To be really pissed off about DP smoking

[Thelangoliers]

DP and I have been together about 4 years, have a young DC. Both used to be smokers, both gave up when trying to get pregnant.

DP usually has a few smokes when on a night out with friends, it’s once in a blue moon and I don’t really have an issue with it, sometimes I’d he has cigarettes left over he’ll have one at night after DC is in bed until the pack is finished.

my request is that if he’s going to do this then it needs to be when I’m in the house in case DC wakes as I don’t want them being exposed to second hand smoke. He agreed.

The last few weeks I have smelled smoke on him a few times (I have a sense of smell like a bloodhound when it comes to smoke) even when he’s washed and brushed teeth. A few times have been when he’s been in charge of DC (although when they’re napping, never when they’re awake as far as I know) and when I call him out on it he flat out denies out for ages until it becomes clear I’m not going to drop it then he admits it and says it won’t happen again.
I don’t want to sound judgemental but smoking is a big deal for me, I don’t want DC brought up around it or having a parent that smokes, but the fact he’s lying to me about it continuously is really making me question him, am I being unreasonable to be so annoyed about this?

I think he's lying because you're massively over reacting and brinyg controlling. The poor bloke probably needs a fag

she's lucky its his only vice! 😂

Ducking hell. Poor bastard. Imagine having to live like he is. With this level of questioning and control.

Bet you’re not

Smoking is my line in the sand. You smoke, we end. Simples.

He stops smoking. That’s what he has to do for his kids health , your health and his health too. The money wasted on smoking could be used for a treats/activities/if this applies to you it could help with bills/food for your family. He stops smoking right away. That’s non negotiable.

I am actually but smoking is the one thing that gets my goat. Grew up with 2 parents as smokers and one of them had a very long and painful death because of it.
Ruined my teenage years and made the other parent's life because they became full time carer. Was miserable for everyone so thanks for your little comment but there is not much else that bothers me.

okay well some above are being quite dramatic - he's smoking tobacco, not shooting up heroin.

Is that the bar; shooting up heroin?

Do you live in an Irvine Welsh novel?

My Mum's long-term friend is in this position.

I asked if her h smokes in their home and Mum said no, but I don't know if that's true or if it's always been the case.

If true, I was wondering if laundering clothes etc. could be a factor.

He has separate eye problems, perhaps related to age; but aside from that is fine.

How does that happen? Different people.

I wondered if childhood factors/other factors could be involved.

I can't believe the posters on this thread. Smoking is a disgusting, dangerous and expensive habit. If it was my OH I'd be reading him the riot act. He must recognise the danger to a child as he's given up when TTC, what's changed? It still poses a risk.

You’re not being unreasonable in the slightest. He’s been given an inch and taken a mile. Tell him you can smell it and it’s a dealbreaker. He can’t hide it as much as he thinks he can xx

No they were not. Neither of my parents smoked and neither did my in laws. It’s a deal breaker for me. If he was my DH I’d have gone ballistic. You were both supposed to have given up when trying to conceive.
Our smoker neighbour never seemed to understand why her kids always had bad chests - my mum was too polite to spell it out for her.