To not want to go on family holiday far from a hospital

[Allihavetodoisdream]

I don’t know if this is just my anxiety talking. My baby has just been in hospital with a virus and needed oxygen overnight. I’m still getting over the panic so am probably in flight or fight mode still (I have anxiety and found this experience quite frightening).

Anyway, in 2-3 weeks we are due to go to the countryside for four days with all of my husband’s family as a pre-Xmas holiday. It’s near where I’m from so I knew it was remote but upon Googling I see it’s a full hour’s drive from the nearest A&E. I feel quite scared about being so far from a hospital so soon after my baby has needed urgent medical attention. But I know that if we don’t go my husband - who hardly sees his family because they won’t come to the city and there have been train strikes for months (we don’t have a car) will be angry with me.

Am I being completely mad? I’m open to the possibility that I am. Maybe I just need to calm down and it’ll seem doable but at the moment I’m just feeling very grateful for the fact we live extremely close to one of the best hospitals.

I like his family and would be happy to go if it were nearer medical facilities.

AIBU? And if so, how can I manage this?

In three weeks time it will just be a memory. 🤷‍♀️

YABU

you need to speak to your GP and see if your anxiety can be better managed, as you’re in for a long 18 years if this is how things are starting out

This is anxiety talking - don’t cancel the weekend

It’s 3 weeks away. Come on, don’t be daft.

You know the area and know the hospital route which is good. It must be quicker for an ambulance in emergency. Are there any doctors locally that might be available if necessary? Yanbu. It’s normal to be worried about your baby’s health. Tell the family how you feel. There should be understanding there. If something goes wrong you will have help.

You sound nice.
I’m already in treatment but generally manage quite well. This has just thrown me.

I understand as I suffer anxiety and had a baby in overnight needing oxygen - but YABU to cancel the holiday over it. It's 3 weeks away, and it's an hour from a hospital, not 12. It'll be fine.

Thank you. Yes, maybe I’ll feel better if there is a bit of support and reassurance there.

Ok thank you. I’m probably still in panic mode

In a real emergency in a rural area they'd send the air ambulance out. DS goes into anaphylaxis, my biggest concern was a phone signal.

That puts it into perspective, thank you. It sounds incredibly stressful. Phone signal can be appalling in rural areas. Will check if there’s wifi as you can call via that

Bit worried that I suffer anxiety now as I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all! I have not gone to weddings etc for similar. But then all of my children have needed ambulances etc are one time or another and the idea of being far away when one got croup etc (which happened in rural France one day) makes me feel unwell!!!!

i would always rather err on the side of caution though and can’t believe some stuff people let their children do and think is not dangerous so I doubt I’m with the majority here!

@Floatyflip is right though. I suffer horribly with anxiety and am medicated for it because I was doing irrational things like this before I got help. Sometimes the things we don’t want to hear are the things we really need to listen to.

Bear in mind that there will be ambulance stations much closer than the hospital, so if an emergency arose, it's not as if you'd have to wait a full hour for medical attention.

Try not to let yourself get too worried, OP. It's terrifying when something happens and your baby is ill, but as time goes on you start to realise how unlikely it is to be repeated, and how resilient babies actually are.

Your baby should be fully well again by then. I think you are overthinking this. If your child was still unwell then yes maybe I could see your point. Why not assume you will be going unless there is a good reason why not nearer the time?

I thought you were about to say you're going to a random island in the Indian ocean with no hospital for hours.

UK is fine!

My son has severe allergies and can go into Anaphylaxis. We've happily been all over Europe but I wouldn't be so confident going anywhere too remote or 3rd world, just in case.

Oh gosh you’ve had a bashing on this thread!

I don’t think you are being overly anxious! You’ve had a frightening experience and so are of course frightened!

I wouldn’t count on an ambulance, I had to call one recently for a suspected heart attack and had to wait an hour for one to arrive. Is there someone in the group who can drive? What is the taxi availability?

How likely is baby to need oxygen again (do they have any vulnerabilities, like prematurity).

I would say, don’t make your decision today. Make an appointment with your GP for a follow up a week before and ask for their advice. This will also give you time to monitor how you baby is improving and see how you feel.

Contact your health visitor for some advice and reassurance. HVs see the babies and will have loads of experience of supporting families. For what it’s worth, one of mine did what your wee one did and is now a big hairy teenager. Enjoy your holiday. Sorry about the underlining, not sure why that happened.

I get it. My 7 month old (at the time) was in hospital for a week, on 100% oxygen for three days and the nights were filled with beeping when his levels went too low. 6 years later my heart still jumps when I hear that kind of beeping.

It took weeks before I stopped checking his breathing constantly. That said, the oxygen was started in the ambulance, so please don’t stress about how far you are from a hospital, plus OOH services always have access to oxygen.

Check what I’ve said to reassure yourself, but go on holiday. After the stress of a hospital stay, you need one.

I get it too. My littlest spent a week in hospital on oxygen with RSV. I still watch him breathing at night when he has a cold and it was ages ago now. Unless people have been through it, they really don't get it.

Ambulances carry oxygen and nebulisers and can treat your baby on the way to hospital. They will get to you quickly if your baby has breathing difficulties. Chances are you won't need any of that though, and you will allhave a lovely hholiday.

A year ago today mine needed an ambulance for breathing and was absolutely fine sitting in there with an oxygen mask for the 30 minute drive. The treatment doesn't only start at hospital. It'll be fine.

How old is the baby? Ask for an inhaler if they are old enough.

I live somewhere exactly like that, even if the nearest a&e is an hour away there is likely to be some kind of urgent care centre closer by where you could get to sooner and they would be able to assist until transfer to a bigger unit could happen if required.

there are also first responders in many rural areas who carry oxygen and can access the defibs etc, they can literally be there in minutes.

during the day the air ambulance would probably attend an emergency involving a child.

Air ambulances tend to cover rural areas like that if things were dire. 🚁

With all due respect, I am not doing anything irrational. I am feeling panicky after a medical emergency and fully cognisant of the fact that I might be being a bit irrational in the aftermath of it. But even if I was having very severe anxiety I don’t think it would justify people being so mean!

Thank you. You do get it. And I’m sorry that happened. Thanks for taking the time to offer me some reassurance