What's going on with nations MH? *[Content warning: concerns suicide]

[Nuggetss]

Another one of my friends when I was at school ended their lives yesterday. This is the third person in 2 years we are in our late 20s. AIBU to think the government need to invest more money in MH. 3 people with their whole lives ahead of them gone. It's very sad one leaving behind DC . Is suicide becoming more common after COVID ? I'm absolutely devastated.

I would absolutely kill myself if I didn’t have my children relying on me. I work really hard and I’m barely covering my monthly finances. What’s the point? I don’t see any hope in my future now, whereas I used to. I’m not depressed, just tired.

My psychiatrist said it’s usually around 27/28 that stress triggers a lot of things
I had a breakdown at 28. It was because I was approaching 30 and hadn’t managed to secure a well paid job or buy a house or find a committed relationship. I also didn’t earn enough to travel or enjoy my life either, and I definitely didn’t earn enough to afford to have kids. I was basically living the same life I’d lived since I was a teenager, with no prospect of anything changing.

So I agree with the PP who said there’s no hope. People want to progress in life and that’s just not possible when there’s a lack of decent jobs so you can’t buy a house or do any of the other stuff you want to do.

And now people are not only broke, they’re beyond broke and can’t actually pay their bills. It was in the news yesterday about a woman in her late 20s who took her 3yo to the train station and stepped in front of a train because she couldn’t pay her bills.

What I genuinely don't understand is that my Grandmother's generation lived through a war, as did the generation before that. Children were either evacuated to live with strangers or stayed behind to face the Blitz. My Grandmother had an evening volunteer role putting small bombs that landed on the roof into buckets of sand. Time it wrong & you'd at best get your hand blown off. Someone up thread mentioned The Somme. There are countless other war examples.

Why is anxiety such a problem now, when it seemingly wasn't when things were much worse?

How do we know it wasn't a problem during the war (or during any wars)? We see people fleeing war now utterly traumatised, I doubt we all think the people of Ukraine will be bouncing back and forgetting all about it even if the war ends - why would people in the past be unruffled by it?

Many people of my parents' generation grew up with parents who were obviously emotionally damaged by their wartime experiences.

I think it's in everyone's interests to tell their grandchildren that it was all dancing and heroism, and try their best to forget all about it. Honestly, the ability to forget horrible things is a huge blessing but many people cannot.

Covid taught us that relationships, institutions and principles we all assumed would last forever could be torn away in weeks. Women gave birth alone. People living alone went months without having a face to face conversation with someone they knew. I know several single people who didn't have a hug for more than a year. Weddings and birthdays and all parties were cancelled - these are the fun things that people both old and young look forward to when life is hard. We didn't know who would live and who would die, especially at the start. We didn't know how long it would all go on.

Certainly after WW2 there would have been a sense that things would get better, and they did, with the creation of the NHS etc.

It's hard to be optimistic about the future of the UK now

@Q2C4
Like I wrote up thread. There was a sense of community. People were in it together. Now it's everyone out for themselves. Also things could only get better (as a nation) so there was hope.

I’m sorry 💐

Bad MH now seems to be so common I’m not sure if we can realistically fix it in terms of enough counsellors, enough support workers, enough inpatient units etc. Dishing out pills is a
cheaper and faster option.

I honestly blame social media, a lack of fresh air and the endless 24/7 bad news coverage for a lot of MH issues. I have (diagnosed, almost lifelong) OCD and depression, and I feel noticeably more stable when I get plenty of fresh air, exercise and stay away from doom scrolling/news or dr Google. I also have health anxiety about my DD and find the endless ‘raising awareness’ health campaigns to be a double edged sword.

But, what can we do? Social media is going nowhere, the news just gets shitter. I really think there will be a ‘movement’ (kind of Amish - like) in rebellion against all this at some point, that just reverts back to a simpler way of life.

