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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you handled wedding childcare

26 replies

clementine89 · 18/11/2022 19:45

(Posting here for traffic) We're getting married in 2024. DC will be 2 and 4. How did you manage childcare on the big day? Hire a professional? Share it between family?

My mum is generally our go to for childcare but it's really important that she enjoys the day instead of just being on Granny duties. She has also pretty much said that she'd rather not be responsible for DC on the day. No other family have offered help and I'm not keen to put that pressure on anyone unless they volunteer.

The main problem is working out how to get the DC back home before the evening guests arrive and then into bed. At the moment it looks like I might have to take them home in a taxi myself then hand them over to a babysitter. That means missing an hour of the wedding which I'm not thrilled about.

For those who got married after having kids, what did you do for your big day? Any top tips? Or anything to avoid? Thank you in advance!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 18/11/2022 19:47

We had a small wedding and no evening do. Probably not helpful.

If you can’t get a favour you’ll have to pay for a sitter.

Ladyofthepeonies · 18/11/2022 19:49

A babysitter stayed all day basically on call and then she put them to bed and looked after them til we went to bed, but we were staying in the hotel. could you get a sitter to pick them I’ve done that many moons ago when looking after children picked them up from and event to let the parents stay on. Depends how well you know/trust sitter

PritiPatelsMaker · 18/11/2022 19:49

Definitely don't let your DM do it, that would be so unfair.

Cakecakecheese · 18/11/2022 19:50

Find a babysitter who drives who can collect the kids?

Zanatdy · 18/11/2022 19:51

Hire a babysitter for the whole day, let them come to the wedding too to assist and then they can take them home and to bed. If you find someone prepared to do it start using them for a night out in the months prior to the wedding so they get to know them and are happy to go with them etc. Maybe someone at the nursery if your children attend?

eastmidswarwicknightnanny · 18/11/2022 19:51

I have gone to weddings as a nanny taking the child/ten from the vvenue to their hotel or home and put to bed etc if local and taking home I will have babysat before or at least met them. If not local and they are staying at the venue or a local hotel I have been booked a little earlier so child and parent comfortable before I take them off to bed.

Mothersruin123 · 18/11/2022 19:52

We hired DD's key worker at nursery to come and care for DD/DN age 3 in a small quiet room away from the wedding reception (it was the room the bride usually gets ready in). There was a sofa, TV and DVD player set up plus a small bathroom. They got in their PJ's and watched movies and could fall asleep if they wanted to until it was time to go home at the end of the night. I accepted that they weren't going to have their usual routine and the next day would probably be a challenge as a result!

MolliciousIntent · 18/11/2022 19:52

The 3 weddings I've been to with kids that small, the childcare arrangements were either...

A) kids are in a room at the venue with a hired sitter

Or

B) kids were popped into PJs and bundled up in a blanket in the corner with a tablet and allowed to stay up til they passed out, then were taken home at the end of the night.

BlueRaincoat1 · 18/11/2022 19:53

It's different because my ds was only 4 months but I paid my then office assistant to be our childminder for the day. I knew and trusted her, and she wasn't otherwise invited. She did a great job. Our hotel was v near our reception venue (lomdon wedding) so I disappeared for an hour to feed him to sleep and then she babysat in the hotel until we were finished at the reception. Then we paid her taxi home.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 18/11/2022 19:53

Why don't you hire a short-term nanny for the day to watch them? Should cost about £100 for peace of mind that someone's got the kids while they enjoy your special day.

2pinkginsplease · 18/11/2022 19:54

You have a few options.

I watched my niece for her mum and dads big day.

my friend has been to a wedding to mind the bride and grooms children all day from getting their hair done to bed time, or you could ask a friend.

do your children go to nursery, some early years workers will work for people they know well.

Mothersruin123 · 18/11/2022 19:57

I should have said that was just for the evening. During the day they ran around with the other kids and friends and family kept an eye out. Could you not ask different close friends and family to take it in turns to keep an eye on them?

FreakyFrie · 18/11/2022 19:58

Pay a babysitter for the whole day and for to take them home.

Ate you not staying on a hotel at the venue..: can’t they stay there?

