To question motivation

[NotAnotherCrisis]

Just started a new job. My boss makes a point of asking me to do things verbally, I'm keen to please so I do it immediately then I get an email telling me off. AIBU to wonder why she does this? It's destroying my self esteem and she hasn't said a single positive thing to me since I started whereas my other seniors have.

FWIW the things that she's asked me to do are nearly always unambiguous and completely straightforward, imagine 'send this document to x', so it's not like I am doing the tasks wrong or badly.

I have my ideas about why this is happening but would really appreciate some surface level, unbiased insight first as I'm getting sensitive and paranoid about it.

You'd need to give examples of the 'telling off' emails. Do you answer them via email, so you get your point across? It sounds as though she enjoys the power, or wants you gone.

@Ponoka7 "NotAnotherCrisis, we need to have a conversation about the level of autonomy you're allowed to have", replied to an email that I had copied her in to (she has asked to be copied into all my emails pretty much) doing a task she asked me to do.

It makes me feel like I'm going mad.

I think your second theory, that she wants me out is bang on the money.

Very odd.
Short term, start dropping her an email to confirm what she wants you to do before acting on her requests.

This is very odd.

NotAnotherCrisis, we need to have a conversation about the level of autonomy you're allowed to have

Just based on this email alone, I would be furious about her management style.
I hate emails like this.

Either have the conversation with me or let me do my work, but dont "pre-warn" me.
It such a general statement, and it's designed to make you worry.

@Mamarsupial yes short term I'm going to do just that. Long term I think the trust needed for this job to work is breaking down. She wants me to tell her every time I talk to anyone to OK it, except my role is a communication and strategy one (mid management level) and she rarely replies to emails where I've asked to speak to someone so I have no fucking work to do. Going to look great at probation meetings.

@minou123 agree, it made me feel awful, it was the first thing I saw when I sat down on Monday. Bitterly regretting leaving my last delightful manager.

"Do you answer them via email, so you get your point across? It sounds as though she enjoys the power, or wants you gone."

I do reply to the emails but had been a bit too meek I think saying "I had thought we agreed xyz" instead of "you told me expressly to do xyz"

I have two disabled children, her senior who hired me was aware of this but my line manager wasn't. I've had to leave early on a couple of occasions and make up the work after. This wasn't a problem in my last workplace and they're not outright saying it's a problem here but there's been a bad feeling ever since.