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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you think?

171 replies

IMissVino · 17/11/2022 22:31

When I’m stressed or upset, my thoughts get what I’ve always described as ‘messy and tangled’. It’s like I can see them in my head, and they are untidy. I really hate this, so I calm myself down and ‘tidy’ them.

Most of the time, my thoughts are in neat, gleaming lines and A clearly leads onto B. It’s how I think, how I communicate and how I process the world.

I was talking to DH about this and he genuinely doesn’t understand what I mean! As in, he couldn’t even begin to visualise what I was describing and was rather stumped by my ‘so what do your thoughts look like, then?’

So, now I’m interested in if this is just a ‘me’ thing and what everyone else’s thoughts ‘look’ like. How would you describe your thought processes?

OP posts:
bippityboppity87 · 18/11/2022 18:57

I think in pictures and my own internal voice interchangeably. Though if I'm trying understand directions, I find it easier to visualise where to go than street names etc

AriettyHomily · 18/11/2022 19:33

@Doodadoo I'm a PM 😂

OnlyFannys · 18/11/2022 19:41

I cant relate to the visual thinkers at all unfortunately, I wish I could but all I have is noise, noise and more constant noise. My brain never shuts up and there is always random music playing in the background. I suffer with constant headaches and I feel like its partly all my brain noise.
When I need to.come.up with ideas I immediately have to grab a pen and start bullet pointing or drawing mind maps to get my brain into gear.

Snoooozzze · 18/11/2022 20:14

@SmileyClare I genuinely have never really got why when I described soo could see in my minds eye(new decor idea for example) my DH just couldn't understand what I was talking about- I always thought it was how I was describing it... turns out he just doesn't see what I see at all!

I've just asked him about what he sees in his mind if I spoke to him about eg a brown horse and he said "nothing!" It's words to him and he doesn't conjure up any images regardless of what the conversation is about! He's an electrician so works from plans and doesn't deviate- I never noticed before but it's the same when he does work in the house... if I ask for a socket to be moved I have to be very precise and physically show him what I mean!

I find all of this absolutely fascinating!

Re music- I listen to a lot of music and can recall lyrics years and years later even if I've not heard the song for a long time. I sort of watch the music like a music video and see the story of the song...

Snoooozzze · 18/11/2022 20:19

bippityboppity87 · 18/11/2022 18:57

I think in pictures and my own internal voice interchangeably. Though if I'm trying understand directions, I find it easier to visualise where to go than street names etc

Interesting re directions... I get lost ALOT if I follow sat nav but if I plan my journey ahead I can see place markers in my head in the form of a building or land mark and only need one journey to recall it whenever I go back that way...

I have a great sense of spacial awareness as well and can 9times out of 10 see if something will fit without having to measure the space. Real example of this was our new sofa set 2 weeks ago- it is an exact perfect fit and measured in my minds eye! DH was impressed lol

TheHauntedPencilCase · 18/11/2022 20:21

Daisy1992 · 17/11/2022 23:30

I find this fascinating, I only recently learned people think in different ways. I do not think in visuals at all, only words, as in I have a running commentary going in my head all the time, in my own voice... I think what I'm going to say before I say it, I hold little conversations in my head, when reading it is like having an audio book, I can hear them aloud in my head. I do dream vivid movie like dreams though.

Me too @Daisy1992 was beginning to think I was the only one!

Slinkything · 18/11/2022 20:42

I also find ilness on the brain intersesting as I knew someone who had a massive inflamation on the brain, where it occured apparently was the part of the brain wher migrains originate (reason why it was so painful, enough to push excessive spinal fluid out of the nose ) a specialist nuerologist in London confirmed this.
Left with very litle physical disabilities but personality changes very much so and they never had headache again 20 years on.

Biffatcrafts · 18/11/2022 22:11

I asked my DH today how he thought (had never really asked him before) and it turns out he thinks in bubbles and groups of bubbles. In those bubbles he has concepts as well as specific details, and he sees those as a mixture of words, pictures, abstract representations, sounds and smells. Wow lol I knew he had a great and interesting mind, but this thread has given us both a whole new topic to mutually explore. Thanks to you @IMissVino and all the other PPs on this thread 😀

NooNooHead1981 · 18/11/2022 22:16

Haven't RTFT but this is what I wrote on a Facebook page support group for people with Aphantasia... it will give an insight into how I used to think, and how I do now:

"I'm finding being an aphant a real struggle.

I have acquired aphantasia after a head injury and post concussion syndrome in 2015. Before this, my inner world was rich, interesting, and I had an inner voice/monologue and ability to see anything,
imagine what I liked, visualise people and
places I'd been, hear any songs or music I
ever played, and my inner voice was very
loud, often I would be unable to switch it off.
I could have conversations in my head, and hear the 'voice' reading aloud when I read anything.

Conversely now, I don't have many images if
any, and I can only hear my voice quite
quietly. I struggle to remember things easily but do have significant memories of important and special times such as my wedding and children's births, they are a little bit less detailed but still there. Thankfully I have lots of photos for these so they help to remind me of things I can't remember as
clearly.

Yes, I know some who have congenital
aphantasia won't think it is much to worry
about but for me, I have struggled to accept it and it is quite depressing. I feel it is akin to a sort of 'soul loss' as such, and even moreso that there isn't a lot that can help fix it.

In the 8 years since my mild TBI, I've only
had a handful of times that I can see some
photographic images in my mind like before.
I would give anything to go back to the day
before I banged my head and be who I once was.😭"

Slinkything · 18/11/2022 22:16

@Biffatcrafts

Is he mathematically minded, into algorithms ?

Bubblesort comes to mind.

Biffatcrafts · 18/11/2022 22:24

Not mathematical per se, but very logical, analytical and very solution driven. He was in a very demanding job for many years which demanded huge mental capacity to maintain not only a comprehensive overview of situations, but also a massive amount of technical and logistic detail. Hence why he adopted the big bubble plus little bubbles approach to his thoughts.

He was very very good at it, but I do know he is happier now he is retired and doesn't have to maintain that level of mental intensity.

IMissVino · 18/11/2022 22:26

@Biffatcrafts How lovely! You’re very welcome. 😊

OP posts:
Snoooozzze · 18/11/2022 22:31

@NooNooHead1981 that's sounds so difficult! I'm sorry you're having to adapt to such a change! SadFlowers

IMissVino · 18/11/2022 22:46

@NooNooHead1981 Oh, I’m so sorry! That sounds like a tremendously difficult adjustment.

OP posts:
DatasCat · 18/11/2022 23:06

If we are to stick with the OP’s concept of her thinking, I will say my own thinking has several parallel styles. I visualise words as they are spelt, at the same time that I hear them in my head, so a bit like having subtitles on the radio. At the same time I may have images in my head too: moving or stills, although the telly part is unreliable if I’m trying to remember directions - bits fade out, like I’m trying to read in a dream. Music is a funny one; I wake up with my own very bad, very annoying cover version of a particular song or tune.

None of this is in any way organised. It all sort of fades and overlaps on itself, occasionally coalescing into something like an idea. If I make an effort, I might sometimes turn it into a vaguely readable piece of writing - but it takes, not willpower, but a level of guile to try and persuade that lot to work together. I often wish it wasn’t such a mess.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/11/2022 23:07

My thoughts aren’t organised in any way like the way you describe.

My thoughts just happen one after the other!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/11/2022 23:08

It's a mixture for me.

Sometimes, it's rather like the school Physics lesson where they show the movement of molecules as a substance is heated under pressure, where each molecule is a thought, a thing to do, the different parts of the task all like the different electrons/protons enclosed in a shell, all bouncing around and colliding with other tasks, creating heat (stress) until I have to effectively run away, be outside and pretty much allow the ideas to become a gas and escape my head before they create a runaway reaction and I do a Chernobyl style meltdown.

Other times, rather than the tiny space, I can breathe and open my arms out, wave my hands around inside and 'pick' certain ideas, open them out, examine the parts, stand inside them, make changes, link them with other ideas and tasks and generally tidy things up. Kind of like having a holographic model of the Death Star where you can be outside in your x wing, then zoom along a service channel until you're in through a ventilation duct and then expand it out to see each section in perfect detail.

The best I can do at work is try to get most of the shit out of my head by putting it in different places - on a huge whiteboard, in specific places where I can see myself reaching for it without needing to actually pick it up (or just do the action of reaching for it). I do a fair bit of standing and waving my arms around and staring off into space whilst stuff pings into focus and reach before sitting back down and then committing myself to text - when there are a high number of complex things all rattling around at once, I sometimes rearrange and tidy to get things sorted in my head whilst physically occupied.

Thankfully, my employers are incredibly tolerant of me and my weird ways - they let me work exactly how I find it easiest as much as possible, as when I am free to do that, complete with at least three plants, copious amounts of black coffee and limited noise from others (and I'm not expected to respond to emails instantly as experience tells them that distracting me causes issues - if something's urgent, people come and talk to me), I am productive and keep what feels like ten thousand things on the go at once. They do say that my corner gives them a fairly good idea of what it's like in my head, but in reality, they have no idea, as it's clean and orderly and meticulously labelled. Which my head certainly isn't. Although my boards can be a little intimidating when they see just how much is going on inside, apparently.

Everybody posting who describes what, to me, would be a relatively clean space in their heads with just a few things to untangle or put away - you are so bloody lucky. I wish my head was as tidy and quiet.

NooNooHead1981 · 18/11/2022 23:14

@DatasCat my thinking used to be like yours, before I had my head injury. I really miss being able to see words and images and moving videos in my mind's eye. It's dark, empty and quiet in there now and I feel kind of a shell of the person I used to be. 😢💔

DatasCat · 18/11/2022 23:17

Can I ask those of you who have more vivid thinking (not sure quite how to describe it) whether you are good at remembering peoples' names when you meet them?

I can remember and recognise people’s faces and what they look like. But their names are like badges made of Post-it notes stuck on clothes: constantly falling off. It takes some individual attention to upgrade the badges!

Watchthesunrise · 18/11/2022 23:57

I'm definitely audial and hear my thoughts. Very active internal monologue.

Doodadoo · 21/11/2022 14:20

AriettyHomily · 18/11/2022 19:33

@Doodadoo I'm a PM 😂

PMSL!

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