Joint party for brothers age 3 & 10

[Sidking]

My 2 boys have birthdays 8 days apart, so I've been thinking about hiring the local village hall and having a joint party for them, there would be no family (we live miles away) so it would be older sons friends from school, and younger sons from nursery.

I thought it would be great, we could hire a bouncy castle and a ball pit, have music and party food. We have one of those parachute things so could play games on that too. If the hall is big enough I would want 2 bouncy castles, one for big kids and one for the smalls.

But is it social suicide for my 10 year old? His 3 closest friends wouldn't think anything of it (one actively involved my toddler in their games) but I'm not sure about the wider social group. Is it completely uncool to have a joint party with completely different age groups?

We had one last year but that was in our hometown, with family and my friends and their kids of mixed ages.

YABU - totally uncool, FFS don't do that to him
YANBU - your 9/10yo wouldn't be bat an eye

I have two sons with 4 year age gap and birthdays two weeks apart.
They had joint birthday parties at a soft play centre when 4/8 for a couple of years.
Worked well for them as they were with other children of varying ages when actually playing, and then everyone gathered at tables for the food and cake bit with seating based on the two groups.

This was 20 years back, so I don't know if expectation has changed from part goers of that age and yours is a bigger age gap.

When they were older they had separate events like paint-balling where there were either age restrictions or the elder ones would have slaughtered the younger ones although it was mainly me getting shot as the larger target

My son wouldn't want that sort of party (also very young for his age with ADHD and autism), bouncy castles and ball pits don't interest him at all. He and his friends like things like laser quest, football parties, Go Ape, bowling etc.
Fine for a toddler party, but give the elder boy a celebration of his own.

I can imagine a disco would be fine for both ages, why not have a bounce castle first and invite the little ones then and hour and a half later have a disco?

This. I'd be really worried about my 3 year old at a party full of hyper 10 year old's.

Please don’t there is three years between me and my sibling and I still remember the horrible horrible joint parties.

little kids are obsessed with older ones too so they never get away.

I appreciate your son is on the younger end of his peers - but honestly at that age the bouncy castle will either be an absolute mosh pit and considered very uncool.

Perhaps see if the company has a more obstacle-based equipment? and no I would not let 3 year olds and 10 year olds together it is asking for disaster if a 3 year old is wiped out by an "enthusiastic" ten year old.

Can you split the time - so 3 year old earlier and then 10 year old?

A ten year old won't want a load of babies there

A school mum friend done this for her DS's birthdays . Similar age gap. Oh it was a disaster. Older kids went absolutely mental and the little ones were getting hurt and had no chance of going on the bouncy castle . Little ones being knocked down and basically 2 hours of crying . It's not worth it .

The village hall and a bouncy castle parties stop at around age 6 / 7 here. After that it tends to be smaller groups bowling or trampoline park or something like that.

Could you hire the hall and bouncy castle and do 2 shifts so little ones in the morning and big ones in the afternoon? Obviously a lot of work but it would cut costs. And you could tailor each party to their age group so the party games, parachute, ball pit etc for the teenies and then a more grown up nerf gun or disco or whatever DS wants for the big ones.

Bit children are always an unintentional danger to little children when you are running around.

2019 we took him and his bestie to the Legoland in Birmingham, and last year we went to a trampoline park with 2 friends, so I promise we aren't shit at birthdays in general 🤣

We've been saving for the eldest's birthday present (he needs a new pc) and by their birthdays should have enough saved to do something like a party, and I thought 'oh! We could afford to rent the hall and a bouncy castle and invite everyone instead of just 1 or 2 friends!' and thought it could be nice to join them so the younger one has a party too 😅

But we'll have another day out somewhere, I'll give him a few options, maybe go karting with 5 of his mates (6 minimum) or something.

The toddler makes it difficult to do stuff, obviously we both want to be there for eldest's birthday celebration, but that means the toddler has to come, and he very much doesn't believe he's only small and is adamant that whatever his brother can do he can also do (and TBF to him, he absolutely can in most cases!), but height and age restrictions mean he can't. So either dad has to miss the party, we find something small can join in with, or we spend 2 hours having to deal with the Tasmanian devil kicking off because he wants to drive/trampoline/play guns etc too

Your 10yo might not mind is hes young for his age but his friends might and take the piss.
I'd be very concerned about how it's perceived by others in his peer group and impact it could have
I have a 10yo and wouldn't consider it

The ten year olds would be mortified to be going to a party involving three year olds.
I would take the the ten year old out with some friends to somewhere like the cinema, bowling, trampoline park, go-kart racing etc.

Party for younger one and invite 10 year olds best friends. Then do something just for 10 Yr old

Party for the youngest, friend over for pizza, film and sleepover for the eldest?

My 9 yo son says he would enjoy it, so he's the exception!

However he and his fronds are like rampaging bulls so there would be 3 year olds being knocked over left right and centre