To not go to Xmas party?

[dearohdeary]

I work from home 1 day a week for childcare drop off and pick ups mainly. Commute is 45 mins each way to the office. Anyway the team are having an office party on the day I wfh. I said no as I don't want to drive all that way for a couple of hours. Also I don't want to set a precedence ie. Well she came in that week so she can do others etc.

Aibu?

Well I’d probably try to be flexible if I could be, maybe swap it for a different day wfh that week, but if you can’t you can’t. It doesn’t give the greatest impression of your commitment or interest in your team though - only you know if that matters or not. It would also depend if we’re talking about a team of six, in which case they ought to arrange around people’s commitments like wfh, or a company wide thing where they’ve got to accommodate a couple of hundred people and can’t please everyone.

If you don’t want to go, don’t go. It would only be unreasonable of you if you always decline social events and then complained that you felt on the peripherary of your team or that other colleagues had stronger relationships and more camaraderie with each other.

Set a precedence? You’re not the queen. Im sure people aren’t fussed either way if you go or not - now or to future events.

Either go, ask to swap your days for that week or just say no.

You’re not the queen. Im sure people aren’t fussed either way if you go or not - now or to future events

depends on the work culture though, I've worked in places in which it was heavily frowned upon if you didn't go by mgmt.

I would show a little flexibility in this instance. They are trying to include you. Why do you think it will set a precidense? I could that could be the case if it was work, but it's a party. Also, there might time where you would have to rejig things to swap your wfh day. I have worked flexible pt hours for nearly 15 years and it's a two way street. I think you should make an effort to accommodate.

Reasonable to decline, well in advance.

I work only four days a week and no-one even dares ask me to work on the non-work day and swap my days off. They know what the answer would be.

I’m not going to mine - if you don’t want to go, don’t. There is no law that says you have to. If you don’t go there might be a few ‘ooo isn’t XX coming?’ But people will forget and just be getting drunk anyway!

If you don’t want to go, don’t go.

I’m going to my department meal/drinks but not the firm party because the latter is generally a bit rubbish.

Could you wfh on a different day that week?

No need to attend if you don’t want to but seems a shame to miss out for fear of setting a precedent.