to ask you to help me to devise meal plans for my student dd

[PaidthepiperTuneismine]

DD is doing exams at the moment and is exhausted. I'm doing all that a Mum can do (i.e. keeping my nose out) and advising her on nutrition/sleep/fresh air/exercise.

If you were to devise a meal plan for 'brain' food (she is putting enormous pressure on herself to do well in her A-levels next year), what meals would you put in there?

I'm aware that B12 (is that Thiamine?) is a brain food. Omega 3 and 6 also seem to be important. She's 17 and has heavy periods, so she's on a multivitamin, but I'm just wondering about meal plans to ensure she gets the best nutrition.

Ideas for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks? You're welcome to provide one recommended meal or a whole range (I'll probably put all of your ideas into a meal plan, so any suggestions welcome).

OP - salmon wrapped in foil and baked at 180 for 15 mins. Steamed broccoli/kale/peas/asparagus/broad beans/spinach whatever, with brown rice or sweet or white potato. Can season with sesame, chilli, garlic and coriander, or basil pesto and lemon.

Also lentil soup/dahl - i make a batch and add fresh spinach at the last minute when reheating.

Porridge for breakfast with a handful or nuts and seeds.

Snacks should contain fibre and protein/fat.

Fresh air and daylight every day - daylight as soon after waking as possible.

Yoga/deep breathing for relaxation.

And yes yes to silly fun with friends.

Why on the aibu board though!?

I completely agree. OP, I think you're fussing too much. The best thing she could do is have a sensible revision timetable, decent down time, and to be left to it. Just cook the meals that she and the resort of the family will enjoy. When (if) she goes off to Uni, she’ll be living off Supernoodles and fresh air!!!

If include some ‘happy’ foods such as turkey to help with her mood.

But don't you see that by you stressing and making such a big deal about making sure she gets the "correct" nutrients, you are feeding into her anxiety about doing everything just right to ensure she gets the best possible exam results? It would be a much better strategy for you to encourage her to have balance in her life. Study, yes, and mostly healthy meals, but also fresh air, exercise, plenty of sleep and water, and time to relax and have fun and maybe even have some junk food and sweets at times.

You still haven't answered why you can't just continue feeding her the same way you always have. How has she got to the age of 17 before it occurred to you that parents should attempt to feed their kids a generally healthy nutritious diet?

Salmon fillets cook beautifully in a air fryer if you have one.

You can mix flax seeds etc into porridge. Also make smoothies with seeds and green veg. Peanut butter also a good energy booster.

If she has heavy periods then it might be worth getting her iron levels checked as even if she is not anaemic she could be very close to it and would benefit from extra iron.

My son (24) is exhausted all the time at the moment and finds eating smaller amounts more regularly is really helpful. He tries to have something every 2-3 hours, even if its just a handful of nuts or a tub of proper greek yoghurt with honey. Also lots and lots of water or very diluted juice helps. He finds fruit juice too acidic.

I’m assuming she’s year 13? My dd is too and it’s a stressful time. I’m guessing you (assuming you are the main cook) feed your family a balanced, nutritious diet? I would advise just carry on with what you normally do - there is huge comfort in familiarity when you’re stressed - I would t say now is the time to enforce change and put her in a diet if mackerel if that isn’t something you as a family normally eat. Also I believe there is a place in it all for going out with yr mates and drinking cheap vodka at a party - tbh that is as much of a destresser as anything else.

Encourage healthy options but only for you all as a family. She’s stressed so as others say she will pick up on your stress.

Breakfast every morning, hot meal for dinner. What she eats at school in between is her business.

You can't feed a child to de stress them, sorry OP.

Just be kind to yourself. I bet you're doing enough already.

Have you had her iron / haemoglobin levels checked? There’s no point agonising over small changes if she’s iron deficient / anaemic due to her periods (iron deficiency can make your periods heavier so it’s a vicious cycle).
If she has a fairly balanced diet and takes a multivitamin it’s very unlikely she will be deficient in anything else. If you want to make changes I’d concentrate more on foods she enjoys or which can be a nice experience for you both eg baking together and proper comfort foods.
I totally get why you’re wanting to channel your stress about her stress into something helpful, and putting extra care into her food may be exactly what you need to be doing. Good luck with everything this year.

@Anonymous48 do you think no-one should be allowed to try to improve their family's nutritional intake? Has yours been optimal for the entire life of your children?

Absolutely not. But I've tried to do my best. I was asking the OP what has changed. Why now? What has she been feeding her daughter thus far?

There are some very rude replies OP. Ignore those and take on board the good ones. Your DD will be okay, and so will you.

I get it @PaidthepiperTuneismine. My DD is currently year 11 doing mocks and is stressed. You want to keep out of the way and let them get on with it, while also ensuring the conditions you are responsible for (ie meals) are helpful. I don't think that's weird a lot all. My mum always made me 'brain food' like fish before exams and it didn't pile any stress on me. Maybe that kind of food doesn't make any difference on a day to day basis, but it is still an act of love and I felt supported by her doing it. Don't forget a little treat for the end of the week too!

That's it precisely and thank you for your kindness.

As mothers, it's hard to watch them under pressure, so you stay in the background just mothering and fussing and annoying the shit out of them most probably

I know that dd feels reassured that I care, so that she can get on with the important work of studying. 😎
Because clearly I simply wouldn't understand hah!

I think that because my parents essentially got me to 18 and then pretty much abandoned me lol, it's important to me that dd doesn't feel that now that she's a big girl, that she's entirely on her own.

I think every child, likes to steer their own ship, but sometimes it's nice to have an anchor.

Dd has declared herself a 'student' since she started school, aged 4! 😂

I feel like you need to be their launchpad and let them determine their own lives. It doesn't absolve me of my responsibility or loyalty to her as her Mum.

Thank you! I've no doubt that dd will be okay. Me on the other hand? I've never really relaxed since the day I became a mother. They don't tell you that at pregnancy school lol.

McDonalds and chicken nuggets.

I assume that was sarcastic? As I said before, if you've been feeding her a basically healthy diet her whole life, then there's no reason to stress now about adding flax seeds, for example. And your daughter will absolutely pick up on your stress about it.

If that answer was actually truthful, then it's awesome that you're making changes! Just basic, unprocessed food is all you need to worry about. Food that your daughter enjoys of course, but lots of whole grains and vegetables.

A good multivitamin with enough iron
Extra vitamin d
Drink lots of water.
These are probably the most important.
Eye exam and glasses. Poor vision makes you exhausted.

Myself and other students lived off of cheap delivery pizzas.
We called them lucky exam pizzas.
Graduated very top in class
Same with BS and MS degrees.

OP.
The breakfast I was recommended by some doctor who I can't remember for a student was 2 slices of buttered wholegrain toast with Vegemite ( marmite I guess if in the UK) avocado and cheese o on top. . With a bowl of blueberries and vanilla yoghurt on the side. Just a thought. Good luck to your DD.
Turkey or chicken wraps with cheese and salad are good and can be munched on as they read. Also, hamburgers, homemade beef or chicken or a kebab from the store with heaps of salad.