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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'You should write a book'

62 replies

Bunnynames101 · 15/11/2022 22:38

Am I correct in thinking this is an insult of sorts, or a 'polite' way of telling someone you think they're talking BS? Or do you say it when you genuinely think someone should write an actual book?

So

YABU - it's meant sincerely, recipient should write a book.

YANBU - it's a way of saying you think they're talking a load of rubbish.

Sorry for hijacking AIBU for the voting...

OP posts:
Muddays · 16/11/2022 04:25

@Bunnynames101 sorry but in your case I think they're being kind. You're definitely not remotely book material from the absolute outset and every dull comment that followed. So move on eh?

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/11/2022 04:53

It does depend very much on context.

I have had it said to me (also 'please write a book' and 'when are you writing a book') more times than I can count... but not about my life experiences (which are weird, varied sometimes horrid and often a bit surreal), just about the Thing that I Do...

So in that context I do think people are honestly saying they'd want to read what I wrote.

I have never as far as I know had it said as an insult... but I also haven't had it said as a response to conversation, usually its a response to reading something I have written.

I don't think it is as clear cut in your situation - I think you need to evaluate the context, consider whether you have been waffling on or overloading people with perhaps TMI, and then see if you think they're trying to tell you to shut up or would genuinely want to read it.

Bunnynames101 · 16/11/2022 04:59

ImustLearn2Cook · 16/11/2022 04:25

Would you like to write a book? If you’ve come through the adversity, made it to where you are now with a sense of humour intact then maybe people would be interested in your story.

No interest in writing a book. Just enjoy chatting with friends. But I'm seeing I'm right in thinking I just need to shut up. I think some of you are just being kind. Thanks Mumsnetters for helping me put that to rest in my head.

OP posts:
ToastAndJames · 16/11/2022 05:06

It’s really not possible to say without being there but probably either “what an interesting life!” or “what a lot of unsolicited information!”

I definitely wouldn’t assume they think you’re lying.

Januarcelebration · 16/11/2022 05:10

Honestly, I would think one of 3 things

Either you tell a story fantastically

You turn a lot of conversations to you and always have a more dramatic story than everyone else/overcome more than everyone else

Or are lying/exaggerating

I have rarely heard anyone say it genuinely meaning

Januarcelebration · 16/11/2022 05:11

Pressed post to soon.

I have rarely heard anyone saying it, genuinely meaning it.

JacobReesMoggsSocialConscience · 16/11/2022 05:21

Depends on context, but most frequently either (1) so much has happened that it would make an interesting book - not necessarily that you actually should or could write the book (it's not as easy as people think it is to write a good and marketable book) OR (2) please go away and write this down rather than continuing to tell me about it.

Cancelledtwiceover · 16/11/2022 09:50

No interest in writing a book. Just enjoy chatting with friends. But I'm seeing I'm right in thinking I just need to shut up. I think some of you are just being kind. Thanks Mumsnetters for helping me put that to rest in my head.
Unless you've got really shit friends I can't imagine ever trying to shut down a friend in that way, they are more likely to be genuinely interested in the difference between your life now, compared to what it was then.
Ignore the horrible poster suggesting otherwise, they must be very dull to need to be so nasty to get attention.

2ndTimeRound90 · 16/11/2022 21:03

I've never heard it used as an insult. More a turn of phrase that means so much terrible/interesting/unusual stuff has happened to someone that they would have enough content for a book...but never to literally mean they should write one. It's not a negative saying at all in my experience!

xJ0y · 16/11/2022 21:05

Interesting question. I've been told this many times and I do tend to overshare. [blush

OldFan · 16/11/2022 21:10

I would say it's meant genuinely. A lot of people have experienced all sorts of things. It'd be interesting to hear about them.

OldFan · 16/11/2022 21:13

I did Youtubes about all my (significant and that I wanted to share) relationships. It was very therapeutic.

A friend wrote a book about our teens/20s and the pagan scene we were into and that was fun.

Another woman had experienced dramatic stuff with her father, brother, and husband. That would've made a gripping book too.

5YearsLeft · 16/11/2022 21:44

People say this to me somewhat often, even though in real life, I’m very careful about how much (time-wise) I share and to ensure that I’m not either taking over a conversation (always a risk, and people constantly do it to each other) OR being the kind of person that claims if you’ve been to Tenerife, then I’ve been to Elevenerife, even about sad issues and health problems.

In my experience, it seems to be that people say it to me when I cope by using humor. I’m obviously dying, I don’t hide it, but the whole experience is so ridiculous and awful that you HAVE to have a laugh about it, and then people trot out the, “You should write a book” line at me. I’m not sure if they want to know HOW I laugh my way through dying, or WHY I do it (I’m working on that with my therapist, ha - pay your own bloody therapist), or HOW to do it themselves, should they ever need this valuable skill, in which case I should write a book and charge a mint and teach one of those fancy Masterclasses on how to die while laughing like a loon.

