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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still buy clothes from charity shops?

154 replies

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 17/11/2022 07:37

Been discussed on MN before but would appreciate some help getting my head around a heated debate last night.

I’ve bought clothes from charity shops ever since I started work over 30 years ago. Couldn’t afford a full work wardrobe, discovered charity shops and never looked back.
I am now financially very comfortable. I still browse the charity shops, and still buy from there If I see something that looks like new that I really like. I also buy books and other things eg an old fashioned trifle bowl and some unusual vases.
Somehow the conversation came round to charity shops at my book club last night. I know from previous discussions that most of them wouldn’t dream of buying second hand clothes. A few of us do - the need to spend money wisely never leaves you and I’ll admit to loving the thrill of finding a bargain.
So we revisited that old discussion but with the added very vocal suggestion that it is incredibly wrong of us to continue buying clothes from charity shops in the current economic climate, as we are taking away the opportunity for people struggling financially to buy those clothes.
I was taken aback at the strength of feeling about this, quite vitriolic.
I’d accept it more if we were rinsing the shops and if the shops were short of stock. But between us I think we had bought 10 items this year; we have at least 7 charity shops in our small town centre (all well stocked) and the next town similar.
While I appreciate the charity benefits whoever buys from them, I am now conflicted. I honestly can’t see that buying a few bits from a charity shop is taking stuff away from those that need it (on the basis that there is plenty of stock in the shops, of which there are many). On the other hand maybe they have a valid point. But then if those clothes didn’t get bought the charity would lose out.
I’ve been going round and round on this since I woke up, hence posting. Re-reading this it does sound like I am making something out of nothing but the accusations became quite unpleasant, and I found myself unusually shaken by them so am just trying to process it.
Thank you for reading, sorry it got so long!

OP posts:
2greenroses · 17/11/2022 07:40

Of course you should shop in charity shops.

It supports the charity and protects the environment

And if you contribute many clothes back there too, so you are not even reducing the choice available to others.

MerryChristmasToYou · 17/11/2022 07:42

The shops are there to raise money for the charities.

SirMingeALot · 17/11/2022 07:43

Of course you should. You're helping the shops raise money for the charity's cause, which us what they're actually for. And there's a resultant benefit to the environment.

HeraldicBlazoning · 17/11/2022 07:44

MerryChristmasToYou · 17/11/2022 07:42

The shops are there to raise money for the charities.

Exactly.

I am a volunteer in one and this idea that we should somehow evaluate the "worthiness" of the customers before we sell to them is very weird.

MadameSzyszkoBohusz · 17/11/2022 07:44

I regularly shop in charity shops, and I regularly donate to them. I can afford to buy new but it's more environmentally friendly, plus I can put together a more unique style that way.

I think as long as you donate (decent quality) items as well, it's fine.

Beamur · 17/11/2022 07:44

Your friends are weird.
Charity shops are there to raise money for charity - not to clothe the 'poor' per se. The more stuff they sell the better.
It's environmentally friendly to reuse and recycle items.

Ivyonafence · 17/11/2022 07:45

Keep buying clothes from charity shops. The average person bins kilos of clothes per year. Textile waste is a massive environmental issue. There is no shortage of clothes, on the contrary far too many clothes are produced.

Keeping clothes in circulation is a good thing to do. Keep buying and donating to charity shops, it's better for everyone in the long run.

If you feel guilty that people are going without, make a cash donation to a charity that supports them.

TortillaChipAddict · 17/11/2022 07:45

I don’t see them as being charitable to the people shopping at them, they raise money for their charities. I shop almost exclusively in charity shops. I’m not on a massive income but I could afford to buy my clothes from eg primark, H&M. I don’t want to do that because I don’t want to support the fashion industry for environmental reasons. There are so many clothes being donated nowadays I don’t think it’s taking them from other people.

Hooverphobe · 17/11/2022 07:47

I think if you’re in a relatively good financial position then you’re likely the kind who every time they buy something, they’re also donating a few “quality” items - not donating primark or selling them on eBay.

I love a bargain - plant pot last week - I donated perfumes, an unopened electric item, toys, etc. if I come out with less than I take in them surely that’s a win for the charity!

Original poster
RockingMyFiftiesNot · 17/11/2022 07:47

And if you contribute many clothes back there too, so you are not even reducing the choice available to others.

