I’ve always had a bit of an odd relationship with them, some of the dynamics are super toxic. I live with my parents at the moment. I’m 26. Desperately looking to move out, but struggling to find a flatmate and can’t afford to rent alone.
They just seem to think I’m incapable of anything and have some really strange views. One example is when I was talking about moving to the big city for work, they ridiculed me about how I wouldn’t cope, how stupid I’d be to piss away money and I couldn’t do it. I Bearing in mind I went to uni for 3 years and paid my own way. I struggled a bit mentally but a lot of people do.
I’ve never brought friends round either.
Another example is when I met my ex last year, I was excited to bring him round after a few months and for them to meet him, but they always said things like “why do we have to be involved/brought into your dramas” and “it’s too soon” etc. I couldn’t bring him round for months and months. I just feel like they couldn’t just be happy for me. When he did eventually come round, I got a bollocking about how we “hung about downstairs for too long” and “why did you leave him on his own to talk to us”.
Granted, my past relationships haven’t worked out and that one didn’t either. We split 5 months ago and now I’m in the stages of talking to somebody new at the moment who seems extremely good for me. I’m excited at the prospect of how it’s all going and I’m feeling really positive, but I’m genuinely so nervous about telling people. I just know my parents would ridicule me for example “it’s too soon” “you jump into things” which I really don’t think I do at all. Also, my sister just jumped into a relationship after 9 years with her ex, and they’re super happy for her.
I live so much of my life caring about what they think and I almost can’t let myself be happy because of it.
Just another thing happened that tonight as well. I was thinking of going to Thailand alone at Christmas/new year whilst I can, and have time off work. I asked my parents for advice about whether I should spend the money on the flights as they’re expensive, but I would like to go somewhere hot.
Mum suggested Spain or France, and I questioned whether it’d be warm. Dad suggested I could get a cruise or interrail across Europe to eventually get to a hot country. I considered both ideas.
Mum then got super defensive, saying “hang on, all you did was shoot my ideas down, and yet Dad says to go to Europe and you’re all in”. Basically making it all about her when I was just trying to have a discussion.
I simply said I’m not doing this, and no wonder I want to get away for Christmas.
I have really had enough…