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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bail on a rude friend.

8 replies

ILikeItHere · 18/11/2022 09:49

I am thinking of cutting ties with a friend of mine I have known for several years. She is a good sport in many ways but find her difficult at times.
Namely incredibly rude and trying to pose superior. We already had a 2-3 months long break recently due to that but it seems she learnt nothing.
Yesterday for example I was told I have no taste. That was where I have told her what wine I bought for my neighbours (we gift each other wine and sweats for Christmas).
On another occasion she felt the need to tell me she would not like to live in my area. I live in a nice detached house in the best part of admittedly not the best part of town. Great neighbourhood, just not where majority of middle class would choose.
I am also being patronised on my consumer choices. I order a lot from infamous Amazon and that triggers the rant on how awful it is to work for them and how I should follow her footsteps and search for local options instead. All ended with 'but that's just me'.
We are an immigrant family with kids and, although both working, prices do matter to us, whereas she only lives with her husband and in comparison had a privileged upbringing.
I would not have dreamt of making comments like that, to anyone, let alone a friend. I find them rude and totally uncalled for. They usually come out of the blue.
I have had enough and thinking I should give up on this relation. What are your thoughts? Am I taking this too personally, maybe do not understand British humour? Meant to meet for lunch this weekend but I think I will just bail on her.

OP posts:
purpliee · 18/11/2022 09:51

You don't need an exit essay. If you don't want to be friends with someone anymore then don't.

IntrovertedPenguin · 18/11/2022 09:52

If you don't want to be friends, don't. Nobodies forcing you.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/11/2022 09:52

Just drop her. End of.

Tiani4 · 18/11/2022 10:08

You find your friend difficult and don't like how she speaks to you. Doesn't sound like you particularly like who she is anymore, other than she's sometimes a 'good sport'

Downgrade her, be unavailable. Don't share information about your life.
Make her an acquaintance
Someone you bump into in groups

I'd when out she makes any comments you think are rude , say so "wow that was rude" and if she doubles down " You have rubbish social skills, that was not a nice thing to say. Let's change the subject / leave it there as I'm going to speak to X now instead"

KimberleyClark · 18/11/2022 10:10

Can she take it as well as dish it out or does she get offended when you criticise her

Activelyannoyed · 18/11/2022 10:14

You don’t need permission. If you don’t want to be her mate any more don’t be.

ILikeItHere · 18/11/2022 10:16

That is the thing, it is not a banter, not my style. So it is just coming from her every now and again. I could criticise many things about her but see no point, even jokingly, we are adults and my attitude is more you do you.

OP posts:
Daisydog22 · 18/11/2022 10:16

I agree with previous poster, I would call her out or say something like "wow....what an odd thing to say out loud" and then just look at her blankly. It's very thoughtless to make such comments as she does. Blunt "straight talking" people really annoy me. I would definitely call her out though or drop her, no friendship is worth feeling like this.

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