dared to go somewhere with a female friend without him.
People who've been forced to delete/block every opposite sex person on social media.
Accused of looking at the opposite sex and told they can't wear X clothing or work in X place as they will attract the opposite sex.
Of course these are incredibly controlling and abusive examples, these people should not be in relationships until they've sought help.

I remember when I first got with my partner he talked a lot about his ex, I mean daily. So I did feel uncomfortable about that, wondered if he wasn't over her, and asked him about it. Now he does mention her from time to time but I feel completely comfortable with it and don't mind talking about it.

I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable when he was alone at a gig with a girl he'd only met that day, and one or the other invited them to this gig. He also invited me later on. He hadn't done anything wrong, but I came across as uncomfortable in my body language. It had just been strange to see I suppose, even if I knew he wouldn't do anything. If it were an old friend I'd not have bothered at all.

A time when a female started texting him all the time, I knew it was his friend and it had been fine before but she then became a lot more involved. I suppose it did make me wonder if she liked him even though I knew he wouldn't do anything, when I saw her name come up I'd roll my eyes a bit and he picked up on this. We talked about it and he assured me she wasn't interested, and was like that with other men so afterwards I felt completely relaxed about it and tried to spend more time with her.

Just stuff like that. Not trying to excuse the above examples, and I'd hate to think I would lose him due to jealousy. I have worked on it a lot.
Last night he was out with a female friend and another guy until 4am and I just didn't care at all. He went to a festival with another female and a guy and same again I didn't care. He invited me too.

I don't care who he messages, I was just uncomfortable as that previous woman seemed to be constant but she doesn't seem to be anymore.

I'm still trying to work on my confidence. I know he's going to find women attractive including some of his friends, but as he loves me he wouldn't dream of trying anything. Same as me really.
I don't have many straight male friends, not by choice but they just don't seem to be interested, they didn't reply to my messages or made excuses.
Anyway I'm starting to feel more confident and relaxed as it must be horrible for the other person to feel that someone is mistrusting. I know he will admire other women but he's choosing to be with me.
If he or anyone else does cheat then it's their loss and nothing I could have done to stop it.
Just wondered if anyone else has managed to overcome this and any tips they have. Sorry that was long.

I was incredibly jealous in my twenties. It's a horrible feeling - constantly worrying about my bf being unfaithful to to me, second guessing everything. I used to send myself quite mad with the scenarios I could easily come up with on my head. Then my mum told me that if someone is going to cheat on you, they will, regardless of whether I was jealous or not and it was like a switch had flicked. I realised that it was completely destructive and pointless. Someone cheating is all about them.

I think it depends on so much.

The only times I was ever jealous was whennthere was a real reason for it, all to do with the signs I'd been given by my then-partners. And I was right to be jealous every time.

The first, I was fine with him seeing his female friend for months and then something in him changed and I started becoming jealous whenever they went out. He cheated on me with her during that time that I sensed a change.

The second, left his ex for me, saw her again a few times. Later on confessed he still loved her.

The third, swears blind to this day that nothing ever happened between him and his ex/ now BFF, but also told me that they both would still happily sleep with each other "if they were single". Hour-long phone calls between them, meet-ups and sleepovers without me. They weren't over each other and I didn't stay to find out whether he had stayed faithful or strayed, or would have, given the opportunity, in the future.

What I'm trying to say is that if this isn't normally you, then something may well be off.