I agree actually. There’s a balance and I think we’ve now tipped into talking too much about MH and medical conditions. To the point where people with perfectly normal negative emotions are pathologising them and diagnosing themselves.

It's hard to be optimistic about the future of the UK now
Uncontrolled illegal immigration and the government is doing nothing to stop it. NHS is collapsing so it’s a struggle to get treatment and NHS dentistry is non-existent. House prices are unaffordable. People can’t afford to heat their homes. Public services like libraries are vastly reduced and slowly disappearing, and there’s no prospect of any future money to revitalise them. The threat of nuclear war, possibly WW3. And on top of that we’re being told that we’re heading towards a climate crisis, and as individuals there’s nothing we can do to avert it - even as a country we can’t make much impact on a global scale. I’m not optimistic about our future at all.

Also don’t forget that 20-40 something people have life goals that were formed in totally different economic circumstances. The things we planned to do simply aren’t possible now. It’s hugely depressing when your life can’t meet your expectations.

I’m really sorry about your friend. It must be devastating.

However there isn’t, as far as I know, an increase in suicide since the pandemic.

waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

This is several years old but it’s a good read and explains very clearly why people are unhappy nowadays.

Anxiety and other mental disorders were a massive problem during and after the War. They just weren't discussed because it "wasn't the done thing"

This article is quite an interesting read:

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/dec/27/what-mental-health-impact-of-second-world-war-tells-us-about-post-covid-life?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

"In Hull, where a team of psychiatrists and psychologists studied why the populations panicked after heavy raiding, researchers found case studies that showed “people developed serious psychosomatic conditions, including involuntary soiling and wetting, persistent crying, uncontrollable shaking, headaches and chronic dizziness,” wrote Overy. “The government papered over the evidence of the physical and psychological effects of being bombed and focused instead on the stories of British resolve.”"

"“There were very few focused interventions for people who were suffering from really quite severe post-traumatic illnesses,” he said. “And it led to the idea that the British people actually managed the war without traumatic illness, that somehow we coped. And most people did, but that ignores the probably 10-15% of the population who were really quite unwell.”"

This is a good description.

There completely different situations. While the wars were undoubtedly horrific they also brought a sense of purpose and unity. Many young men were only too eager sign up and participate in what they believed would be a big adventure.

After the wars there was huge amounts of rebuilding to do again giving purpose.

My grandfather, for example, left school at 14, joined the war effort at 18, survived and secured a job as a mechanic on his return, this job allowed him to purchase a 4 bed detached home off the bat where he raised his family and progress through the company to a management position, which gave him a great pension when he retired at 60.

My father left school at 16, walked into an apprenticeship with British Gas and stayed their for his entire career, again progressing through the ranks.

His job allowed him to buy a starter home, upgrade to a family home when I came along, and again to a larger family home when my siblings came along. It also allowed him to support my mum through university, take us on holidays, and gave him good pension when he retired at 63.

I left school at 18 initially took a trade but retrained as there wasn't room for progression and now have a degree and a masters. I was only able to buy my starter home in my 30s, can't afford to upgrade from here, can't afford to reduce income to have kids, can't afford to support my partner to retrain from a job they hate and is slowly grinding them to dust, and despite progressing through the ranks a bit now I'm no better off than I was 10 years ago. Oh and have a shitty pension that means I'll probably have to work till I die.

As others have said its the relentless bleakness that crushes us and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, things are only going to get worse.

I have tried to end my life before and I'm only still here because someone spotted what I was doing by chance and alerted the police. I flick between just accepting the drudgery of life and thinking about flinging myself off a bridge to get it over with pretty frequently and if I slip into another proper depression again I don't think I'll survive it quite honestly.

I think it’s probably a combination of effects of lockdown (and just because restrictions have ended as someone said doesn’t mean people aren’t still feeling the long term effects of the isolation / worry), plus cost of living. Really sorry about your friends, there really isn’t enough money invested in MH in the U.K.

