Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many of you are just buying for your own children this Xmas?

23 replies

Notaboutthebass · 15/11/2022 17:50

Don't know how I'm going to afford everyones presents this year, we have quite a lot of young kids in the family. Was thinking of mentioning this to them, and I'm sure some will understand but maybe others won't.
Or...what can I get that's just a couple of quid that'll be appreciate, any ideas?

OP posts:
cantthinkofabetterusername · 15/11/2022 17:52

We're just buying for our own kids, everyone's agreed. I have lots of nieces and nephews and every year someone's had a baby so ends up costing more.

Coasterfan · 15/11/2022 17:57

We do a day out in spring instead, a theme park or whatever you fancy so all the kids get together and it reduces the Christmas expense and the amount of stuff they get and is something nice to look forward to. My two are similar in age and interests to their cousins so it works for us, it is essentially using the money we would spend on presents on a day out.

Waitingfordecember · 15/11/2022 18:14

If anyone in my family was struggling I would much rather they say than worry about buying us gifts.

I’d tell people soon though, it’s pretty close to Christmas and some people might not want to buy for you if you’re not buying for their family.

Skinnermarink · 15/11/2022 18:17

No one really needs more stuff. Especially tat that only costs a couple of quid.

I’m not buying anything! Have a few bits it away for DS that I got in sale/charity shops. Puzzle, new pjs, nice books, a few new toys I kept back from his birthday party haul.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 15/11/2022 18:18

We are just buying for immediate family and have for the last few years. So much easier

RobinRobinMouse · 15/11/2022 18:24

I think most people wouldn't mind, but it may be a little late for this year. Could you do a family board game or cheap selection boxes maybe?

Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 15/11/2022 18:27

Thanks everyone. I agree that I'm leaving it late and I like the idea of selection packs, but will still discuss this with them.
To the people that agreed with family, did you message all of them individually or by a group message?

OP posts:
Tangerineartichoke · 15/11/2022 18:28

It can be hard for the person struggling to be the one to say they can't afford it. I think we should all be saying lets not bother with gifts this year. I have already told my Dsis not to buy anything for us. She's got a disability and can't work. She needs her heating on to help her disability. I would much rather she spends her money on her children or bills than worry about affording to get me a gift.

Skinnermarink · 15/11/2022 18:30

I messaged individually. Better to be upfront. Was honest about the fact that we can’t afford it, but also mentioned the flat is small and DS already has a lot of stuff, we are trying to keep clutter to a minimum.

IntrovertedPenguin · 15/11/2022 18:32

I just told them I wasn't buying for anyone other than DC. They were fine about it.

NCFT0922 · 15/11/2022 18:33

Can you put it to them? My sister is struggling this year and is mid reno. She has 13 nieces and nephews and me and my brothers have told her to not to bother this year; none of them want for anything anyway! We’ve all also asked her what she wants so we can get her house things to help her out. My parents are getting her some small furniture items and my brothers and I are getting some soft furnishings.

Beachbabe1 · 15/11/2022 18:34

I'm just buying fir our children. Easier, cheaper and alot less stress! Everyone has happliy agreed. We started doing this a couple of years ago because we were saving for a house but are sticking with it now.

takealettermsjones · 15/11/2022 18:36

I would just tell them, but one year when I had very little money I bought a cheap multipack of red mugs, sachets of hot chocolate, Lidl chocolate coins/candy canes etc. I think it worked out about £1.50 per gift and although there obviously wasn't much in them, they were still well received and appreciated. Obviously depends on the kids' ages though.

NCFT0922 · 15/11/2022 18:38

@takealettermsjones this sounds so nice and my children would love this gift!

Winter2020 · 15/11/2022 18:39

Hi OP,
You might find it easier to tell your family that you are only buying token presents for the kids this year and if it is OK with them you would appreciate it if they only bought token gifts for yours too.

Then yes to selection boxes/sweets etc.

You could send it as a family WhatsApp "Due to rising costs this year ....."

When you see people over Xmas period and chatting you could put out the feelers for cost of living crisis and only buying token presents going forward or would people prefer to only buy only for their own? If it is affordable the idea of all doing something nice together instead of buying presents is good too.

Also an option if it's affordable is to agree to swap £10 in cards so that your kids get the same and at least you can encourage your kids to save the money or choose something they need. Less waste to landfill and you can save that money back later if your kids use their money to get a treat you would have got for them.

You are not unreasonable - everyone tying themselves in knots to buy presents some of which that are never opened or played with is daft.

Justthisonce12 · 15/11/2022 18:41

I have only ever bought for my children and only ever expect to receive gifts from people I am the child of. The whole extended family buying each other tat thing just never sat right with me. Most people do not know me well enough to know what I would spend a tenner on and vice versa.

Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 15/11/2022 18:48

I can't afford £10 in each card for all my nephews and neices! This is what I'm talking about - a selection box rather than £10-15 for each like usual.

OP posts:
Justthisonce12 · 15/11/2022 19:12

Selection box is more than I would bother with so sounds absolutely fine to me

Justthisonce12 · 15/11/2022 19:13

I actually spend more money and get my children to take part in the fact that they are going to spend more money on the Christmas tree tag thing where they give a present to a child that’s gonna get absolutely bugger all versus kids that aren’t even gonna batten eyelid just to whether they get a selection box or not.

BusyMum47 · 15/11/2022 19:58

I know what you mean! We bit the bullet last year & agreed as a family that we'd not buy for all the nieces/nephews/cousins' kids etc. anymore. It had got to the stage that we were spending a couple of hundred quid before we'd even started on our own kids! And for some of the older ones, it had got to the cash/voucher stage anyway - seemed daft to literally just exchange gift cards back & forth.
Everyone was relieved!

Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 15/11/2022 20:12

Thanks everyone. Hope everyone will be as relieved as I will be.
I'm just so shocked at daily living costs at the moment, having to really think about which food to buy and how much fuel I can put in my car etc. And I know that people are far worse off than I am, so I feel lucky that I'm scraping by - just.

OP posts:
SoftSheen · 15/11/2022 20:19

ASDA have got a range of quite big Cadbury and Nestle selection boxes that are only £1.50 at the moment, like [https://groceries.asda.com/product/selection-boxes-tubes/cadbury-large-stocking-chocolate-selection-box/1000318586648 this one.]

Original poster
Notaboutthebass · 15/11/2022 21:33

@SoftSheen thank you for that! X

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread