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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me figure out something to do

82 replies

YipYipAppa · 14/11/2022 13:45

I've done admin since I did a business admin NVQ when I was 17 (I'm now 37). I was never that enthusiastic about the idea of admin but needed to do something and that was suggested and, as I didn't know what else to do, I went with it.

In the last couple of years, I began to get fed up of doing admin and now I am at the stage where I hate it. I am miserable for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. I'm stressed and tired, and by Sunday night, I'm already dreading the week ahead. I don't want to feel like this every week for the next 30/40/50 years.

The problem is, I have no idea what else I could actually do. I've only ever done admin. Please help me think of some other things I can do!

Some background info:

  • I'm tiny (4'8") so physical jobs are a no go (e.g my DP is a gardener and I would be unable to do that as I am not physically strong enough and wouldn't be able to lift things onto trailers - even with things that I could lift, I would still struggle with being able to reach things etc)
  • I do some crafts but am not very good at any of them so would be unable to make things to sell (as much as I would love to)
  • I don't think my interests really translate into jobs I could actually do, eg I love animals, especially dogs, but would be unable to work with bigger dogs due to my height/lack of strength. I used to visit an older lady who lived nearby and I'd walk her (Labrador cross) dog with her but I had to be very careful when I had the lead as he could easily have ended up dragging me along (thankfully he was happy to walk alongside me).

O wise ones, can anyone give me any ideas of things I could at least look into? My sanity depends on doing something else and I've been wracking my brains but coming up empty. It's really getting me down and I would love to feel a bit more hopeful as we're rapidly approaching a new year!

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:39

BIWI · 15/11/2022 08:45

@YipYipAppa

I think you need to have a read of this thread from the beginning - you're rejecting everything that's being put forward!

Is there nothing positive or inspirational you can take from any of these suggestions?

I've read it from the beginning.

That is part of the problem - it's much easier to know what I DON'T want to do than figuring out what I DO want to do.

I'm not trying to be insulting and I'm certainly not dismissing suggestions out of hand.

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:40

NoSquirrels · 15/11/2022 08:52

can't seem to figure out something that aligns with my answers.

OK, but what ARE your answers? You can’t say you’ve thought of everything, nothing fits, but please can I be inspired if no one on MN knows which areas of life you find interesting.

When you answer:

What do I enjoy doing, what motivates me, I’m at my happiest when…

what do those answers look like?

I'm at work currently but will answer your questions later.

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:43

NoSquirrels · 15/11/2022 08:58

I think maybe I need to find something less office-based but no idea what that could be!

Non office-based jobs that don’t need lots of physical strength:

Hairdresser or beauty therapist
Plumber
Electrician
Retail worker
Hospitality worker
Teacher or TA

I've done retail before and didn't like it - I dislike dealing with the public all day. I know. Manual jobs (plumber/electrician) aren't really suitable and though you may not need to be physically strong, they are physical jobs - I know a couple of people who have done plumbing and have had back problems due to it and as I already struggle with my back at times, it wouldn't be sensible.
I'm terrible with children so I would make an awful teacher/TA!

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:46

Snnowflake · 15/11/2022 09:06

Barmaid / hospitality - people are always interesting, and sometimes rude.
i think the attitude to osteo arthritis has changed and you build up strength in your muscles and tendons to support- not avoid using them.
Yoga/ Pilates teacher.

I can't deal with rude people! I've worked retail in the past and hated dealing with the public all day! Add drunk people into the mix and it sounds like a nightmare! I'd barely be able to see over the bar anyway 😂

I am very much aware of what is good for osteo arthritis - my dad has had it since long before I was born. I do strength exercises regularly (along with cardio and stretching). But building up strength doesn't mean that doing physical/manual work for 8 hours five days a week is sensible.

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:51

hugefanofcheese · 15/11/2022 09:17

You've not really said what aspects of your work, however small, you've enjoyed, or what your preferred sectors have been.

If you did something like HR or law then your experience would be an advantage if you've worked in those areas.

Your compassionate nature that you see as a disadvantage could be channelled usefully with say, nursing or teaching. The civil service have a lot of different roles that you can apply straight for using your admin experience transferrably. Are you looking for more money? If not, retail would have non physical roles. What about 3rd sector stuff, that might be more rewarding. Do you want to retrain or just find something you can apply to straight away?

