AIBU to still buy toys for Xmas ?

[Northtosouth]

I messaged SIL asking what niece (5) and nephew (6) would like for Christmas. I do this every year to see if there is anything specific I should buy.

SIL replied, she wasn’t sure but please no more toys as they’ve already had loads of toys bought for them from other family members. That’s fine happy to purchase something else but I asked her what and she said she wasn’t sure. I don’t have children yet, so other than clothes I can’t think of what else to get. Not sure how much a 5 and 6 year old would appreciate a new outfit for Christmas, although could be wrong?

If you were her would you be annoyed if I bought toys even though she’s said not to, on account of her not suggesting anything else ? Or can anyone send some inspo my way? Usually spend £50-75 on each of them for reference.

Big difference between toys chosen by a 5yo, guided by a parent, and toys chosen by someone else. It sounds like the parents won't let them loose in Smyths with it! I think it's a great age to start teaching them to save money towards a "big thing".

Books books books! My dc’s favourite ‘auntie’ is partly their favourite because she always buys them a huge pile of books, all wrapped individually and the whole pile tied up with string. For some reason this wrapping appeals to them enormously and they always talk excitedly about what might be in their ‘book tower’. One year she didn’t bother with the string, and the disappointment was out of all proportion! 😂

Take them on a day out, then you're giving your SIL a present too (the free time)!

I'm currently asking family not to buy toys that will just sit collecting dust. It really bothers me no matter how well intentioned. So yes, I would be annoyed but I appreciate your heart is in the right place!

Great ideas on here! I have a six year old and asked for no toys either, a day out or a cinema pass is a fab idea. Where is live we have a business that kids can do in and paint a ceramic unicorn/ dinosaur which is a good idea.
Do the children have any hobbies?

Invest it for them both, add a bit more each year and let them have it when they turn 18.

I'd be annoyed, please don't buy toys. Did she say no books? Or what about a book voucher they can choose their own. I often buy clothes I know not exciting for them but useful, or I like the idea of an experience/day out.

Colouring books and pens
Some kind of craft kit

Do not buy toys if she's asked you not to

My 6 year old niece loves dresses, tutus and dressing up clothes, I have previously bought her bright pink DMs for her birthday which she wore everywhere she could. She is typically "girly" so likes child friendly nail varnish, hair clips, bracelets too

My 6 year old nephew loves clothes with marvel/dc characters on. But more often than not, he gets toys because he prefers figures to play with.

This year (their birthdays are in December too) they have tickets to Disney on ice for their birthday, and clothes for Christmas

You would be unreasonable to buy them toys anyway.

Massive pet peeve of mine when people ask you about gifts, you tell people to please not get something due to xyz and they do it anyway. What’s the point of asking then?

Go for experiences. My youngest (5) is into baking at the moment and I’m suggesting things around it like a small baking kit so that we can bake different things together. Mine also loves hats and fuzzy jumpers.

My oldest (7) loves the outdoors and soft plays so anyone who takes him is great in his book so a few hours of soft play for him or both works well.

If someone specifically says to you ‘no toys’ of course you don’t go and bloody buy toys

Memberships to local farms, tickets to a fun family day out, books, a day out 1-1 etc.

My 4yo and 6yo love just opening gifts at Christmas. If she has said no toys what about fluffy blankets, slippers, stationery, reading books things like that.

Both of my kids were obsessed with the blankets and stuff during our last trip to primark, so much so I'm actually going during the week to get a few bits as part of their Christmas gifts!

I feel so guilty when family buy toys that the kids just don't play with. It's a waste of money. My eldest is a bit odd and never really played with toys but loved crafts, outdoor activities and dens. Every year my mum and brother would buy typical 'boy' toys 🙄 like cars, dinosaurs and robots that never got played with. They also never ask what he'd actually like. It makes me so cross at the waste! This year I sent them a list of ideas (which probably got the bitching about me) but they each picked something (all ideas £20 or less) and he was over the moon with them.

I second ideas like a magazine subscription, cool onesie, books, crafts, money for savings or a day out. One of our best gifts was a 'day out with Thomas'. DS didn't particularly like Thomas but it was a lovely day out together.

Yes you would be unreasonable to just buy more toys.

They'll just end up Sat gathering dust and cluttering the place if they have lots and lots.

A puppy!

Cold hard cash works every time

A lovely book each.

Don’t get you’d if she’s said not to. There’s lots of lovely alternatives

Cinema vouchers

Photo blanket/cushion/mug with photo of their pet on (if they have a pet)

Watch/necklace

Money box with the money in

Football kit

Things for their room, cool lamps, pictures, planetarium projector

PJs/dressing gown/Oodie

Adopt a panda/snow leopard or sponsor a dog at dogs trust. You get letters and photos throughout the year.

I have a 4 and a 6 yo. I've been asked this too so I've made a list for family which includes: carboard tools so they can make things out of old boxes, sensory stepping stones, a den making kit, a years family subscription to our local science centre or tampoline park. A subscription for their favourite craft/science boxes, beanbags, an underwater telescope.
Obviously people can go off list and get something else but it helps to have suggestions

you’d? That should say toys.

Why would you ask and then specifically ignore her though??

I would understand no toys to be no toys, including no plastic tat or very large items.

I wouldn't class books, colouring books, craft kits and supplies as toys so would get those. Do board games count as toys? Orchard Games are good, lots of educational ones.

Or other consumables like bubbles, bubble bath, bath bombs, bath slime/crazy foam etc.

Maybe stuff for their rooms - money box, fleece character blanket, character/flippable sequin cushions, night light, projector clock

For the Niece she's a good age for accessories like nice hair bands, clips, stretchy jewellery, little handbag. Watches?

My DD is 5 and would like to receive, or has happily received already, all the above.

I would just do cash. Or if you want to give a gift with it then either pyjamas, a book or a selection box with cash. £50 is very generous...I don't know what's expected but I don't think it needs to be that much.

I still buy toys for family but have been putting cash in bday cards when DS has gone to parties since about age 5 so I think kids that age are just about old enough to appreciate it.

I think you would be unreasonable to buy toys when she's said not to, however it's a shame she can't give you an actual idea...even if it's to say money or PJs. DS has a Christmas list and all his relatives pick something off of it...it's so much easier...he gets things that they know he will appreciate and no duplicates.

Are you nearby? Tickets for the Panto after Christmas so that you can take them? Other theatre tickets to child friendly show at their local theatre later in the year + a selection box or something small to open on the morning.

Family annual pass for somewhere
A day out for each child, cinema, food etc. always means so much more to my kids and as its after christmas they have something to look forward to.
You could also start a tradition of bringing them to panto each year. My relation does this amd the kids love it and have never questioned why they didnt get a present