Nosleepforthismum · 18/11/2022 20:01

Great suggestions from PP’s but to be honest I would ask some of your family/friends if they wouldn’t mind babysitting until the evening when the babysitter takes over. I’d be happy to do it for any of my friends but I wouldn’t necessarily think to offer as I’d assume they already had plans in place. I don’t know anyone who would want the bride to leave her own wedding to put the kids to bed (unless she wanted to obviously)

lastchristmasigaveyoumyfart · 18/11/2022 20:01

Not me but my brother. They went between friends and family members, then the little one slept in the pushchair and the 4 year old fell asleep on some coats. Carried to bed when it was all over.

lieselotte · 18/11/2022 20:08

Not me but a friend got married earlier this year with a toddler (the wedding should have been before he came along, but you know, covid and all that). Her cousin's wife looked after him during the ceremony and wedding breakfast (the wife was there, but concentrated on looking after him) and then she had a babysitter in the evening and there was a room where she could put a travel cot.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/11/2022 20:25

I would pay someone specifically to look after them during the day (not to the exclusion of them spending time with you, but as and when you’re required elsewhere) to take them home and then put to bed.

I really wouldn’t ask a guest to have their day dedicated to this - especially not your mum.

PurpleFlower1983 · 18/11/2022 20:32

We didn’t have kids but friends of mine had family friends look after them who went to the day part and then babysat on site for the night.

Original poster
clementine89 · 18/11/2022 20:37

I knew MNers would have better ideas than I could come up with! Thank you so much everyone for your suggestions. The venue does have a little ante room which it hadn't even occurred to me to use. I think putting them in there once the party starts and asking a keyworker from their nursery to babysit might be a winner! Will also try to do as suggested and have the keyworker babysit for us before the big day do everyone's used to each other.

I think I've got myself in a pickle overthinking it, very reassuring to hear it's easily done and doesn't have to be a big deal. Thanks so much again for all the suggestions!

OP posts:
ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 18/11/2022 20:40

I hired a babysitter and she sat at the kids table with them, then we had another room set up with a film, games etc.
She stayed in the hotel and DS stayed in her room and she brought him to us after breakfast.
We paid her well and it was worth every penny.

gottachangeforthisone · 18/11/2022 21:50

Please do as others have suggested and MEVER feel guilt tripped into having them on your wedding night ! That is something for you two .. a one and only that the kids don't even need to comprehend !

  1. GPS
2 Ofher close friends
  1. Paid baby sitter .

It's ONE NIGHT FOR YOU !

FreakyFrie · 18/11/2022 21:51

gottachangeforthisone · 18/11/2022 21:50

Please do as others have suggested and MEVER feel guilt tripped into having them on your wedding night ! That is something for you two .. a one and only that the kids don't even need to comprehend !

  1. GPS
2 Ofher close friends
  1. Paid baby sitter .

It's ONE NIGHT FOR YOU !

I’m sure they have already had sex 😂😂

Chdjdn · 18/11/2022 21:53

We let DD fall asleep in a pram rather than take her home although I do like the idea of a babysitter for that night.
during the wedding day we asked different family members to each take an hour of looking after so it then wasn’t too much for anyone

riotlady · 18/11/2022 21:55

DD was 3 and we pretty much let her roam free at the party. It was fairly enclosed and had a little kids play park, there were a lot of other kids there, so she stayed up til 10 running around with them until my mum took her to bed. Slept in til 9 the next day!

StuckAtWork123 · 18/11/2022 22:00

I hired 2 of the nursery workers for my wedding day. 1 for each child and assigned them full responsibility all day. Agreed in advance what they would do and breaks on the day etc. I certainly didn't want to be changing nappies on my wedding day and I wanted my family to enjoy the day without responsibilities.

They arrived just after the formal ceremony ended and were assigned a child each for the reception. We had a bi wedding with 100 guests. Having extra childcare meant I could relax knowing that even if the kids were out of sight I knew they were safe and being looked after.

Evening - we stayed overnight at the venue but the kids fell asleep quite late at the disco. Then went to sleep in the hotel room with my mum, who luckily isn't a big drinker so was happy to have them overnight.