That's because, to be honest, there's not really anything I can say I enjoy particularly, hence why I'm miserable 5 days a week! There are things that I used to enjoy but after so long of doing it, the shine has gone.

I don't mind retraining for the right role (and a role that I would have plenty of opportunities with - I don't want to spend a lot of money training only to find that the opportunities aren't there). Retail is definitely not for me - I've worked in retail and working with the public is not something I enjoy. I would be no good at being a nurse - I'm far too emotional! I couldn't cope with seeing people at their worst, if I see someone else cry, I will not be able to stop myself from crying.

OP posts:
Snnowflake · 15/11/2022 18:55

You could look at courses with the OU. Start on a path to a new qualification.

Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:55

wildseas · 15/11/2022 09:17

I don't think that its feasible to move completely away from admin unless you have a burning passion to do something else - completely retraining and starting again at the bottom of a career ladder is going to be tricky unless you really really want it. You'd be better off finding something where there is still some admin that you just put up with, but a lot of other things that you're fired up to do.

Have a look at company secretary type roles at big companies. They're quite technical and often really well paid - some admin but also a lot of professional knowledge/advice. You would need to do some more studying but your background with legal/compliance stuff would make this easier.

Have a look as well at legal roles. You don't have to be a fully qualified lawyer to do everything in a legal office. Again, the admin experience will be useful but the roles will be different.

Health and safety officer would come under this sort of banner as well. Again the admin background would be helpful, and you'd need to do some further study.

My last piece of advice is a more tricky one but if you can't think of anything at all which you would enjoy, which would get you fired up and motivated; and your career that you previously enjoyed is no longer enjoyable. Would it be worth considering whether you're feeling anxious or depressed rather than just needing a career change?

As I said previously, I don't mind a role that has some admin but I don't want one that is solely admin. I know there are a lot of jobs that aren't admin jobs per se but may still involve elements of admin - I'm okay with that.

I have absolutely no desire to be a secretary in any description (I'm a freelance PA now so it's similar to what I'm doing).

I don't think I'm anxious so much as stressed - like a lot of people, it's been a tough couple of years and it's taking its toll. I don't want to go into details but it feels like it's been one thing after another for the last few months especially and adding to that, having to do something that I don't enjoy and don't want to do for 8 hours a day 5 days a week, I do feel like a bit of a mess at the moment.

OP posts:
CarrieOnStop · 15/11/2022 18:58

A barber. I've done Admin for years and have lately wanted to a barbering course? I have no idea why haha
But where I live they are always needing barbers, you can be freelance and work your own hours, branch out into nose waxing won't do back, sack and crack though.

Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:58

givemushypeasachance · 15/11/2022 09:22

As you've acknowledged admin is a great transferrable skill, and you've done some public sector before. If you join a civil service dept/organisation in an admin type role, if you show half an ounce of common sense and adaptability it is then easy to transfer between teams and gain skills and experience in other areas you can then explore further in that dept or you can shift to another dept. I work in a small team and of the handful of colleagues I work directly with at SEO/HEO level, most joined at the lowest Administrative Officer level doing some pretty generic admin work and then gained experience and specialised within a couple of years. Even in my arms-length body there are all sorts of possibilities from shifting into HR work, to internal or external communications, facilities management, information services (though that sort of thing would probably require asking to do specific training and qualifications) even before you get into the actual 'meat and potatoes' of the work we do and supporting delivery/policy etc.

I think my biggest problem at the moment is I just don't really want to do office-based work, whatever the description of that may be and however specialised. I don't mind if a role has some office/admin type work but I don't want it to be all that.

OP posts:
ThatGirlInACountrySong · 15/11/2022 18:58

I don't think the job you want exists! I was going to suggest a couple but can kind of guess you'll reject them

Do you actually want to work?

Fireweeds · 15/11/2022 18:59

although actually with plumbing you might end up with fewer back issues than someone taller - much of what makes plumbing hard is squeezing into little spaces, fitting under sinks etc.

however we now have one concrete - no working with the general public. Which is absolutely fair enough because so many are shitbags.

Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 18:59

longtompot · 15/11/2022 09:24

What about working in a craft shop? Either one that sells handmade crafts or one that sells the items to make the crafts. You said you enjoy crafts but aren't good enough to do it as a job so you are enthusiastic about crafting, which I think is quite important in such a place.

Show quote history

I dislike retail and dealing with the public unfortunately! There aren't many craft shops around me anyway and with how little retail pays, it wouldn't be worth a big commute.

