To ask if anyone else feels like a bumbling twat after EVERY interview?

[calmama]

Every time I finish a job interview I walk out of there feeling like the biggest twat. All I can remember of it are flashbacks of me rambling and bumbling through questions like an absolute moron. All the practice I do seems to go out the window. Really feeling it today after interviewing for my dream job.

AIBU This never happens to me. Toughen up.
YANBU Same here, sister. My commiserations.

Yes dumb dumb dumb and dumber after every interview.

Yes this me!

But funnily enough, when i think i messed up, generally get the job, when i think its gone well, i dont.

I guess maybe most want a human with all their faults, rather than a robot?

Yup, same. I BOMBED at interview last week. Really bombed. I'd prepared lots of technical knowledge but it turned out to be almost wholly competency-based, and not the not the kind of competencies you'd first think of for this role. For example questions about a time when you've made efficiency savings, for a role with no budget, and very little flexibility to change fairly tight, legally prescribed working criteria. I was utterly thrown, and instead of regathering, I entered headless chicken mode.

I am now ridiculously bitter about the time I wasted preparing the technical knowledge, and the fact that I took a precious term time day off to submit myself to the humiliation. And I'm cross that as it's a national recruitment exercise, just when I think I've buried it, I will get an email with feedback and scores in February, to remind me how shite I am.

I don't know how I got my current job, all I know is I talked A LOT during my interview!

It was the second time I had interviewed with them and they said it was better than my first so maybe they just like talkative people.

I hated doing zoom interviews, they just felt so stilted and much more formal than a face to face interview for me.

I once went to shake the interviewers hand but they were actually just putting out my water and then in my panic to withdraw my hand I knocked the glass of water all over the table and paperwork.

Having been on both sides of the table there's some really poor interviewers as well - some people just aren't that good at making people feel at ease in stressful situations.

I have an interview next week and I am already feeling panicky. It is a role I am well qualified for but still go to pieces when faced by two strangers. I turn into a babbling wreck

I can relate. Things that helped me and have coached my kids, other folks on is STARs
didnt know about this until I started to do interviewing ..then suddenly realised where I was getting it worng

So STARs are: Situation, task, action and result. It’s how you always answer interview question whether they ask you using STARs based interviewing techniques or not

so you answer all question by giving historical examples. Explain briefly the Situation, and Task you needed to do, then go into more detail on Action “I” took (never we). Then more on what the Result was- could be financial gains for company, eliminated waste, improving ways of doing things and even what you learnt from it (cos you can have STARS where you messed up but learnt from it)

but the BIG thing here is to develop and pratice talking about your STARs before the interview. Look at the job description and identify skills and attributes you need(including transferable skills), then develop 2-3 STARs for each one. Write them out into a document and then practice saying them out loud- yep out loud ..over and over till you have them committed to memory. This shouldn’t be word for word, but a succinct verbal recollection, and you recalling your STARs and being able to use them readily for interview question.

This means you don’t ramble. You keep S and T brief and to the point. you can clearly articulate exactly what you did in A, and then blow your trumpet without feeling like you are bragging in R.

Good interviews always want historical evidence - they’ll ask questions like “tell me about a time when you….” Or “ give me an example of when “

But even if you have a “bad” interviewer that ask question like “what would you do in this situation” you go straight in with the response of “ let me tell you about a situation where this happened” or “ historically I have done this. Here is an example…”. Interviewers are way more impressed with evidence of what you have done to indicate what you’ll do in the future. Anyone can say anything about the future- it counts for diddly squat.

practice and practice. Talk aloud to yourself. Or get a hapless victim to listen to you.
. STARs can also be used in very abbreviated ways in CVs and job application

They really do work. My kids have 100% success rate at interviews after all our interview practices. They’re in late 20s and 30s. Genuinely not a boast- its not my technique and I had to learn it just like them. But bloody hell it works and stops all the waffle and not getting to point and talking round in circles. And once you are prepared and have your arsenal of STARs up your sleeve you are less tense, more relaxed and more engaging with the interviewer.

See my response above about STARs based interviews. This is what they were doing with you. If you can learn your STARs you can shine in future. (Pun not intended)

I have been on a few zoom interviews where I have been tempted to just log off halfway through 😂 I had one not too long ago where I was trying to refer to the electoral roll in relation to credit scores. What I actually referred to was "The register". I immediately realised what I had said and sat in horrified silence for a moment before opening my stupid trap and correcting myself by saying "obviously not the register" which made things worse. They offered me the job for some reason which made me really question their judgement 😁

I found myself criticizing the company's practices (to the interviewer!) once. I still regret not walking out ofthat interview

Posted too soon! I felt like I 'had to' stay and finish, even though I no longer wanted the job, and cringed my way through one of those play acting things while they pretended to be the client.

