To want to know how to increase my self-esteem and confidence?

[lowselfesteemx]

I've always had really, really low self-esteem. I always presume I'm bad at things, people don't like me, I'm a burden, I'm unlikeable. It's so sad looking back at my life and realising how much it's affected me. I saw a photograph of me earlier from when I was around 8 years old at a maths competition the local primary schools did which I won. I remember when taking the photograph how misplaced I felt and that I had just got lucky or they felt sorry for me, or there was nobody better so it was an easy year to win/they were lumbered with me winning.

Does anyone have any advice on how to increase my self-esteem, like tangible actions I can make? I'm in my 20s and have started a good career, but it still follows me around.

I think it’s more thought processes than actions.

Thoughts lead to feelings.

So pick your thoughts carefully, or at least give more attention to compassionate thoughts than you do to non-compassionate thoughts.

And be compassionate towards your non-compassionate thoughts!

Compassion compassion compassion basically.

Headspace is a good app to practice developing a non-judgemental observer self so you can watch your thoughts/feelings go past without judgement or getting wrapped up in them.

My advice is sort it now. I'm in my late 40s and feel like I've held back from so much and how much I've missed out on because of my own failings.

There was a thread on here recently about people with good self esteem and how they talk to themselves which I thought was really interesting.

Good luck xx

The first step is to identify where the feelings come from. I had low self esteem due to a mother that always put me down. Over time I came to realise she was projecting and everything negative she said about me were things she thought about herself. Once I’d unpicked that, it was far easier for me to see that I actually possessed a lot of positive qualities and my self esteem improved from there.

It's a mindset. It's about recognition of what your strengths are and owning them. It's about realistic expectations of yourself. Applying the logic to things instead of the negative eg: they only invited me because they felt sorry for me, logically should be, I only invite people I like to spend time with to things, they therefore must have invited me because they enjoy my company.
It's also about realising you cannot change others actions, only your reactions. Same with thoughts, you are in control of them, they don't control you.
It's not easy, it's hard work but know your worth and respect that.