Having a mental illness does not justify lying about having cancer..

[Ju1w]

I've been referred under the 2 week wait as I had an abnormal smear so I'm having a minor surgical procedure next week, I'm quite stressed about it.

My relative has a history of talking complete bollocks, I just roll my eyes at most of it.

She does have a significant mental health problem so we're all guilty of letting alot of things slide that others wouldn't be so forgiving about.

Anyway, she's used this thing with me as an opportunity to seek attention. She was rambling on to my mother about how I'm going to be absolutely fine because she had bowel cancer so she "knows all about this stuff"

She has never had bowel cancer in her life, that is a complete lie.. also there's no suggestion I even have cancer right now.

She also sent me a text said she strongly recommends that I delay my procedure.. for no reason whatsoever. Imagine if I followed her advice.

I got upset with her today and told her I didn't want to speak to her again. I'm sick of the crap she spouts and I don't care what problems she has, pretending you had cancer is unforgivable.

AIBU or could you let this go?

She sounds like a right twat, I'd just ignore her nonsense.

I usually do, this one has particularly upset me as it's a stressful time for me and I am worried. It feels so insensitive and actually a bit spiteful.

It's probably not deliberately spiteful, just their mental health makes them do these things. Try to focus your energy on you - try to ignore their drama/behaviour. I would definitely let it go because YOU are more important right now.

I am really sorry you are going through this. Would it help at all to talk a bit here about how you are feeling about what is happening to you?

Thank you that's really kind. I have a thread on here posted last week and received a really positive and encouraging response which has helped me alot. I didn't want to clog up that thread by moaning about her, but she has really upset me.

I find it hard to differentiate between what is her personality and what parts are the mental illness iykwim. Delusions I can sympathise with but this is an outright lie 🙁

YANBU
Lying about something like that is rotten. It is totally different to thinking to them thinking that they did have bowel cancer at some point.

Ignore them and their "advice".

I hope your procedure goes well

Poor mental health is a reason but not an excuse.

You'd be perfectly justified to tell her you don't want to hear her stories or advice right now and to stop speaking to her if she continues to upset you.

Hope all is well with you 💐

I voted YABU but only because of how you phrased your question. You should let it go. That doesn't mean you have to entertain the nonsense. Her MH issues may be all-consuming to her but they don't have to be to you.

What's her diagnosis? If it's a PD, there's really no spite or malice, it just is.

How do you know for definite she lied?

Does she have a personality disorder? Why is she the authority on everything medical? She can get to fuck!

She has bipolar, no personality disorders.

It's definitely a lie, when I asked her what treatment she had she said she didn't have it for very long but got some tablets from the GP. No referral to oncology / hospitals. Totally see through.

Plus she's that close to her siblings there's no way they wouldn't know about it. My mum is her NOK.