To feel like I'm not cut out for work?

[mashh]

I have had 4 jobs in the past:

• job 1 - left for better job
• job 2 - left for level transfer in same company, as I moved to my home city over summer
• job 3 - left to transfer back to 2nd job at university city

But I never did return to the 2nd job. There were delays with transfer paperwork between the stores and like I stopped caring. I could have been more proactive with calling both stores to get my shifts sorted, but just carried on being a full time student and didn't get in touch with the store.

Job 2 annoyed me because although I was constantly given good feedback, the store was understaffed and development opportunities were rare. I was working at a high standard.

Job 3 annoyed me because the staff treated me like I was new instead of experienced so it was like starting from the bottom although I was capable of more.

Job 4 is my current role and I've been here for 2 years and feel exhausted with the office politics. Feel a bit like history is repeating itself and would love to hand in my notice but I'm an adult with bills. I just find it tiring. It's a different industry but has the same issues with understaffing and me performing at a high level but being passed aside for development opportunities.

what kind of development opportunities are you looking for?

Does your work know you're interested in moving up?

Are you doing a job below your capabilities? If you've worked in retail and fallen into something else in the service sector could it be that you haven't found your calling? What transferable skills could you use elsewhere?

I wouldn't say you're not cut out for work, you do sound dissatisfied though.

Not cut out for work? What an odd phrase. I absolutely love my job, it's hard work but I love it and it pays very well. I also get to wfh. You need to find something you absolutely love. Unless you are incredibly wealthy and can support yourself you're going to have to work obviously 😀

Are you still a student? So doing jobs that are just for cash? Or are you working full time now?

It can take a while to find a job you really love. It sounds like you've worked in retail and an office, but what sort of field? What was your degree in? What would be a job you actually liked? Forest ranger? Social worker? Actor? Lifeguard? Lawyer? Boat builder?

I work in a healthcare job - certainly no respite from understaffing there 😄 but the politics are broken up because we're on our feet out on the wards all day. I have colleagues who work in people's homes most of the time. There are ways to find work you like.

How on earth do you expect to live?
You may not like working, but you need to do it. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to support your life choices because ‘you’re not cut out for work’ 😆

How old are you?

I don't think it's possible for everyone to find a job they love. For some the best you can do is find the least worse job for your mental health and practice a lot of self care.

Why are you being selfish passed aside for development opportunities? It sounds like it might be your attitude that's the problem rather than these workplaces.

You might be great at your job but if you're not great with colleagues you won't progress.

I think this is true. Get a tolerable job to pay the bills and focus on life outside work.

I've had lots of different jobs from high powered career jobs to retail and office admin. I definitely prefer more basic jobs but I'd drop any job like a hot brick given a choice. I've never felt 'fulfilled' at work or enjoyed work. It's always been something I do for the money.

Best years of my life were when I was a SAHM. But it couldn't last forever.

We had this discussion at a mum's lunch a few years ago. Out of 12 of us, 4 found their jobs fulfilling and wouldn't leave if they won the lottery (Probation Officer, Senior Nurse and 2 Teaching Assistants). The rest couldn't wait to leave (a Lawyer, Teachers, Accountant, Managers of different types). But all would do voluntary work of choice rather than just potter.

How old are you?

What a strange way to phrase the fact you’re not enjoying your job. Most people don’t on some level but notwithstanding a lottery win, it’s a moot point.

Thanks all.

I'm 23 with a science degree, working in public sector now.

I wouldn't say it's an attitudinal problem. I work closely with different departments and have been given reward bonuses based on my work/work ethic. We're regularly understaffed so I have had to work through breaks/lunch/do overtime to support the business whilst taking on extra responsibilities without complaint etc. I socialise with colleagues outside of work too. I'm polite - don't see what more I can do in a attitude sense.

I think I'm reliable to my detriment almost. There are people in the office who in comparison aren't able to complete their normal work and do spend a lot of time chatting with mates/on their phones. Initially they were pulled up on this, but the manager since left. New manager doesn't care as they have become close friends and are given opportunities to develop whereas when I asked about development, there was a lot of umm-ing and ah-ing and "compliments" that they can't afford to lose me as they need me to do X.

Also I guess I do mean I'm not happy with my current job! I guess I phrased it that way as I do find work demoralising, like it's hard to switch off from

How many people do you know who do something they 'absolutely love'? Good for you that you love your job but for most people it just about earning money.

Sometimes letting go of the idea of finding a job you "absolutely love" is the better option when it isn't realistic for you. Nothing wrong with just working to live and seeking out happiness elsewhere.

I'd consider a sideways step into a department that actually appreciates you.

Contact your uni careers service? Most support uni grads for several years and may suggest somewhere more suitable?

You might not be suited to office work?

I don't think I am but I'm 45 now and stuck with it - don't make my mistake!

You're only 23 I wouldn't write you off yet as not cut out for work. Stick with it, keep trying.

One thing I learned in the public sector is don't take everything on and give up breaks, lunch etc. It doesn't (usually) help with any kind of promotion or development, it just makes you the one that they can pile more shit on.

Be more selective at what you take on. I'm not saying don't be helpful but learn when to say no. Put yourself forward for the opportunities you want, get to know the higher managers and make them aware that you want development/progression.

A lot of public sector is understaffed, that's for the managers to sort out, not you. Look at other departments, sideways moves etc. Sometimes you end up being so reliable that you fade into the background so a fresh start is needed.

The public sector is for rule followers, OP. If you go self-employed or set up a limited company you can have a self-directed career instead of a "job".
What people won't tell you is that most of the population don't like their jobs. Some of those people actively moan and bring everyone down. The other unhappy ones are quietly desperate and have no choice but to stay. Get loads of different skills under your belt including practical ones so that you can always get work and have choices. If you have the drive, get a trade under your belt as well. Good luck.

Where are you getting bonuses in the public sector?

I don’t think you’re not cut out for work, but it sounds like this is your first graduate job and it just doesn’t suit you, that could be about the work or about the particular combination of people. Doesn’t mean it’ll be the same everywhere. Are you looking outside your current organisation for development opportunities too?

You’ve got a science degree (what in?) - you probably only graduated within the last two years.
I’d look for a graduate position (most grad positions are available as long as you start within 3 years of graduating) or maybe an intern position at a company in the private sector - they push their graduates quite a lot and give them lots of responsibility- that may suit you better.

You also need to know what you are looking for/ what you want out if it before you can be happy

Good luck! 😊

Regarding job 3: at 23 you aren't experienced. I don't think you can expect to be treated like an experienced hire when you're in your third job at 23.

I'm not cut out for work either, unfortunately my kids insist on eating and having somewhere to live so hi ho, hi ho 🙄