There was always liable to be a mental health drag once restrictions died down. The government deliberately pursued a policy of trying to increase people's fears, and this had an awful effect. No consideration at all for those with existing issues like health anxiety and OCD.

Uncontrolled illegal immigration and the government is doing nothing to stop it. Bloody obessession with immigration is partly what is destroying the UK, we are short of workers, it's fucking our economy. Government failures to provide ordinary services being blamed on immigration. Sick of reading the same bollocks.

Treasury warning the government today that plans to further cut migration will result in higher taxes for existing workers. Working people pay tax to fund the services used by older people who are not working - and if we're not allowed to increase the workforce it'll cost each of us more.

Yes, it certainly exacerbated my pre-existing mh problems. I’ve had bouts of agoraphobia for well over a decade, and each time it was a gruelling battle to find my way back into the world. When we went into that first lockdown, I was faced with being furloughed from work and the government telling me to stay home - I was suicidal at the prospect of becoming agoraphobic again. I had help (for a few weeks) and worked out a system of survival. Months of survival - and for many that’s all life is now. And now, if you get to the point of drowning, not surviving, there’s no one there to catch you. So yes, people are going to die.

Exactly.

I've recently started a job where I cannot take my mobile phone or any device whatsoever, into work

Had to wean myself off whilst I was working my notice period....it was hard. But my day is so much better for having zero access to any tech

No doc media notifications
No calls/texts to check
No news headlines
No temptation to online shop
No games

It's quite liberating but hard enough for me let alone younger people

"Being more open about mental health has in no way contributed to more people having mental health issues. Ridiculous to imply that. Reporting MH issues and feeling free to talk about them is now more common."

We did a happiness survey at school. We asked 7 year old children to identify (from a list) which five things were most important to them and made them happy. Then we asked them to identify one thing they were most worried about - overwhelming response about what worried them was 'my mental health.' So I am not suggesting that MH is swept under the carpet but when 7 year old children think it's their biggest worry, I do wonder whether we're doing something wrong.

"I was unable to answer questions in class despite being very clever. It wasn't lack of resilience or parenting, it was undiagnosed autism and processing issues.
Supportive parents are not to blame for the MH crisis. If you read the Complete Guide to Aspergers it will educate you on ASD and will explain that parents huge support is often the only thing enabling their child to cope with school.
Maybe some of your students have ASD or other undiagnosed conditions rather than being the snowflakes you suggest."

Unless 90% of the school population have undiagnosed SEN no this is not the case. Children facing challenges due to undiagnosed SEN is certainly an issue. I've done three referrals for children in my class this term but it is not the whole story and we are doing them all a disservice if anyone raising the issue is shouted down. It is at least worth considering that exposure to managed risk and 'normal' worries might help before they reach teen years and the online echo chambers pushing self harm and so on.

I really feel for you. It is terrible for those who have gone but for those of us left behind. I.lost my partner to suicide nearly a year ago. The trauma is devastating. To those who have said they doubt Covid has anything to do wyth it,I know some people enjoyed being at home in their stable environment socialising with their immediate loving family. It was not like that for everyone. I have lived alone for 22years and I genuinely thought the isolation would break me. The financial legacy of lock down will be erased at some point whether the emotional trauma is erased is an entirely different matter. I.have done much reading on suicide. I would say don't try to grieve in a particular way. This is a terrible situation for which adequate preparation can never be done. Grief is like a wave that retreats then comes crashing forward within an hour,a day etc. Be kind to yourself.

OP there is no help. Ex DP and me have been through something horrendous. Both told to seek NHS mental health support by the GP only to be brushed off with anger management and stress management courses. I also have a DC who’s been waiting for CAHMS for over two years (thankfully not directly for mental health).

There is no help. No one is going to save you. It’s just not there.

I don’t know if things were different under a labour government but I was truly truly shocked at how little mental health support there actually is.

I’m so sorry about your friends.