to think these things can wait

[RollingHedghog]

In laws coming to stay this weekend. I thought they were coming tomorrow but DH has just announced they are arriving today at 4:30pm!

We are both working from home. DH has booked the pub for dinner but the house is a tip. I’ve had horrible morning sickness all week and not been very productive on the house front. DH has been very busy with work. Shopping arrived last night and I just bunged the fridge stuff in but everything else needs putting away. Bed needs changing, carpets need hoovering and bathroom needs cleaning.

DH has announced he needs to mow the lawn and clean the oven. We just got into an argument because I said bed/vacuuming/ bathroom need to be done first as they are more important. We pretty much just have our lunch breaks to do it all.

I’m also annoyed because it’s his lack of planning that means we didn’t know they were coming today.

AIBU?

That's exactly the sort of shit my DH would pull. Things that can blatantly take a back seat would get prioritised. I respond with 'So the vacuuming and beds needs to be done first - which one are you doing?'

Make yourself a cuppa while dh cracks on imo...

What is it about men and cutting grass? There has to be some deep psychological reason to it.

Can't you do bed, vacuuming and bathroom while he mows lawn, cleans oven and puts groceries away?

How long is lunch break? If DH speeds up, he can clean bathroom in 20 minutes, hoovering 15-20 minutes. Beds can be changed during his coffee break. Why would he need to clean the oven now? You're going to the pub.

It's a nice outdoor activity that you don't need to do every day. Looks nice when you've done it.

But wanting to clean the oven???

I have this argument constantly with my DH 😆

He sees one long list of jobs and thinks it doesn't matter what order they get done in. I try to prioritise the ones that actually make an immediate difference (e.g. shopping away, or else there's no room on the counter for anything else!).

I think there are two rules re. etiquette and unexpected overnight guests: if they're the kind of visitors you don't need to clean for, then 20 minutes notice is plenty. Quick scout round, change of clothes maybe, job's a good un. If they're the kind you need to run around cleaning for, then I need a minimum of two days' notice. Non-negotiable. If he sprung the latter on me I'd go out 😆

Just LEAVE IT ALL to DH .

Its his cockup, he carries the can .

You just says to ILs " I wasn't expecting you today., DH didn't tell me."

He "needs" to cut grass in winter? It hasn't grown for months.

My DH decided the grass suddenly needed to be cut at the weekend 🙄 completely ridiculous this time of year!

DP would cut the lawn and probably wash his car in this situation. He’s also been known to wander around the garden with a paintbrush touching up the fence panels.

It’s just to get out of doing ‘pink’ jobs!!

This is my DH. I would love to know how his mind works!

Cutting the grass is him showing off his manlyness - look I can look after my home..
The cooker is his look I am a modern bloke!
Let them see you can make a cuppa and be sat with one when they arrive! After their journey tea wins!

You've got an hour and 2 adults.

I'm sure you can manage it all between you

Shame you mustn’t live near me, it has rained solidly for three days so he could never cut the grass in that! House definitely takes priority, just leave it to him to do once he’s done the grass! And the oven definitely doesn’t need cleaning!

Why on earth would cutting the grass take priority over basic household cleaning?

He's nuts and its his problem so let him deal with it.

My H (he’s not very D today!) does this. My sister (who’s H (who is also not very D) is the same) and I have come to the conclusion that “man” jobs are those that stay “done” for a while and attract admiration, mostly from other men. “Women’s” jobs are those that need doing over and over again that no one notices such as washing and cleaning the kitchen 🙄.

Mow the flipping lawn? He must be joking. Who’s even going to be using the lawn at this time of year? He needs to do the basics before even thinking of it.

I have come to the conclusion that “man” jobs are those that stay “done” for a while and attract admiration, mostly from other men. “Women’s” jobs are those that need doing over and over again that no one notices such as washing and cleaning the kitchen

This!

So much this!! My DH doesn't think shopping or cooking count as household chores. Guess who does all the shopping and cooking! 😡

Promise he is great in other ways and I am terrible at laundry so it evens out... But at least I acknowledge it is actually a job!

But also this

our grass was still growing last week and will need cutting again

Update time! So on my lunch break I changed the bed, hoovered, did some tidying downstairs, cleaned the bathroom, and did the washing up.

DH... wait for it... cleaned the outsides of the downstairs window frames. I wish I was joking. He did also put the shopping away, so I'll take that as a win.

I have informed him that the kitchen floor still needs mopping. No idea if that will get done in the next half hour. He's just announced that he's logging off for the day and going for a shower.

Grass is un-mown and oven is uncleaned, so I suppose I did convince him those things were not important.

He is very good around the house (and usually does most of the cleaning and pretty much all the laundry), but TERRIBLE at domestic prioritisation under pressure. 😂

Thankfully he will have energy to host his folks.....
Whilst you sit down and admire the windows..