Where do you find a balance between being overly passive and accommodating with being controlling?

[Daria31]

In relationships mainly.
Last night I heard a couple arguing about the man drinking and smoking. The woman was basically saying, if you drink and smoke again, I won't be going to the party with you.

Another couple where the man was in the pub and he left around 9pm saying he's not 'allowed out too late' I mean that could've been tongue in cheek.

Or say if your partner went out until 6am a few nights in a week are you controlling or jealous if you say you're not happy with it?

Imagine your partner had a new supermodel colleague that started texting him all the time, day and night. Would you feel even a twinge of jealousy? Would you just not care one bit or would you expect him not to?

Just sometimes don't know where to draw the line.

It’s hard isn’t it, many years ago women met their DH’s out of work on pay day to get some money before he went to the pub, else rent and food wouldn’t be paid. That would be seen as controlling these days.

That's a very good point.
One person's controlling is probably another person's relaxed, too.