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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think friend cannot be saved?

2 replies

PlinkPlonkFizz · 17/11/2022 17:58

I'm very worried about a friend whose mental health seems fragile and getting worse. I think she has an eating disorder (size 6, not naturally) and she's increasingly uptight, judgemental and rigid in her thinking, always on edge, walking fast, dismissive and wound too tight. She has been to a few counselling sessions but dismissed going to any more as she announced "I'm fine".

She told me her husband said to her "just take the meds" the ADs that had been offered to her, but she's insistent she doesn't want them - I suspect because she thinks she might gain weight. I see her making nearly all her judgements based on fear including decisions for her kids.

She's even told her daughters they'll be fat if they eat a second biscuit (terrified they'll be overweight), I told her that was borderline abusive and she didn't talk to me for a while. A while ago I gently suggested she should maybe consider ADs (as I've had a good experience on them for anxiety and OCD) and she lost the plot completely and was really horrible to me.

Things have never been quite the same since despite us remaining friends, in theory. I'm torn between wishing I could help her but also TBH - and I don't like admitting this - I feel like avoiding her, because she is very heavy going these days with criticising the world and trauma dumping the whole time, and I'm not in a good place mentally at the moment either.

Is there any way to help someone resistant to help, or do you just have to distance?

OP posts:
HamIsMyCake · 17/11/2022 18:05

you are not being unreasonable at all but I don’t know what the solution is if she refuses to accept help.

Georgeskitchen · 17/11/2022 19:14

It sounds like you've done the best you can to help her and it seems she is draining any compassion you had out of you.
If she refuses to engage there's nothing more you can do.
Just leave her to it

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