Ah yea, meant to put that in the OP. I do take clothes that still have a lot of wear in them to charity shops. But those saying we shouldn't shop there do too 'not just to help the charity but to help those that can't afford new' - another reason they thought we shouldn't be buying from there.

Sorry that was one of the points I meant to add upfront

OP posts:
IglesiasPiggl · 17/11/2022 07:48

Sounds like they are hiding behind being offended on the behalf of others to justify the fact that they think they are above buying in charity shops. I bet lots of people who they think "should" shop in charity shops don't actually want to. Crack on - it's better for the environment and raises money for the charity.

Dogtooth · 17/11/2022 07:49

Pretty much all of my clothes are secondhand. It's what charity shops are for.

Bit of a sweeping statement but many people on low incomes would rather buy something cheap and new from Primark/Peacocks etc. Feels more dignified if you don't have much money. I try to buy better quality secondhand.

ElmoNeedsThePotty · 17/11/2022 07:49

If they are anything like our charity shops it is cheaper for those who might need to use them to shop in the likes of Primark and George and buy new.

Crack on OP.

BlueWalnut · 17/11/2022 07:50

They are there raise funds for the charity and keep stuff out of landfill. If they can raise prices they will, as costs are going up for charities as much as everyone else. Imagine having to pay the heating bill of a hospice or an animal rescue centre now the energy prices have shot up.

carefulcalculator · 17/11/2022 07:50

They're being ridiculous, stop giving it headspace. Anyone who is 'vitriolic' over something like this has issues, this is not your problem.

LemonsOnSaleAgain · 17/11/2022 07:51

I bought my wedding dress from an eBay seller for charity. It was good to know that I was helping out the charity by buying a dress that I really wanted to wear.

Your friends have an outdated view of charity shops. If someone is really in need in my local area there are food banks and other local initiatives that will provide them with donated warm clothes in good condition.

DashboardConfessional · 17/11/2022 07:51

I buy from them, but I also donate to them as opposed to selling on Vinted/eBay. I think supporting them in both ways is "ideal" but shops are shops, in the end.

Original poster
RockingMyFiftiesNot · 17/11/2022 07:52

I know that the charity shops are there to make money for the charity, not to clothe the less well off. But I can see the argument that says now more than ever, people who don't have much money really do need access to cheap clothing. However, there really is no shortage of stock in our area.

Thanks for all your comments, I'm feeling better about it now

OP posts:
TheMatlockMangle · 17/11/2022 07:55

How did you stop yourself from laughing in their faces? They're being ridiculous. I suppose they never buy anything in a sale or on the reduced rack either, because others need it more. Virtue signalling morons.

Needmorelego · 17/11/2022 07:58

I buy mostly books and toys from charity shops.
It's not because I am 'poor' it's because I want specific things that I can only get secondhand - I collect old books for example. Sometimes I buy from a secondhand book shop, sometimes a car boot sale, collectors fair or....a charity shop. I buy it because it's there and I want it.
My teenage daughter has recently started to experiment with clothes and loves a good charity shop rummage. She got a pair of dungarees last weekend which she has worn every day this week. She's actually wanted a pair for a while but we haven't found any in the shops. If Primark/H+M/Peacocks had some we would probably have got them there. But they didn't and we were lucky to find this pair in a charity shop. Again... not about being 'poor'. She just wanted dungarees.

romdowa · 17/11/2022 07:58

With some of the pricing in charity shops these days , the less well off can't afford to shop in charity shops . Our local ones are extortionate. Definite cheaper to shop in primark etc

loveisanopensore · 17/11/2022 07:58

The quality of older clothes is better.
I have a wool Hobbs skirt I bought in Oxfam 13 years ago and it's still going. I think it was new in the mid eighties.

There's enough stuff in the world, better to reduce and reuse.

OoooohMatron · 17/11/2022 07:59

YANBU. They sound ridiculous!

GimmeSleep · 17/11/2022 07:59

Charity shops aren't there for people less well off (although they can be a help to them) they exist to raise money for the charity.

tuvamoodyson · 17/11/2022 08:00

I am in a fortunate financial position. I donate a lot of stuff to charity shops, clothes/homeware/accessories etc, I also buy a lot, in fact I was out on Sunday and everything I was wearing (apart from my underwear!) was from charity shops!