I hate being pregnant

[jammydogers]

Name changed for this, I'm 13 weeks and in a constant state of denial, exhaustion and anxiety.

This baby is very much wanted, and planned. It's taken 9 years to get here after multiple miscarriages and heartbreak.

I thought I'd enjoy this as for the first time, everything is going well and I feel so guilty.

I haven't been to work for 7 weeks, sickness started at 6 and went away 2 weeks ago but the exhaustion is like nothing I've ever experienced.

My friends loved pregnancy, my Mum didn't get one bit of sickness or pain and loved being pregnant.

My sciatica is so bad that it's making me cry, I can't take my usual cocodamol for it, I'm so tired I can't make it through the day without a sleep. I then lay in bed at night with restless legs and anxiety. I don't fancy anything to eat other than fresh fruit.

The progesterone suppositories are horrendous, I've already got a big bloat/start of a bump and everyone is shocked I'm only 13 weeks.

Currently lying in bed with terrible earache, otex in my ear and cotton wool shoved in it, paracetamol isn't touching it.

I felt complete detachment at my scan and 6 months feels so so far away. I know I want the baby to be okay but I feel like I can't register in my mind that the baby is in my womb.

I'm already on citalopram 20mg for depression.

I needed to vent, doesn't help that DH is so excited which makes me feel so guilty and although he's sympathetic and lovely, I can't tell him the full extent of how miserable I feel.

I was so naive and thought that one day I would have a dream pregnancy and be in the baby bubble of buying things and dressing a bump.

You poor thing. Complete anecdata, but the women I know who had a difficult time conceiving their babies seemed to find the pregnancy and baby period difficult. Completely understandable to me, they had built it up in their minds for years as a perfect thing that would make them incredibly happy, but of course life doesn't work like that.

Don't be hard on yourself, pregnancies vary hugely and you're having a difficult one. Keep in touch with your GP and midwife and make sure you're getting all you can to alleviate the symptoms.

It's so nice to know I'm not alone but I also feel sorry for anyone else who's suffered!

I just want them here and safe, I don't like this part 😂

I'm 27 weeks with my second after miscarriage at new years. Both pregnancies have been really exciting, but I wouldn't say I enjoy being pregnant at all!!! I had HG, my feet hurt, and I always feel full all the time now. Only blessing is this bump is a lot lower than my first, so I haven't had the awful gastric reflux and heartburn I had with my girl. With her I stopped vomming about week 18 and immediately had to reach for the gaviscon!

Hold on OP, it'll be worth it!

Hi OP...I got pregnant with a wanted baby and had a relatively easy pregnancy and bloody hated every second of it. Everything about it. I cried every day. It only changed for me when I had a scare about 18 weeks after an accident and then I realised I didn't want to lose it...and then seeing the scan at 20 weeks, feeling it move etc. Even then though I was still a bit in denial, I organised a load of friends coming round on my due date, I didnt tell most people until it became so obvious I couldn't hide it, etc. Its ok to not be ok, it's a big change plus hormones and physical symptoms, but you're supposed to be all grateful and glowing. Hopefully you'll be over the worst of it soon.

Huge sympathy from me. I didn't have your issues with miscarriage and infertility, but I had borderline HG up until 20/21 weeks and then 6 weeks of relative comfort until the joints started hurting and the heartburn started up. Pregnancy can be so, so shit.

The fatigue in the first trimester is unreal. I was going to bed at 7 pm.

if it helps the first trimester is absolutely horrible, the worst. You’d think the third would be but no. That really sharp rise in hormones just messes with your body, I had hypermesis and finally found a medication to control it at 15 weeks. Couldn’t sleep or eat, got so pale and unwell looking. No energy and felt so down and ‘oh god is this a mistake’ etc.

BUT I find second trimester to be much better. my appetite has come back, I’m glowing a bit, got more energy (although not loads) and my mood has improved.

hang in there, a few weeks and I bet you’ll be noticeably improved 💐