To think my OH is being controlling about my weight ?

[Peedoffo]

So I was 17 stone at my highest weight I'm now 9 stone 12. OH always used to moan how fat I was and I agree it was very unhealthy. I've lost the weight and my BMI is now 22 so healthy. OH has said I now look boney and frail. He would like me to gain 4-6lbs as that's when I look the best. AIBU to tell him to him to fuck off nit picking over 4-6lbs ?

No you're not. You don't exist to please him so tell him you don't give a shit what he thinks!

As long as you meet the Drs guidelines and you are happy with your size please tell him to do one. Congratulations on the achievement!

Obviously not.

You are not a design-your-own girlfriend
(assuming you are female).

He doesn't get to put in an order for what features he wants on you.

Sounds very shallow and superficial. He should find someone who meets his specification if he cares that much - I'd be showing him the door.

I wouldn't just be telling him to fuck off about his opinions on your weight!

Losing this amount of weight is seriously impressive and for him to diminish it like that shows what a prick he is.

And I highly doubt this is the only opinion he's quick to offer...

Not sure, my DH lost too much weight through stress once & I gave him more food at dinner etc. Is that controlling? He genuinely looks better imo

Tell him to fuck off generally and shut the door on the way out.

He doesn’t get to control your body mass index.

Whats happened in your life to make you believe you don’t deserve better than this? Can you leave him? I would be getting away from someone like this as fast as possible.

Is he genuinely concerned about you?

So which part of himself is he going to modify for you in return? I suggest his personality.

Either that or you could suggest to him that you lose another approx 14 stone….

Congratulations on your weight loss, what a fantastic achievement, and the prize of feeling so good about yourself.

Tell him to fuck right off.

Arsehole of the highest order!

This is a little controlling in my opinion. I had an ex who constantly went on about my weight (I varied about 7lb up and down) and he was like oh you’re too thin and as soon as I put on a few lb it was oh look at you having a tummy. As long as you’re healthy and feel happy your weight is no one else’s business.

Tell him to modify his personality.

Do you think being slim is making him insecure? Or is he just a controlling prick?

My husband was concerned with my weight as I became obsessed with calorie counting and lost 3 stone in 3 months.
What worries me is you said your partner called you too fat and is now telling you to put on 4-6lbs
Is he usually quite controlling?
I think I’d be too upset with my partner to put up with this

You've done fantastically well. So instead of being immensely proud of you he nitpicks about 4/6lbs? What a dick!
I hate personal remarks about weight , just so bloody ignorant ! Reminds me of my exh. Six weeks after a c/s with my third dc I was tentatively starting to diet/exercise. He seen me doing some warm ups and remarked "you'll soon be down to the size of an elephant" I said nothing but I never forgot how humiliated I felt. One year later I'd lost 6 stone.....plus another 13st of unwanted weight ....him!!

Unless you are exceptionally tall, there is no way you could be boney and frail. You sound like you are bang in the middle of the healthy weight range. I don't think a weight difference of 4 lb would make you look any different. Doubt if 6 lb would either. He may not be used to you looking so different, depending on how quickly you lost the weight but even so, a few pounds isn't going to change that.

Is he genuinely concerned about you?

Why would he be concerned? Do you have any idea how tall you would have to be for it to even be approaching underweight?

He’s a perfect physical specimen, presumably?

Does he have a six-pack, bulging biceps and a stunning tan OP?

If not tell him to fuck off telling you what to look like.

My husband would literally never comment on my weight.

Even if he does, still doesn’t get to comment. Can see what you mean though. I’d ensure my internet search history consisted of Tom Hardy 😜🤣.

Unless there is genuine concern regarding health, he shouldn’t comment or vice versa.

Well done on your weight loss OP.

Even if he does, still tell him to fuck off.

You've done amazingly well to get to where you are from what must have been a very dangerous starting point, health wise.

Stop discussing your weight with him now. What ever your size.

Congratulations on your weight loss. One of the fringe benefits is that you will now have a wider choice of partners. I'd make the most of it if I were you.