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 19:00

Princessglittery · 15/11/2022 10:22

The National Careers Service has a skills assessment which also suggests potential careers nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/skills-assessment

Thank you, I will take a look when I've finished work for the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 19:01

Wheelyweddingwipedout · 15/11/2022 11:53

@YipYipAppa - I was where you are, and although I haven’t worked it all out yet, I found strengthsfinder 2.0 a great starting point. Buy a new book though, not a used one.

Thank you, I will have a look into it.

I'm glad it's not just me that feels the same way, I would think it would be more common but I guess not. I feel quite lost at the moment and I would love to figure it out!

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 19:03

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 15/11/2022 18:58

I don't think the job you want exists! I was going to suggest a couple but can kind of guess you'll reject them

Do you actually want to work?

Of course I want to work, at least to the degree that anyone wants to work. If I didn't want to work, why would I have asked the question to begin with?

OP posts:
MrsSchrute · 15/11/2022 19:03

So you want a job that is not physical, not public facing, not in an office, not dealing with children, doesn't involve admin, and is not emotionally taxing??
That's a huge amount of jobs that you've discounted there!

CheapWine · 15/11/2022 19:04

Would you consider a degree? Most Healthcare jobs are very physical but I wonder whether something like a podiatrist or dietician would appeal?

Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 19:07

Fireweeds · 15/11/2022 18:59

although actually with plumbing you might end up with fewer back issues than someone taller - much of what makes plumbing hard is squeezing into little spaces, fitting under sinks etc.

however we now have one concrete - no working with the general public. Which is absolutely fair enough because so many are shitbags.

Re squeezing into smaller spaces, you are correct that I probably wouldn't have quite the same back issues as taller people, but it's still doing lots of things that aren't good for your back!

Yes, definitely a concrete no working with the general public. Aside from retail, I've had to deal with them to some degree in most of my roles and they are the worst.

OP posts:
Original poster
YipYipAppa · 15/11/2022 19:08

MrsSchrute · 15/11/2022 19:03

So you want a job that is not physical, not public facing, not in an office, not dealing with children, doesn't involve admin, and is not emotionally taxing??
That's a huge amount of jobs that you've discounted there!

Well, yes, therein lies the problem (though to clarify, I've said that I wouldn't mind a role that involves some admin, I just don't want it to be solely admin).

OP posts:
ilovemaxibons · 15/11/2022 19:11

YipYipAppa · 14/11/2022 13:45

I've done admin since I did a business admin NVQ when I was 17 (I'm now 37). I was never that enthusiastic about the idea of admin but needed to do something and that was suggested and, as I didn't know what else to do, I went with it.

In the last couple of years, I began to get fed up of doing admin and now I am at the stage where I hate it. I am miserable for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. I'm stressed and tired, and by Sunday night, I'm already dreading the week ahead. I don't want to feel like this every week for the next 30/40/50 years.

The problem is, I have no idea what else I could actually do. I've only ever done admin. Please help me think of some other things I can do!

Some background info:

  • I'm tiny (4'8") so physical jobs are a no go (e.g my DP is a gardener and I would be unable to do that as I am not physically strong enough and wouldn't be able to lift things onto trailers - even with things that I could lift, I would still struggle with being able to reach things etc)
  • I do some crafts but am not very good at any of them so would be unable to make things to sell (as much as I would love to)
  • I don't think my interests really translate into jobs I could actually do, eg I love animals, especially dogs, but would be unable to work with bigger dogs due to my height/lack of strength. I used to visit an older lady who lived nearby and I'd walk her (Labrador cross) dog with her but I had to be very careful when I had the lead as he could easily have ended up dragging me along (thankfully he was happy to walk alongside me).

O wise ones, can anyone give me any ideas of things I could at least look into? My sanity depends on doing something else and I've been wracking my brains but coming up empty. It's really getting me down and I would love to feel a bit more hopeful as we're rapidly approaching a new year!

OP, what about a PA type role?

tealgate · 15/11/2022 19:12

Box office in a theatre?

NanooCov · 15/11/2022 19:36

Honestly I think you just need to keep your current job but cut your hours if you can so at least you're not miserable for a full five days a week.

Kafta · 15/11/2022 19:40

Speech therapist?

I feel like you'd like to do something that has meaning, OP?

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 15/11/2022 19:48

No public

Daijoubudesu · 15/11/2022 19:59

Careers adviser or life coach