To be upset with boyfriend over this ?!

[babystarrr67]

Hey everyone pls tell me if i'm over reacting gained a bit of weight since having my son a year ago yes this is no real excuse to not lose weight or find myself again i'm slowly getting there but I just don't feel pretty anymore

I've bought some new outfits to make my self feel a little better and was showing my partner one of the dresses as I tried it on and I said to him oh no babe my tummy looks soo huge in this he literally just stared at me and didn't say a word and then suddenly says why do you look pregnant in my head I didn't know if I should laugh or cry because even though he was telling the truth that yes I do look a lil pregnant but hearing it From the man I love hurts all I just wanted to hear was babe you look amazing

I’ve understood that he asked, ‘why do you look pregnant?’ A question.

That does make him sound either mean or vacuous; but I suppose you could answer him literally with an account of what has happened to your body ante- and post-natally and which parts of your core might be most affected. Give him a physiology lesson.

I never really ‘snapped back’ and it’s not a question of eating lettuce soup.

Maybe he was worried you were pregnant? But it's come out a bit wrong?

Ahhhh op I'm sorry that comment would've really upset me too.
It's one thing for me to say something about myself but then someone else to say it too would really hurt me!
I hope you're ok ♥️

This is a no win situation, instead of answering you he should gone for a walk 😉

Why does he need to work with you to lose weight? You know what you need to do. You asked him looking for a specific answer and he didn't read your mind. You are behaving very childish.

How would he work with you on you losing weight? Do you mean look after the baby so you can join the gym or do you mean policing your diet?

You can only imagine what the hordes would say if a woman posted that her husband offered to work with her to lose weight. She’d be told she could lose 12 stone immediately by LTB or something intended to be equally clever and hilarious.

If you’re not happy with your body or your weight then focus on changing that rather than fixating on his thoughtless comment.

Man tells the truth.

Woman doesn’t like it.

How shocking. 🙄

No of course he doesn't have to lose weight with me but like loom after our son so I can join the gym or even eat healthy at home because i'm mot just losing weight just for looks but to be healthy and it also encourages our son that healthy eating is good

Yes telling someone they look pregnant is rude weather you agree or not why do you think when one of our friends look a little round on their tummy's we are scared to ask the question?

The people saying i'm over reacting you didn't hear his tone you didn't see his actions

Remember it's not what someone says sometimes it's the way they say it

After also I questioned him about it he didn't even say sorry

He was rather insensitive with the words he used, he’d have been better saying the dress wasn’t flattering or something like that. Oh, and “pretty” has nothing to do with your mummy tummy btw.

In the nicest possible way, OP, the problem isn't that he agreed you're fat. The problem is that you are fat.

Hmm, without sounding mean OP, you set him up with a question expecting a specific response from him. He isn't a mind reader. You said yourself that you look "huge" so you were clearly angling the conversation to get something from him to reassure yourself, but in doing so you were expecting him to lie for you.

Just let the poor bloke compliment you without getting upset when he doesn't respond correctly to your preplanned conversations.

Just own it and get down the gym. You'll feel so much better, trust me.

Don't become one of those bitter fat women who blame their weight on everyone else.

I'm surprised he went through the whole pregnancy with you without figuring out that yeah, a baby stretches you out and comes out of your body and naturally you're still going to be puffy and pouchy for a while; you may still "look pregnant" because there's extra fat, etc. from where the baby was. You'll bounce back if you work at it; it can take some time to get back to normal.

If you want to join a gym, do - how is he holding you back? He should be looking after your son half the time (minus whatever he has to do for work, school, etc.) so there should be plenty of time for you to go and leave the baby with him, maybe pick a specific time each day so you all get used to the routine.

Also, buy/cook/eat healthy food for yourself even if he doesn't want it. If it's around, maybe he'll decide he likes it too. If not, there's still time before your baby really knows what anyone else around him is eating.

So you set him up for a question he could never ever win on. Then get angry about his answer? 😳 OK then.

Fuck off with your sanctimonious bullshit

You're already at the bitter stage it seems. You might still be able to turn things around with regular exercise. 😉

🙄

this is what happens when you go fishing for compliments. YABU

“Why do you look pregnant” as a question sounds to me like “why does that dress make you look pregnant?”

I would take from that that he thinks you usually don’t look pregnant and the dress is unflattering

There are ways to agree without being so direct, so I understand why you're upset Be upset but then let it go. Don't overthink it and don't let it consume you.

You're 1 year PP, the first year of having a baby can be really tough, trying to find the time to gym or eat healthy can be difficult as you're getting into routine and rhythm - I couldn't find the time to shower or brush my hair most days let alone find the energy to get on a treadmill. Some bodies take more time than others to get back into shape, and some bodies never do. You birthed a baby, your body is amazing.

Be kind to yourself and make progress with your weight loss safely and healthily.

I think he was trying to be kinder by saying pregnant instead of just you look fat but still it comes across bad. This is why I would never try something on for the first time in front of a man! Anyway You are the mother to his child, I'm sure it doesn't expect you to be stick thin. If it would make you feel more confident, cut down of calories for a few weeks, no need to hit the gym, it's less food and sensible eating that will shed the pounds.