Mumsnet is making me fear that many people are toxic

[susan12345678]

I've been reading a few threads recently, in which people discuss rather everyday type problems, usually involving poor or inappropriate behavior by one or more people, but nothing dramatically awful or unforgivable...

And so many posters seem to respond to these scenarios with such judgemental, angry, and unforgiving attitudes. Their anger may be directed at the OP, or at the person/people the Op is complaining about. In the latter case, they may at least feel they are being supportive, but often the tone is so unpleasant and toxic.

People I know - friends and acquaintances - don't generally express opinions like this. It makes me wonder whether people's private thoughts are more harsh and unkind than they let on publically - or is it just that bad-tempered people are more likely to post?

Welcome to MN

People's private thoughts are definitely harsher. I can't even count the number of times I've been supportive to a friend or colleague in real life but have at the same time been thinking 'I wish you would just shut up and fuck off'. The internet is full of those private thoughts...

Everyone is gaslighting you, even your kids.

Your spouse didn't wash the dishes? Your marriage is over, LTB!!

You have money? You're the devil, die.

I could go on and on.

It's entertainment though and every now and then, a beautiful resource of support and kindness when people really need it.

I agree. Often on here I see responses that use unnecessarily harsh language. Usually the OP is just looking for advice but the responses often start with ‘Good God,….etc’.

Of course people's private thoughts are more harsh than they let on - a lot of things just aren't socially acceptable to actually say.

🤣 spot on.

Brave (not) keyboard warriors who wouldn’t say boo to a goose in real life.

Some people I suspect are unhappy in their lives and come here to unleash.

This! I struggle to believe that yours aren't OP? You've never sat there nodding along while thinking For fecks sake this is so boring or ffs who cares or well you were being an idiot what did you expect? I think the vast majority of people have these thoughts it would just be mayhem if we all let them out.

Is this your first day on the internet?

This! I struggle to believe that yours aren't OP? You've never sat there nodding along while thinking For fecks sake this is so boring or ffs who cares or well you were being an idiot what did you expect? I think the vast majority of people have these thoughts it would just be mayhem if we all let them out

Yes, of course, I have uncharitable thoughts at times, too. But the examples I'm thinking about just seem so extreme. I'm often reading and thinking to myself, 'Wow, that's a bit harsh!'

Jesus got it right:
"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." (Matthew 15.19)