Reader, I didn't get an offer!

I totally understand, and it would be a good idea for you to get some coaching or even some speech/acting lessons to help you if it's really affecting your chances. But a lot of the fault lies in the way interviews are conducted and in the idea that you have to "perform" and answer questions (often confusing, stupidly put, or irrelevant anyway) that you haven't prepared for in advance, when these two skills are not actually related to the job. So a lot of the fault lies with them and not you, so no you are not a bumbling expletive.

I've just had an interview and I'm pretty sure I was awful 😭

The pressure of my contract being up in the spring probably is getting to me!

I only got told about it yesterday so wasnt massively prepared either

Oh 100% I feel like this after every interview!

These fashionable 'competency-based' interviews are a load of rubbish in my view anyway because they aren't checking competency (you can only do that by observing them on the job or at the least). They are assessing whether you can come up with a succinct and plausible (usually unverifiable) story "about a time when you..." which isn't the same thing at all.

Maybe one of the reasons so many people seem so ill-suited to their jobs when you come into contact with them is that the people getting those jobs are good at performing in interviews (and writing a CV) ahead of those that are better at the actual job.

*at the least, properly verifying the qualifications and stated work experience against references although this can be difficult as most referees write very basic references only

Newlifestartingatlast - I do something similar for evidencing answers but it’s called SOAR - situation, obstacle, action, results. Game changer. I was told to prepare 20-30 but I did less than that. I have a list if likely questions - sone generic and sone focused purely on the competencies for the role in question.

I loath competency based interviews, all you're doing is parroting off scenarios and the whole thing just feels so forced. Unfortunately it's my company's preferred interview method. Went to move teams years ago, and I knew I could do the job, they knew I could do the job and I tanked so hard. It was awful, about half way through I knew it was shite but on I waffled till the bitter end 😆

Went for a short term manager (of the team I'm in) role last month, had my line manager tell me I'd be great, I reached out to someone internally who helped people prepare, had loads of scenarios that covered pretty much everything, got them looked over and STAR'd the shit out of them. I thought it went so well this time. Still didn't hit their magical competency benchmark despite it all did I? It's all scorecards, buzzwords and special scenarios to hit instead of actually looking at what you do day to day 🤷‍♀️

My worst interview (30+ years ago) was for a receptionist job on a low salary. The manager started off by stating ‘your hours of work are 9-5 but we expect you to be at your desk by 8.30 latest’ I replied ‘do you pay overtime for the extra 30 minutes a day?’ and he looked completely stunned that I would ask such a thing. We sat in silence for another few seconds then I said ‘I don’t think I’m suitable for this job’ and walked out!

Yes! My mind just goes totally blank and when I come out all of the things I should have said come rushing back to me. I had one this week which I totally prepared for and was feeling quite confident. Then, as soon as I went in, when I was asked the non assessed ice breaker question - what do I like doing in my spare time - my mind went blank and I couldn't think of anything which is ridiculous.

Yes, every single time. I have done some shockers - I set the disability alarm off in the toilets at one place (I got that job) and through a slip of the tongue, accidentally said something wildly inappropriate at another (didn't get that one!). I did three competency based interviews recently, thought I had aced the last one, did ok in the middle and fluffed the first. I didn't get the last job and was offered the other two...you honestly never know!!

@Honeycombcrunch I don’t think you failed that one. You just exposed them and they didn’t like it. Well done for asking the question!

@Newlifestartingatlast Thank you for your advice. I’ll definitely use that to prepare next time. It’s so stupid though. I had spent a lot of time practicing interview questions and spoke (to myself) with confidence and competence. Put me in an interview and it all dissolves into bleugh…

I had an interview where I couldn’t get zoom working: had a mad panic and emailed the company. Turned out they could see multiple visions of me faffing about trying to get logged on to the zoom call. I was a bit nervous and I’m a bit shit at lying, so gave completely honest answers to everything (including the fact that I really value a good work life balance: my family are priority, and as such, I would only work really long hours if there was an acute need)

oddly, I still got the job, and there was many other applicants

I agree STARR is great for getting you to focus, the extra R is for reflection. But I now have the answer to perfect interviews but it’s all or nothing …

my job was shift work, they new I was on night shift the week they were interviewing so gave me the last one of the day so it would be my morning. Finished my 12 hour shift, got an email saying due to covid they had moved my spot to first. Basically I did it on now sleep and little preparation. I didn’t have the energy for nerves so I looked really slick. I explained I had just finished a night shift and in feedback they said they were impressed at my straightforward no nonsense attitude. I was barely conscious! I’m not sure I’ll have the gut to do it again though.