aibu to ask for your tips on depression?

[Josette77]

I have low grade depression. I am on medication for it and OCD but right now I am struggling. I am a single mum to a lovely boy with complex special needs. Life is beautiful, and hard, and unpredicatable. I feel like I'm constantly fighting to keep my head above water.
Tonight I had a shower which was prompted by the shower thread. I hadn't in three days. I have been so exhausted.

What other things do people.do to help their depression? Any tips would he greatly appreciated.

Walks outside, even just very short ones, make such a difference to me. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Thank you ❤️
I am going to walk more starting tomorrow. That is a great idea.

Gentle handhold. I found a PDF a number of years ago online and decided to print it out. It currently sits on the wall beside my toilet (in a frame for hygiene purposes), on my fridge, bedroom wall. It has saved my life many times over.

When depressed I can't make any decisions for myself, everything is overwhelming but by working my way through the sheet it means that I managed to meet basic needs even if I didn't want to be anymore.

I feel like routines like making the bed and having breakfast make me feel like I've achieved something and if it's in the morning then that tends to set me up well for the day. I set myself goals for each day, try to keep them small and manageable. I also find i feel better when the house is tidy so I try to keep on top of it but that's a never ending battle! I also like to bake things for others and do wee creative projects. I did a course once that recommended you make a list of things you do (like what others would see and notice) when you're feeling well and having a really good day. Could be cleaning/ walking/ texting friends/ cooking instead of takeaway/ having a bath/ doing tan and nails etc. And then when I start to feel crappy those are the things i do to try and bring myself back. But if it get up and make my bed and have breakfast then even if I achieve nothing else that day I've still had two wins.

That’s great advice, @NotanotherboxofFrogs

One other thing would be to write a list of things to do in the day, so you can have the small dopamine hit from marking things off, it can be tiny things but seeing a list getting ticked off has definitely made me feel better at times. Here is 3 and you haven't even had anything to eat/ drink yet, but it's 3 ticks off. I think of it like a game, so Im trying to get the ticks as fast as i can.

Get out of bed,
showered
dressed

Go outside in nature as much as possible.
Notice the beauty of it and think about how it just works. Notice the different colors of things. Think about how nature's palette is always perfect.
I've been known to sit on a bench and stare at a fall leaf for a little while thinking about everything to do with it. The season, the breeze, the temperature.
Once you do this, you see how perfectly you fit.

As a PP has suggested walks, you may not have much time for a walk, I have found some days I go from the front door to my gate (and just stand breathing slowly) and back a few times (its less than 10 metres round trip), its small and achievable and doing that many times a day does as add up, Depression is probably sucking all energy out of you so with this, you can do in seconds but also getting the ticks off the list.

Oh my gosh I am crying reading these suggestions. Thank you all for responding.
I am printing out that list to put in my bathroom. I have a frame too. ❤️

Also I am making a daily list. Going outside even for a few minutes is a great idea.

You have all helped a ton. I needed some direction I am just so low.

Be with animals.

My DS's developmental paediatrician told me that a full 80% of the mothers of children with SN she saw were clinically depressed (and a full half of them have been abandoned by their husbands btw). It is lonely and stressful and throws into question all our life goals.
I second the others on the list of small achievable projects. And that one of them could be getting outside daily if only for the briefest walk.

Wow. That hits hard. I have a few close friends in that situation as well. It's quite lonely being left to do it all alone Sending you a huge hug. 💓

A dog, two cats, and two aquariums. Animals are brilliant therapists. ❤️

Also yes to the life goals. My ex has a life of fun and freedom, and I try and get by each day. My life goals are very different now.

@Josette77

My best, most precious darling boy!

Have also another cat and a dog.

Aw!!! So precious!!!!❤️❤️❤️

One of my boys. 💓

Eat the most healthy food I can

Yoga - lots of Youtube options, starting from 10 minutes. At the moment I favour yoga with kassandra (she has lots aimed at improving sleep) but I also like Yoga with Bird and Yoga with Adriennne.

Drink lots of water

in your shoes, I’d also try a support group for parents of SN children. Just sharing with others can help.

And finally a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things a day that you are thankful for. There is evidence that it retrains your brain.

💐 for you.

Thanks you @Rainbowqueeen 🌷

I used to do yoga with Bird and Adrienne. I need to do that again.

I will look intoa support group too.

Thank you. 💗

I’ve been taking a vitamin D supplement for the last few months. I genuinely feel better than I have for years.

Remember that you are not alone OP. There are lots of us out there feeling like you do

Definitely take a strong Berocca style multivitamin (supermarkets so them much cheaper) and extra vitamin D. Exercise as much as you can find time for and if you can’t, just go out into the garden, look up to the sky and breathe. Cuddle those pets and maybe get a weighted blanket for sleeping under for a bit of deep pressure. Get a SAD lamp if you can. Reach out to a friend and have a chat. I find listening to ‘hypnosis’ tracks on Spotify helps a bit as I fall asleep.

All of these things are easier said than done by the way, I’m really feeling it too this year 😭.

You describe your life as unpredictable - this can be difficult to deal with when you are struggling. I have felt this way, I did a LOT to try and control my environment and make it more predictable, but the only things that worked was spending my time with kind and reliable people, routine with health and personal care, a good diet and maybe most importantly reconciling the way my life was - instead of how I thought it would be.

You describe your life as beautiful - which I have no doubt it can be. You will appreciate this beauty one day and you appreciate that you have it in your life, and the hard work will become less so. Just take it one day at a time till you get there.

Oh my gosh thank you for these suggestions and supportive comments. 💗

I am taking every single suggestion. I stopped taking my vitamin D for some reason so on it again.
I did some yoga this morning and journaling.

I am going to make a list with all these suggestions and put it next to my bed.

Yes the unpredictability is hard. Violent meltdowns school refusal are the big issues.
But also so much laughter. Sometimes the harder issues just crush me.

I have a weighted blanket I stopped using. I don't know why I guess depression just makes it hard to do the things that help? Everything feels more difficult and exhausting.

Huge hugs to all of you. I wish I could help everyone here struggling. It's such an awful feeling. 💔