It’s partially genetic, though the grandparents that passed it to me are dead now themselves, ha. But my grandfather was the same way - he could tell the story of how he was sent with the Armed Forces and he was only supposed to be gone training domestically a few months, and instead he got home from fighting abroad three years later. Of course, at the time, it was awful for him, but telling the story, he always made it sound like some hilarious paperwork cock-up, and the “fellows in charge” just forgot where they put him for three years, which his mother was very unimpressed with. People were always laughing with him and then telling him to write a book about his life.

I don’t think I’ve ever said it to anyone unless it’s because I thought their life, or something about the way they live it, is interesting enough that I’d read the book (never worried about them lying). Otherwise, it seems an unkind thing to say - if you’re accusing someone of lying, or want to shut them up. Though I know some people do go on a bit. I admit I type long comments on MN, but I always assume people can skip my comments and I type so quickly; I’d NEVER talk this much, especially about myself, in real life.

How2Support · 16/11/2022 21:45

You are very quick to dismiss yourself . At this point the poll is showing 3/4 of people think YABU i.e. they don't think a person is lying when they use that turn of phrase. People who have faced early and significant trauma can be "over sharers" AND over thinkers. It might help to get some counselling if you can, to work through your feelings about how you are sharing info and how people respond. And how you interpret that response.

UsingChangeofName · 16/11/2022 21:51

It definitely isn't said as "an insult of sorts, or a 'polite' way of telling someone you think they're talking BS?". It would never enter my head that someone could interpret it like that.

Although I don't think people mean you literally should write a book.

It's an expression... a way of saying "wow, you've had a lot of interesting things happen to you"

BigScreen · 16/11/2022 22:03

In that context I'd think they found your story very interesting and think you should write a book.

I sometimes ready threads on here and think people should write a book, either because their writing is funny/engaging or because it's a crazy / out of the ordinary story they have to tell.

IncessantNameChanger · 16/11/2022 22:06

I said yabu as people say thos to me. Something has happened to me and its so ludicrous it's unbelievable.

I'm seriously considering writing that book

OldFan · 16/11/2022 22:12

I'm seriously considering writing that book

Go for it @IncessantNameChanger and everyone else.

I agree with the PP about MN threads, I would read a compilation of the dramatic etc ones (do every day really.)

IncessantNameChanger · 16/11/2022 22:15

I have been planning on doing just that, was thinking about it again this week. I sometimes say my story is too far fetched for Eastenders!

I went to to the press one day and made the front page!

Lougle · 16/11/2022 22:31

People say this to me. I'm assured that it's because they find my descriptions of (very mundane) situations interesting.

It's interesting how many different interpretations of 'You should write a book' there can be though.

Chardonnay73 · 16/11/2022 22:36

I’ve had this said to me, several times. If I wrote a list of things that had happened to me, even I would look back and go wtf!!!
i (think) it’s only ever been said with love and a ‘wow’ vibe from people. I could be wrong though 🤷‍♀️

LadyOfTheCanyon · 17/11/2022 02:58

I absolutely admit to using the phrase to close down a conversation which has been a bit waffly and anecdote heavy. It's not something I would say to a close friend - definitely a way of punctuating a conversation with an acquaintance or stranger in a way that means "please talk about something else!"

CulturePigeon · 17/11/2022 07:48

Slightly different angle...

One of my friend's mothers was an author of romances back in the the 70s/80s - not Booker Prize candidates - but good page-turners. She'd come from a difficult non-affluent background and had grafted very hard to support herself and her children through her writing. She used to be irritated by people who, on learning she was a novelist (she never volunteered this or bragged) would declare 'Oh, I think I've got a book in me. I often think I could write a novel!'

This infuriated her, knowing as she did just how hard writing a novel is and how very hard it is to actually get someone to publish it (unless you're a celebrity, in which case they'll beg you to do it even if you can't string a sentence together).

FirewomanSam · 17/11/2022 07:53

Muddays · 16/11/2022 04:25

@Bunnynames101 sorry but in your case I think they're being kind. You're definitely not remotely book material from the absolute outset and every dull comment that followed. So move on eh?

WTF? Why be so nasty? Who are you to judge whether OP’s life is ‘book material’ based on three Mumsnet posts? Did writing your mean comment give you a nice little boost this morning? Make you feel really good about yourself to give OP a kicking before breakfast? Some people here are just so nasty for no reason.

ObjectionSustained · 17/11/2022 07:57

If I ever (very rarely) bring up my childhood/teen years to anyone, I usually get met with 'bloody hell you should write a book.'

I had an alcoholic mother and went through hell and back. Stories including me, DM and DF being on holiday in the states when I was about 3ish (very long time ago!) DM drank basically all of the dollars we had away, she and DF had an argument, she called police saying he'd hit her (he never), DF got arrested and DM was taken to hospital due to the level of her intoxication. I was then taken in to a care placement in the states and my DGM had to fly out to get me and my dad. NFA for my dad (he really didn't do anything) and we flew home 3 days later.

Or when my DM kidnapped me and locked us in a hotel room, with police having to bust the door in.

I could go on and on and on.

I don't think it's a bad thing. It's just that the stuff is so shocking, unusual... that people use the phrase to express that. It never occurred to me to think they thought I was lying.

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